Stuff that isn't sheizer:
guitar, cello, jazz, snowboarding, swimming, soccer, foreign language, Brazil, cognitive science, physics, animation, vernal equinoctial egg balancing (see photo), travel, the overpopulation problem, anything apple-cinnamon, staring out airplane windows (see photos), the cereal aisle at the supermaket, Henry Rollins' neck
People who get my movie references.
People I can learn from.
Music that doesn't sound like sheizer (or does so intentionally):
Jazz: Parker, Dizzy, Mingus, Montgomery, Metheny, Gateway, etc.
Bossa Nova: Jobim, João Gilberto, Getz, etc.
Hard stuff: Tool, Pantera, pre-black-album Metallica, Meshuggah, Ministry
Misc: Zappa, Primus, Rush, Chili Peppers, Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan, Esquivel!, Portishead, Stereolab, Danny Elfman, Captain Beefheart, Tom Waits, Fela Kuti, Gogol Bordello . . .
Movies involving talking sheizer, and:
Shawshank Redemption, 12 Monkeys, Back to the Future, Matrix, Office Space, Army of Darkness, Men In Black, Coming to America / Trading Places, Pee-Wee's Big Adventure, South Park, Happy Gilmore / Billy Madison, The Princess Bride, City Of God, Adaptation, and of course:
"I'm giving you a choice: either put on these glasses, or start eating that trash can."
"Not this year."
(No witty sheizer comment here):
I have a tv, but now and then I disconnect it to prevent myself from passively falling on the couch and accidentally hitting the remote. It's quite invigorating living life outside the confines of 30 minute blocks -- and commerical free to boot.
Still, there's:
Mythbusters, Arrested Development, South Park, Jackass, Trigger Happy TV, Insomniac, Family Guy, Mr. Show, Seinfeld, The State, X-files (the good years), Simpsons (once upon a time)
Books I wouldn't use to wipe my sheizer:
Gödel Escher Bach (Hofstadster), The User Illusion (Norretranders), The Catcher in the Rye (Salinger), Heart of Darkness (Conrad), The Phantom Tollbooth (Juster), Roald Dahl stuff, Calvin & Hobbes
"The Twister" from Hamilton Deli.