more fun than a barrel of dead monkeys, I am a pop culture glutton. Fart jokes, boobies, bands, artists, toys, and anyone else creative or cool. I love music and love art, photography, models and fishing... hoofah! Give me more!
conceived in the rumble seat of a stolen car, J'aime les pets de soeurs. Ya Voll!
TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name: Monkey or REDNECK or mom calls me shithead
Birthday: a wednesday i think
Birthplace: Hospital bed
Current Location: Tokyo then Osaka then Kyoto then Seoul then Ottawa then Toronto etc
Eye Color: seductive
Hair Color: full bodied
Height: a strapping 2 feet 7 inches (6 feet with my prehensile tail)
Right Handed or Left Handed: depends on what i am using them for
Your Heritage: honky
The Shoes You Wore Today: nope
Your Weakness: puddles
Your Fears: never let 'em know your fears
Your Perfect Pizza: FREE
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year (or next year): To start my own business between Canada and Japan
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: boobies
Thoughts First Waking Up: boobies
Your Best Physical Feature: my perky nipples
Your Bedtime: boobies oh! uh, when i need sleep
Your Most Missed Memory: family all together for the holidays
Pepsi or Coke: COKE is it. the most refreshing way... to make the most of every day
MacDonalds or Burger King: i have a uniform fetish
Single or Group Dates: single
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Beer
Chocolate or Vanilla: Chunky Munky
Cappuccino or Coffee: i like my coffee like i like my women: black and bitter
Do you Smoke: no chance, sundance
Do you Swear: to God
Do you Sing: why ye. but i get complaints from the neighours
Do you Shower Daily: i wash the bad thoughts away
Have you Been in Love: stewardesses
Do you want to go to College: hell no! still paying for the last time i went
Do you want to get Married: if i am lucky
Do you believe in yourself: i believe i can fly
Do you get Motion Sickness: violent eruptions
Do you think you are Attractive: i am fat and sassy wayoooohhhh!!
Are you a Health Freak: my body is a temple of abuse
Do you get along with your Parents: i keep them in the cellar.
Do you like Thunderstorms: loves 'em
Do you play an Instrument: you wanna see my tools?
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: i don't remember
In the past month have you Smoked: baloney
In the past month have you been on Drugs: aspirin after the drinking
In the past month have you gone on a Date: i wish
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: and i didnt like it one bit
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: deep fried
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: i caught it myself
In the past month have you been on Stage: only to do a stage dive
In the past month have you been Dumped: i have a dump every morning after my coffee
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: i am naked now
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: maybe a heart or 2?
Ever been Drunk: i dont remember
Ever been called a Tease: i am one sexy prick
Ever been Beaten up: got scars to prove it. but you should see the other guy. not a mark on him.
Ever Shoplifted: i'm no theif
How do you want to Die: i dont. what the hell kind of a question is that? stop encouraging the depressed teens to be depressed
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: i have to grow up?
What country would you most like to Visit: All of them
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: in a boy - red, in a girl - anything but yellow
Favourite Hair Color: bald is very sexy. and afros, too.
Short or Long Hair: short ones, straight ones, on the dinner plate ones
Height: as long as we can kiss standing
Weight: the bigga tha back tha betta (up to a certain point-then its just nasty)
Best Clothing Style: t-shirts
Number of Drugs I have taken: aspirin, tylenol, ibuprofin, bufferin, say no to drugs. stay in school, stop drop and roll. no running by the pool.
Number of CDs I own: hundreds
Number of Piercings: any number anywhere
Number of Tattoos: one that says MOM
Number of things in my Past I Regret: i make a strong effort to not do things i might regret.
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!
Your Monster Profile
Behemoth Midget
You Feast On: Toenails and knockers, Fingernails and Nipples
You Lurk Around KEyholes in hopes of seeing boobies in: Public Toilets, Giant Tiger and in Strip clubs giving out free pedicures
You Especially Like to Torment: Crybabies, Nipples and Parents
What's Your Monster Name?
How to make a REDNECK
Ingredients:
3 parts inteligenss (duh)
3 parts arrogenss (bingo)
5 parts instink (killer)
Method:
Stir together in a spittoon with a salted rim. Add a little gun powder and a 50 and a senseless sense of humour and .... SHAZAM!!
How to make a cracker
Ingredients:
1 part friendliness (ya right!)
1 part humour (at other's expense)
3 parts empathy (me, myself and I)
Method:
Combine in a dirty glass half filled with crushed ice and yellow snow. Add sweet emotion and a spit of vinegar! Then press off 'afore ya gets mollywopped!! KAPOW!
Personality cocktail
In a Past Life...
You Were: A Genius.
Where You Lived: In the snow.
How You Died: At Childbirth.
If I was a babe, I'd be Brigitte Bardot
Naurally sensual and beautiful
I'm an exotic beauty who turns heads everywhere
I have a look that's one of a kind (fat and sassy)
What Famous Pinup Are You? hillbillynamegenerator/"Hillbilly Name Generator
