Scott Derenger, ShaveYourHead.com

About Me

I'm a comedian, a writer and a bald guy. I love the CUBS. So much so I actually got a job at Wrigley Field. I've been working as a waiter in the Wrigley suites for 5 years. During the 2006 season I recorded an Old Style commercial for WGN radio and also had a monthly column in the Cubs magazine, Vine Line.
A few more things ...
I lick my Q-tips before I use them.
I taught country line dancing.
My first live concert was Paula Abdul with 'Color Me Bad' opening.
I have a tattoo.
I ran outta gas. Twice. Both times while working at a gas station.
I wore braces. My teeth are still crooked. I'm thinking about getting them again. That's a self-inflicted cockblock for a single male.
Anything else you wanna know - see pics, read stories, including my published humor columns - check out ...
www.ShaveYourHead.com. Click here to check it out!!!
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My Interests

... and, your friendly neighborhood ...

Click to listen to my never-played-because-it's-too-honest-Old Style-commercial. Fuck 'em. Still got paid.
Old Style/Cubs

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I'd like to meet:

People who like to laugh and don't take life too seriously.Larry David and anyone involved with HBO's 'Curb Your Enthusiasm'.'Pardon the Interruption's' Tony Kornheiser, recently added as analyst on ESPN's Monday Night Football. Hmmm. Who else? Alyssa Milano; she covered my walls when I was 12. I was the Boss, Samantha Micelli.

Music:

I tour the world as a standup comedian. Please click on the CD cover to BUY IT NOW! Thanks.

Click on the CD cover to BUY IT NOW!!!

Movies:

I saw Blue Man Group in '05. I asked this guy to kiss my head, and he did. When I went to bed I thought his kiss was so cool, not gay, but cool. I awoke in the morning, looked at my sheets, and thought I'd raped a Smurf. And for you idiots who think only bald guys can be in Blue Man, they wear painted masks, douchebags. But I guess being bald would help, too.
Just a funny shot, drinking a beer in Arizona with my buddy's dog, Bentley, looking on. Nice pillow penis, no?
What can I say? They love me.
What this MySpace page lacks in flashy background shit and catchy tunes I hope it more than makes up for in 'What the fuck is that?' pictures. Yep, that's me, all tan and buff in 1997. Before comedy. And well before ShaveYourHead.com was thought of. I know what you're saying, "Nice photoshopping, douchebag." Bullshit, jealous pricks. Check out more shots, if you can stomach them that is, in the Baldy for Life section on ShaveYourHead.com
I'd like to think I have a good eye for pictures. Maddux got the win this night as the sun set on a yet another's Cubs victory, the 'W' flag blowing in the crisp spring air of Wrigleyville.

Heroes:

Our first show was in Kuwait in a cafeteria.
I was a long way from sweet home Chicago.
This was our first of many flight crews on Blackhawk helicopters while in Iraq.
Before our first Blackhawk flight with comedians Lamar Williams, Tom Foss, Steve Burr and executive director of 'Comics on Duty' Rich Davis. April, 2005. Tallil Air Base, Camp Adder, Iraq.
No, I will never grow up. Camp Anaconda, Iraq.
In case you thought I was kidding above.
Believe me now?
Okay, so I actually shot a real machine gun, two different ones actually.
At a hospital show. My twin was there, too.
The Nine FM shirt got a lot of plugs in Iraq.
"So I took her like this." Wondering what the shirt means in Arabic?
Here you go. This show was atop, not inside like others, but atop a gym.
With Steve Burr and two injured soldiers at Camp Anaconda.
It's all about boosting morale, right? Or whatever needs a boost. This soldier made time while getting an I-V to read Jenna Jameson's 'How to Make Love Like a Porn Star.'
This sign was put up as I got on base.
But I guess it was okay to have while in the air or when you're hurt.
Solider actually wanted my autograph. It's worth $.02 on e-Bay.
At Camp Echo, Iraq, another cafeteria show. It was a coalition show, Polish forces joined the Americans, and didn't undertstand anything we had to say.
Members of the Illinois National Guard.
Michelle (L) and Callie. I first met Michelle at a show in Montana like 4 years ago. Very nice to see her again in Iraq, some thousands away from both our homes.
Soldiers manned machine guns on either side of the Blackhawks whenever we were in flight. This is in northern Iraq.
At a 3,000-year-old temple in southern Iraq near the birthplace of the prophet Abraham.
Keepin' ShaveYourHead.com - and America - goin' strong!
We did shows in gyms, cafeterias, on top of gyms, on top of 18-wheelers, in hospitals, in theaters, in palaces.
Captain Rodney Freeman (L) and Captain Josh Stiltner.
NO SMOKING. Unless it's not in the form of a cigarette. Cocoa Puffs rock!
This is the lovely Rachel. Wanna know more about her? Make time to read this outrageous story about my desert heartbreak.
I'm telling these soldiers about the Rachel story from the night before.
Some great guys from the New England area.
Our final show outside Mosul, Iraq.
After nearly 2 weeks of eating meatloaf, pizza, chicken wings, sausage and eggs, and ice cream sundaes, I was in my second tri-mester.
Closing out the tour with a celebratory cigar.
Our first taste of alcohol in 2 weeks at Franfurt, German's Int'l Airport.

My Blog

Playboys, you cant hide from me!

A tequila shot to celebrate the Giants win over the Patriots in Super Bowl XXII. I finally find what I've been lookin' for, Bono. My final night in Little Rock. Alone in the comedy condo. ...
Posted by Scott Derenger, ShaveYourHead.com on Tue, 05 Feb 2008 11:18:00 PST

Smoke pot but not salty nuts?

Jenni(L) and Carolyn from Saturday's late show.&nbsp; I bought them drinks which they ended up paying for. My time in the land of Bald Knobs and Little Rocks nears the end. It's Super Bowl Sun...
Posted by Scott Derenger, ShaveYourHead.com on Sun, 03 Feb 2008 02:28:00 PST

The Meat Man Cometh

Today's Daily Derenger A lovely trio from University of Central Arkansas. Sadly, I only remember the blonde's name, Amber. I met them at The Chad Daniels Show last week. Last night they came to open m...
Posted by Scott Derenger, ShaveYourHead.com on Thu, 31 Jan 2008 10:12:00 PST

Peeing with a blind guy

Today's Daily Derenger There was also a sign that read "Weiner Bowling Champion." Insert any number of jokes here. Anne and her brothers, along with Dallas-area friends came to my show last Frid...
Posted by Scott Derenger, ShaveYourHead.com on Wed, 30 Jan 2008 12:12:00 PST

Daisy Dukes, cleavage for a pocket, WWJD?

To see more pictures and read the captions and the other bullshit I wrote, check it out:http://www.shaveyourhead.com/journal.shtml Thanks! -scott derengerwww.ShaveYourHead.com...
Posted by Scott Derenger, ShaveYourHead.com on Wed, 23 Jan 2008 10:41:00 PST

Cubs Convention, mystery DNA, bikini contest!!!

Today's Daily Derenger Cubs Tv broadasters Len Casper (R) and Bob Brenly join the band as part of 'Len and Bob's Bash' at Chicago's House of Blue last Thurday night, kicking off the 23rd Cubs Conventi...
Posted by Scott Derenger, ShaveYourHead.com on Wed, 23 Jan 2008 05:05:00 PST

Wanna fuck a clown?

Today's Daily Derenger Clown sex, whiskey tables, Scott Derenger fans.Drivel from the Dining Room The Bulls are kicking some serious Heat ass. Most of you don't care. Some of you don't kno...
Posted by Scott Derenger, ShaveYourHead.com on Thu, 17 Jan 2008 07:27:00 PST

A hot Asian sensation and hot Italian meat logs.

Today's Daily Derenger Sometimes they just can't get enough. At Victor's after Thursday night's show. All 20-something student teachers. Bad, bad girls. Wow. Ummm. Wow. 21 and engaged. She's young so ...
Posted by Scott Derenger, ShaveYourHead.com on Tue, 15 Jan 2008 11:00:00 PST

Sober standup? What the F&*K!!!

Today's Daily Derenger Some comedy fans from Saturday night. I only had a few beers so I should know their names. We even danced with them till last call at Buckhead's in downtown Milwaukee. Bad Scott...
Posted by Scott Derenger, ShaveYourHead.com on Sun, 13 Jan 2008 11:58:00 PST

A spiked pleasure stick, ginseng coffee, Milwaukee comedy.

Today's Daily Derenger Is that a spiked pleasure stick beside your inner thigh or you just happy to see me? Another fan from Michigan used a prop while wearing my JUST SHAVE IT panties. Who know...
Posted by Scott Derenger, ShaveYourHead.com on Thu, 10 Jan 2008 10:01:00 PST