About Me
You nosey fucks!! .... and let the rumors begin!!
I don't beat around the bush; I jump in them... face first... w/ my tongue out. I judge and compare trees as if I were a squirrel thinking, "Which tree should I climb." I crumple, as oppose to fold, when I wipe. My handwriting is most legible when I'm laying on my bed with a fine tip pen and 3 pieces of college rule binder paper underneath my active piece. I record shop two, sometimes, three times a week, and I'm running out of room. For years, I would pour the milk in the bowl, before the cereal, and attempt to drown each flake, ball, oat, charm, berry, pebble, granola, and/or O with my spoon until each and every flake, ball, oat, charm, berry, pebble, granola, and/or O is wet. Then, I would proceed to sprinkle nestle quik making every bowl of cereal chocolaty. I'm good with parents, really good with parents that speak English, and great with parents who except eyebrow rings. I absolutely love deep cuddles. I have and will spontaneously jump into the frozen food section at a grocery store, and/or dive into a pile of clothing in Costco. I am very patient, however, impatient when it comes to rude customer service, traffic (when in a hurry) skipping cds, slow computers, long stop lights, and automated services. I can ride a unicycle. I am not too fond of astrology, but I am a very proud Virgo. I was in the chess club, however, the fact that our meetings took place at lunch and in the library, where the windows overlooked the basketball courts, hindered my motivation to exceed in this truly unnecessary lunchtime extracurricular activity. I dance a lil.... shieet!! I can easily say that I got some ping in my pong. One of my best friends, who I've known since Kindergarten, used to live in this apartment complex, about four blocks and one railroad track away from where I live currently, and we used to train with this old man who used to play in tournaments and loved wearing Hawaiian shirts and bleached khakis and wore an elbow strap that always clashed. Although his clothing never matched, he too had some ping in his pong and this lonely, yet giving, man kindly trained, my friend and I, on how to execute striking the ball with plain wooden paddles, giving the maximum amount of top-spin with the least amount of rubber. Now, I can easily say that when I hit, and use a rubber.... my balls feel sooooo much better. I played the piano for 7+ years. Since my mom is an accountant, I reconcile my bank statement every month... to the cent. I pay $12 a month to have the freedom to take a poop in any 24 Hour Fitness I want. You might not believe this, but I learned how to ride a bike on a bike with only one pedal... I swear!! I love starting lotion fights on roadtrips. I'm right handed but my left is not to be underestimated. My favorite number is the ..2... not crowded; nor is it lonely. If I drink milk, it's like Niagara Falls out of my ass. I got my juggling certificate in the 4th grade, but I'm not very entertaining when it comes to bowling pins, knives, or anything of that motion. My pager code is 8121. I looooooooove a good, looooong, NUT..........., but I despise peanuts. (Bet you took that the wrong way- didn't you?!)(Actually, you didn't.) I have recently came to the conclusion that a pack of cigarettes smells like a pack of raisins- seriously! Try it and lemme know. I used to paint over the dirty white parts of my shoes w/ White Out, thinking it would look good, but it never really did. I still don't know the difference between the living room and the family room. I've lived in the same house for 27 years and was born about 7 blocks away, so I'm a pretty stable guy. The farthest I've moved is from upstairs to downstairs.... and back upstairs. To me, one of the best sounds in the world is the ding of a microwave. My two favorites words to see or hear are FREE and BUFFET. I, often, think about filling up a super soaker w/ vinegar and visiting a couple of my old jobs. I would love to eat a bunch of weed, leave my poop out in the sun, and pass the product out as a weed brownie....still thinking...
