Bastardo Serioso profile picture

Bastardo Serioso

donut-hole wrangler, cream-puff strangler

About Me

I enjoy hunting hipster kids for sport, I am the proud owner of a handsome collection of greasy emo-boy scalps, and I like to kick back and relax on my luxuriously pungent bed of goth-girl pelts.

Lately, I have been working on my magnum opus, titled, "Gayded: Too Gay To Be Straight, Too Jaded To Be Gay." It'll be out in hardback this winter, just in time for Christmas.

I bet that I know what you are guessing that I know--and you are right! Yes, I like to make picture-books. Here is a sample of a story (sans balloons) published in Mighty John Mallet's "33%" Columbus comic collection:

Here is one of my sweet draw-rings. It's a self portrait, titled "Women".

Oh yeah, drawing is for dorks! I am a dork and here is another one of my recent drawings. It's in charcoal and it's a guitar, which is really dorky!

My Interests

Making pictures for my pleasure, tweaking twangy things, flicking balls with flippers, banging on boxes with brushes, studying the intricacies of the international financial system.

Somethin' nifty for the kids:

I'd like to meet:

A hooker with a heart of gold, legs of silver, hair of platinum, abs of steel, sides of iron, and two red cents to rub together in her pocket.

Music:

Moondog.

Movies:

Thunderbolt and Lightfoot.

Television:

Fishing with John.

Books:

H Empirikh Mnhmnh Tou Aimatos - Vassilis Vassilikos.

Heroes:

Gyros.

My Blog

Circle-Jerk of Life

Earlier today I was trying to make a rather selfish, yet totally justified left-hand turn into heavy rush-hour traffic from a small access road leading out of a mall. After about 20-30 seconds of not ...
Posted by Bastardo Serioso on Tue, 29 Apr 2008 10:22:00 PST

Four Is Eleven

Whilst cornered in casual conversation earlier this evening at a local bar, I found myself making the statements, "There is nothing weird in the world." and "I do not believe that anything is strange....
Posted by Bastardo Serioso on Sun, 06 Apr 2008 03:48:00 PST

Gray-Grey Gri-Gri

Nothing spectacular, here, just another sketch, done a little earlier today. This was a quick brush pen sketch, with a bit of pencil underneath, and marker. This drawing represents my first, feeble at...
Posted by Bastardo Serioso on Sun, 30 Mar 2008 06:39:00 PST

Dies Irae, Nova Orleana

Earlier this evening I suffered a sudden, near-fatal brain embolism that, upon unblocking itself, resulted in the decision to drive to the Columbus suburb of Dublin, Ohio--home of beefy Wendy's hambur...
Posted by Bastardo Serioso on Tue, 18 Dec 2007 11:37:00 PST

Ooh, I’m So Drawn to Big Muscles

Alright, here's another boring drawing. This is a finished panel that I did in February or March. It was the last thing that I did in this style before deciding that I needed to explore a different av...
Posted by Bastardo Serioso on Mon, 03 Dec 2007 04:31:00 PST

Artfartistry

Another quick sketch, done yesterday with brush pen. After hanging out with buddy Seth Frail at the MidOhioCon and looking at his masterful brush pen work, I became convinced that I've been wandering ...
Posted by Bastardo Serioso on Tue, 27 Nov 2007 08:11:00 PST

The Most Boring Blog That I Have Ever Posted.

So, it occured to me that, not only have I done nothing of artistic significance this year, but that I have been neglecting my duties as a Myspace patron, as well. Here are two quick sketches that sho...
Posted by Bastardo Serioso on Wed, 21 Nov 2007 07:37:00 PST

Scenic Columbus, Ohio.

Ah, scenic Columbus, Ohio. Heart of it All, as the travel brochures say. I've given you ten years of my life you flat-breasted bitch of a city, but hey, at least you have an awesome, rockin' music and...
Posted by Bastardo Serioso on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Goodbye, Super Duper Weenie

Thanks to all my brief friends on the Gold Coast of CT. Most of all, thanks to L. and M.; for love, friendship, cadavers, and Super Duper Weenies.
Posted by Bastardo Serioso on Sun, 20 May 2007 09:51:00 PST

Triploschizophrenicoholic

Hat Trick:- Went for a run with a friend a couple of weeks ago. Just crossed the finish line and found out I'm a lot slower than they are.- Talked to a friend a couple of days ago about the immortal q...
Posted by Bastardo Serioso on Thu, 17 Aug 2006 12:55:00 PST