Look, this is how I'll tell it to you. Matt and Josh were in the World Marching Band, playing the sousaphone. Then they realized that playing the sousaphone totally sucks ass, so they brought their sousaphones to Colin, who turned them into other shit, then probably smoked something out of them. Josh started playing guitar, Matt started playing drums, Colin started playing bass and, despite Matt's American Idol-worthy singing voice, only Josh and Colin started singing. Vince was around for awhile, but now he's not. Evan played guitar already, so that worked out. They all opened a restaurant together, but it didn't work so they started working at restaurants owned by other people. Except Colin, who started working on computers in 1971. They're all real good at shit. Almost immediately after something or other happened, FHOA met Dusty Records and fell in love, but that's another story, one which is quite inappropriate for children. Evan got a keyboard, and had fun annoying the shit out of everyone for a few weeks until he figured out how to use it. Then Paul came along and knew how to play keys, which worked out well for everyone. About a year and a half ago, the band had a bio telling the story of being the backing band for Chuck Norris's powerhouse combo The Chuck Five, but then it went away. FHOA does have a copy of the song "Dead Girl," but it's lost somewhere in someone's car, so please stop asking us to post it. At some point in the near and/or distant future, we will post new songs from our upcoming full-length on Dusty Records, but for now those songs don't exist. Therefore, we won't post those songs, or any other songs which don't exist, because that's just a poor practice to get into.
Here are some banners. They're nice.
