Jeremy - ProfilesArchive

About Me

.. width="425" height="350" ..Friendly, funny, charming, nice hair erm - that's it!!!!But not some foppy lame indie gimp even though i may look like one (maybe I can't come to terms with it). That . i Have a pair of Saxon sweatbands which I wear with pride, even to bed! I'm often found at work palying along (imaginarily) to the keyboard solo from van halen's JUMP on my computer ... with ONE hand mind you, then two for when the chords come back in again.
please before you read th following i am not as loud as my page suggests the following is just thoughts and rantings. i am actually fairly quiet and just because there are a number of ladies on my page doesn't mean i am some sort of 'playa' as the youth put it. i have no-one chasing me or gentle strolling behind me or stalking me (the last one i am glad i don't have).
HAIR - MAHOGANY
EYES - BETTIE DAVIS
EARS - JOAN CRAWFORD
NOSE - FOR A BARGIN
MUSCLES - LIKE BRUSSEL (SPROUTS)
MAKE UP - KISS AND
SILBLINGS - 1 RIVAL
FACE - VALUE
HANDS - KNEES AND A WHOOPSIDAZY
SHOES - OUR SOLES
LEGS - I KNOW HOW TO USE THEM
HANDS - ON DECK
FEET - WEBBED (jk)
UNDERPANTS - JEAN MICHELLE JARRE
OUTLOOK - HAZY
I do not spook easily and people should stop with their 'surprise attacks'. If you wanna be my lover - you gotta get with my friends. Disillusioned with life in general! I don't weigh much. Oh I don't know ask me some questions then you'll know more. I want one of those keyboards you wear like a guitar! I also have a watch with so many big jewels inbedded in it the hands cant move round!
'Michael get this neanderthal off my bonnet'.I go up to 11!!!!!!!!! I invented to internet also. I am a part time weightlifter (of paperweitghts) I know my proverbs.
I HAVE MANY ISSUES........................... (of Rolling Stone magazine) Who let the dogs out - it was me! The Baha Men were keeping them in terrible conditions so I let them go - I got to free the animals and they got a worldwide smash hit. Everybodies happy!!!I wish we all lived in a 1970 carry on film. 'PRHWOOOOOAAARRR'!
I was not too cool for school I got my education before becoming cool so I always have something to fall back on.
. Whos that gigalo on the street with his hands in his pocket and his crocodile feet - oh shit it's my dad! I make spaz faces at people in the street when they annoy me by getting in my way etc. but secretly i hope that someone sees me make the face and i have made them laugh when they see me do it.
I am also good at countdown. (what does happen when the countdown clock goes PAST 30 seconds - why have the other half of the clock at all???). I look like i've just stepped out of a salon - or should that be saloon? Maybe it's Maybeleen - maybe its' not! They should be more specific. I also like crazy golf and mazes & PENNY ARCADES & POUND ARCADES. I like castles and have been in Buckingham palace twice now as i needed the toilet in the middle of london and that was the nearest place. I'm also a secret lemonade drinker.
I have two hands that i use on a daily basis.
When i dream I dream of you. I try to be nice to people but it seems to get me nowhere. I have long eyelashes on my eyes. I'm a private dancer. I like slides (the playground things not the photography kind). Crisps and tea! and toast and tea and tea and tea. I like 10 pin bowling STRIKER!
also know that on the millenium Eye there is a lever to speed it up which important people like Henry Kelly, Paula Abdul and Mike Smith get to push and it then acts like a very fast ferris wheel. I like comedy.
I would like to see pogo sticks bought back into fashion.
I would also like to sue Uri Geller for making my watch stop in 1987 (it hasn't worked since - I am currently learning mind tricks so i can break something of his of equal value).
I like the smell of petrol. I like walks in the park and the beach but not parks by the beach as i get confused. I like the feeling i get when Bullseye comes on the TV. I Like walkie talkies (that's talking to people whilst walking not the 80's communication devices.
Devilishly sexy young man (not my words - the words of Jimbob from Carter USM). Full Time Dreamer. Single. I believe children are our future. I believe I can fly......by aeroplane. Fed up. i will not be pushed, filed, stamped, indexed, breifed, debriefed or numbered - my life is my own! WHO'S BAD? - I'M BAD!.. width="425" height="350" ..

My Interests

Pop culture, television, film, Music, DANCING, retracing my childhood, Buying shit off ebay, making T SHIRTS and collecting them, PLaystation 2, retro stuff, music videos, Michael Winner, keeping it real, SCREWBALL SCRAMBLE, making money.

I'd like to meet:

other people who are easily talked into joining up websites. someone who's a bit stupid. no people called jed though. SHITTY ZOMBIES!
People who work on a sex farm. SuperTroopers. Super Best friends, someone who can turn water into wine.Dolly Parton . Someone who has actually built a city on rock and roll. Someone to use my buy one meal get one free token with. Someone to duet with me on kareoke (i must point out I don't actually do kareoke). That tiger that mauled Roy. magicians assistants. Sex people (this is the ref to Partridge btw).
THe inventor of the hovercraft. Graham Lister. That policeman from allo allo. Officer Crabtree. 99 red balloons. Brian Blessed. People who can turn back time (not Cher). Rich people. Uri Geller. People who've learnt their lesson. Simon Says (whoever he may be). A judge with a grudge and a little bit of fudge. Kate Moss. Wrestlers.
Anyone who thinks that bit on SESAME STREET where they had that pinball machine counting up to 12 was really cool. People who remember 'Look and Read'. I NEED A NEW DANCING PARTNER!
Someone to go to Carboot sales and markets with. Captain Birdseye to see if he does have the eye of the brid (that would explain how he is able to catch all those fish from the sea -'ARRRRH THERE BE ONE NOW'). Julie Christie. Pearl & Dean. Girls from the wrong side of town. Girls from the right side of town. A girl.
Don't care if u like the same music as me or not or anything else really as long as you can make me laugh a bit. Im also a bit more quiet in real life than this page suggests so don't be scared! and SOMEONE WHO CAN EQUALLY ENJOY WATCHING 'THE HAMMER HOUSE OF HORROR' 80S TV SERIES WITH ME AND GIGGLE AT THE CHEAP AND TACKINESS OF IT BUT ALSO IMAGINE WHAT THEY WOULD DO IF THEY WERE IN THE SITUATION THAT THE CHARACTERS IN THE HORROR WERE IN. OR IF YOU LIKE THAT SONG 'CENTREFOLD' BY J GELIS BAND. someone not unstable and someone not in a stable. . Feel free to contact me but don't just ADD ME a friend as i would hate to be forced to judge you before i know you.

Music:

These animal men, Primal Scream, Chemical Brothers, supergrass, Bowie, The Who, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Mash Ups/Bootlegs, 80's Cock Rock, DAFT PUNK, Blondie, stellastarr, junior senior, stone roses, white stripes, blood valley, charlatnas, lemon jelly, doves, polyphonic spree, KASABIAN, the arcade fire, the walkmen, ash, new order, rolling stones, at the drive in, Kings of leon, the killers, 80's matchbox b-line disaster, shampoo, Tegan & Sara, Stars, Clor, The Go! Team, Futureheads, Maximo Park, Bloc Party, Iron Maiden, The Dears, Beck, Prince, Marion, White Rose Movement, 2 Many Dj'sindie, bit punk/hard, ANT 'N' DEC. Starship. Bee Gees (you win again! - indeed i do Mr Gibb you cannot beat me!), INTERPOL, Elvis. Diana Ross. Mansun, Duran Duran, Spiritualized, Verve, Neil Diamond, Bob Dylan, Blur, Pulp, Death in Vegas, Queen (RIP Freddie!), Badly Drawn Boy, ABBA, Issac Hayes. Anything if it's got a good beat that i can do the running man to!!.. width="425" height="350" .... width="425" height="350" .... width="425" height="350" ..

Movies:

Time Bandits, wicker man, villain, get carter, spinal tap, Funny Bones, charlie and the chocolate factory, superman II, tron, fight club, cinema paradiso, the long good friday, dirty harry, national lampoons european vacation, carry on abroad, DIGBY THE BIGGEST DOG IN THE WORLD (you think that Digby's dead at the end 'He's not! The antedote worked!!!!!!!!!), taxi driver, all the childrens film foundation films, Flash Gordon, kung fu flix, showgirls, cobra, BATMAN (60's one), masters of the universe. hammer horror films, Tango & Cash. The Boys from brazil. back passage to india

Television:

Television - Takeshi's Castle, Family guy, space 1999, , simpsons, spaced, prisoner, sealab 2021, ALAN 'YES IT's AN EXTENDER' PARTRIDGE, avengers, reality tv shows, doctor who, BULLSEYE, it's a knockout (the old one), some mothers do 'ave 'em, bargin hunt, eurovision, cartoons, allo allo. Anything where there is a murder in it and you have to solve who did it (apart from Columbo) Americas dumbest outrageous transvestite serial killers in car crashes caught on camera. Street hawk, Cheaters. columbo, 3-2-1, grand designs, little britain, question time, harry hill, blakes 7, manimal. Prisoner Cell Block H. He-man/she-ra. When good times go bad!, Flipside, THE MIGHTY BOOSH, programmes where i get to see people who think they are brill get humiliated (pop idol, big brother etc) my new faves are the apprentice and the apprentice USA and the apprentice ubekestan and the x factor.. width="425" height="350" ..

Books:

There is too much tv to watch!Even Tim Henman said books are boring and look at him!!and he's A BALLGIRL BASHER!, and I DO judge books by their covers mainly picture and price.

Heroes:

Good song by Bowie what do i win? . Nigel Tuffnal. David Dickinson. bATMAn. Stephen 'The Hawk' Hawkings! Kenny Everet, Spike milligan, Les Dawson, Peter Sellers, General Zod, David Croft & Jeremy Lloyd, Ted Rogers, Monty Phython, Tommy Vance, Vic Reeves, The Dynamite Kid, Harry Hill, TERRANCE STAMP! Greg Dyke AND THIS MAN IN THE ORANGE (WAIT 30 secs)! Everyone should have a moment like this. .. width="425" height="350" ..

My Blog

Dreams

Last night i dreamt i was flying a helicoptor with Tim Burgess???? what does this mean?
Posted by Jeremy on Mon, 07 Nov 2005 04:24:00 PST

i've been told off :(

At work i've been told that my feet are making too much noise on my footrest - the casue of this being me moving and foot shaking to AC/DC on my headphones.
Posted by Jeremy on Fri, 14 Oct 2005 05:08:00 PST

Pervert Jerry

Today i went to go and get the rubbish bin back into our yard. I stepped outside in the dark walked towards the back gate and low and behold froze upon the site of my next door neighbour having a show...
Posted by Jeremy on Mon, 03 Oct 2005 03:05:00 PST

Meetings

Today in my meeting at work I carved the word 'shit' and 'U smell' into my polestyrene cup and nudged Adam next to me and tried to show him to make him laugh. I then starred at the table and wondered ...
Posted by Jeremy on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

shoes

I bought some shoes the other week and they were killing me so i put the shoe that was hurting ym foot in hot water to stretch it. the next day though when i wore them to brighton it had changed colou...
Posted by Jeremy on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Buried treasure

Last week i bought a metal detector to go round my green and find some buried treasure to fund my crisp habit. I walked around waiting to hear that magic bleep bleep bleep. Then after and hour and 23 ...
Posted by Jeremy on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

mmmm

Where am i? In the interweb "What do you want?" information "Whose side are you on?" That would be telling, we want information, information, information. "You won't get it." "By hook...
Posted by Jeremy on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

SNACKS

I have invented a new snack to eat at luchtimes. Get 2 pieces of bread butter one side of each of the slices, then geta slice of cheese and put the cheese ontop of one of the buttered pieces of bread ...
Posted by Jeremy on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

cup of tea

Today i managed to drop a pound coin into my cup of tea. I then spent 10minutes trying to fish it out with a plastic spoon but with no luck. But then I thought I will rise above this and instead I wil...
Posted by Jeremy on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Spam spam spam spam

Why do I keep getting these spam emails telling me how to get a penis enlargement? When are they goign to send me one on how to reduce the size of my penis that would be very helpful for me!
Posted by Jeremy on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST