Disorder Magazine

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DISORDER GETS THE NOD FROM THE OH-SO INFLUENTIAL NYLON MAGAZINE THAT WE REALLY ARE ONE OF THE BEST THINGS TO HAVE POPPED UP FROM A LONG NIGHT OF BRAINSTORMING WHILE RIDING A SEAL IN THE BATHTUB.... NO, ACTUALLY, WE'RE JUST HOT TO TROT IN THEIR LONDON CALLING ISSUE.

WE SAID WE'D DO IT, NOW WE'VE DONE WHAT WE THREATENED!!! HERE IS THE FIRST EVER EPISODE OF DISORDER TV, DONE ON A SHOESTRING BUDGET AND LOTS OF BEER. IT'S ROUGH, IT'S READY, IT'S...... WELL, BELOW THIS ACTUALLY.

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!!!!!!!OUT THIS WEEK!!!!!!!

THE TEENAGERS – ‘Reality Check’ (LP, Merok, XL)
I know people that fucking LOVE this band. Why, I scream, oh why, why why? Oh, they shrug, it just brings back some cool memories of being young. Yeah? So does goddamn Care Bears but I don’t wanna listen to a song about how I knitted scarves for them! And so goes The Teenagers argument – wry observations and bitter recollections of young love or just a bunch of posers trying to be hipper than Agyness Dean’s Burberry dance masterclass? The latter. So the latter. The French accents are natural but sound comedy. Sorry. The lyrics feel forced and pulled from cool American books like Less Than Zero and Catcher In The Rye, and underneath that is the not-so-very-original poppy synth work that is beginning to wear thin like an overused catchphrase. Let’s face it, The Teenagers simply pick up the spirit of Frank and Moon Zappa’s ‘Valley Girl’ and give it an appallingly dull twist. (1.5/5)

YOU ME AT SIX – ‘If I Were In Your Shoes’ (single, Slam Dunk Records)
At first listen this feels a little slow around the edges, a little too glossy; you can hear the ambition to be pumping this out Muse style (or Van Halen if the guitars are anything to go by) in big arenas. It has not enough ferocity nor spite to it to make it entirely plausible, but when you consider the B-side, ‘Taste’, puts them on what is clearly more comfortable swishy-fringe territory then the A-side becomes a little more acceptable. At least they’re willing to bash themselves out of their comfort zone, which is more than can be said for a lot of bands chasing the pop punk buck these days. (2.5/5)

BE YOUR OWN PET – ‘Get Awkward’ (LP, XL)
No time wasting here; ‘Super Soaked’ takes off faster than an F1 with a head-start, rattling the teeth in your head where you stand. With 14 more songs to get through, and while I’ve never been one to complain about an album that never lets up the pace, there is something harshly relentless about ‘Get Awkward’. Imagine a very chatty, nasal person with a horse laugh getting stuck in elevator with you for a few hours and that’s the kind of sinking feeling this LP evokes at track three. The wind of change blows on ‘Becky’ to deliver a punk-‘Locomotion’ respite to proceedings and is the definite indication that BYOP have put a lot more thought into their second outing. ‘The Kelly Affair’, a 60s clappy surf influenced ditty, reinforces this while ‘Blow Your Mind’ will keep established fans of their original aggression very happy indeed. From here they chop wildly between finding their melodic feet and throwing everything out of the cot to produce the manic punkapunka that they are best known for with varying results. (3.5/5)

THE ELVIS SUICIDE – ‘Surveying The Young Professionals’
Most notable for finding out what happened to the baby-faced Steve of Bis (he produces this), The Elvis Suicide are owners of a great name and semi-interesting music. This single, murkily produced (sorry Steve), doesn’t do much to enhance what is possibly far more electric on the live circuit thanks to some punk hillbilly stylings that come across as a welcome influence rather than a tired pastiche. (3/5)

WE ALSO LOOK AT:

BORN RUFFIANS – ‘Hummingbird’ (single, Warp)
There is nothing really wrong with this but after it’s over I can’t remember it anymore. Therefore, I can’t be arsed talking about it. Shall we give it a 2 out of 5 for simply existing and not thoroughly making me want to stamp on it? Okay, (2/5)

WHITE RABBITS - ‘While We Go Dancing’ (single, Fierce Panda)
This is dark and light battling on stage in a delicate war that proves both winners since no matter which way this segues, from the brash shining chorus to the dusky verses with their tentative vocals. It’s been some time that NYC produced intelligent music but when it does it seems a whole slew is thrown up. While Vampire Weekend might be currently hogging the limelight, White Rabbits are by far the more interesting and rounded as artists. (4/5)

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BECAUSE THIS EXCITES US MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE RIGHT NOW. WE COULDN'T DECIDE ON WHETHER TO SHOW YOU WHERE IT ALL BEGAN OR DO THE SEQUEL WITH ITS ACE 'WE ARE THE WORLD' PASTICHE. MAYBE NEXT TIME...

Music:

IT'S THE MIGHTY BOOSH!

********************************************* Bands we've covered - Good Shoes, Simian Mobile Disco, Silversun Pickups, Enter Shikari, The Rapture, Mystery Jets, Cutting Pink With Knives, Look See Proof, Crystal Castles, Goose, The Bronx, Klaxons, The Killers, Dirty Pretty Things, Young Knives, The Presets, Kings of Leon, The Futureheads, Bloc Party, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, The Horrors, Jamie T, The Holloways, Panic! At The Disco, Clap Your Hands Say Yeah!, The View, LCD Soundsystem, Pete Doherty, Franz Ferdinand, Yourcodenameis:Milo, My Chemical Romance, Maximo Park, Hadouken!, Lostprophets, The Gossip, The Noisettes, Razorlight, Hot Hot Heat, The Enemy, Foals, Kate Nash, Late Of The Pier, Friendly Fires, The Used, Nine Inch Nails, Aiden + so much more!

Movies:

No one cares to recall the last film they saw, quite possibly cos it was something very very uncool.

Television:

WE ARE BRINGING THIS TO LIFE AND YOU WILL BE ABLE TO SEE IT IN 2007! BUT AS WITH EVERYTHING DISORDER-Y, WE WANT YOU INVOLVED!

GET IN TOUCH AND TELL US. OR TELL US WHAT YOU WANNA SEE ON DISORDER TV!

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Books:

I can't be arsed writing anymore.

Heroes:

What the fuck do you want us to say here? God? Okay, our mums and dads, our lovers and our friends. All of whom are beautiful and have infinite patience, bless their wobbly bits. We are media, they love us despite this crippling fact.