[ Chris ] - ProfilesArchive

About Me

Big changes are coming in my art-output, but if you're thinking you need posters or CD artwork, click this for a very small sample of my work, check me out on
It's a lot harder to describe myself than I thought it would be. I'm 147 years old... Graphic designer, video producer, Mac geek since day one, Photoshop geek since version 1.0 (No Layers!), general misanthrope. Punk since '84, although I don't really wear the costume anymore, and I've broadened my musical horizons considerably over the years. Roughly half of the words out of my mouth probably fall into the "smartass" category... which is kind of weird, considering how shy I am. I like all kinds of things... movies, music, books, puppies, sunsets, fluffy things... See? Smartass. Coffee. I like coffee. By "like", I mean without a good 40 oz or so by 10am, people's lives are in danger. I don't mean danger like I'm crabby, I mean danger like I'm Jeffery Dahmer in a burning coma ward. O.k... Look. I'm not going to sit here and type every last thing I think is cool, wanna know something? Feel free to ask.

My Interests

World Domination, Improvised Weapons, Biphasic Conditioning, Brainwashing... I mean model railroads, I like the little trains. And kittens. Oh... I also like rainbows, clowns, and tiny ceramic figurines. Seriously... I like all kinds of shit. Just don't bore me.

I'd like to meet:

Are you damaged? Interesting? Tortured? Weird? In need of posters for your band? Psychotic? Bored? Deranged? It's not that I want to have a first class cabin on the voyage of the damned, that's just who my peer group has always been... If you're one of the above, and we both know you are, drop me a line...

Music:

I didn't talk to my parents for a week when they wouldn't let me go see The Clash in 1982 on The Who farewell tour... The fact that I was 11 was beside the point. So... the Clash, The Ramones, Sex Pistols, Johnny Cash, Social Distortion, The Cramps, The Damned, Dick Dale, Link Wray, The Dickies, The Minutemen, Monster Magnet, The Atomic Bitchwax, Kyuss... Oh fuck it. Without sounding like one of those dorks who likes everything, I'll just say that I like old punk, old country, surf, old alternative, new metal, industrial, hardcore, techno (not the shitty 300 bpm stuff), sporadic hip hop stuff, ska, polka (which is just demented eastern european ska), etc. If you looked through the 6,000 songs on my iPod, you'd think I was insane.

Movies:

Clockwork Orange, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, Straight to Hell, Replacement Killers, The 36th Chamber of Shaolin, 8 Diagram Pole Fighter, 5 Deadly Venoms, Roadside Prophets, Grosse Point Blank, Office Space, Full Metal Jacket, All of Tarantino's flicks, Evil Dead I,II, & III; Bubba Ho-tep, Magnificent 7, High Plains Drifter, The Wild Bunch, Bloodsucking Freaks, Night of the Living Dead, Bad Taste, Snatch, Lock, Stock, & 2 Smoking Barrels; King of New York, Bad Lieutenant, Usual Suspects, Dogtown Z Boys, Ichi The Killer, Wave Twisters, Donnie Darko, Ghost World... etc.

Television:

Young Ones, Get a Life, South Park, Law & Order, CSI, Dead Like Me, X Files, Deadwood, Sopranos... Secretly, I dig Trading Spaces.

Books:

I read all kinds of books. Favorite books include: Anything by Douglas Adams, Schrodinger's Cat, Illuminatus Trilogy, Historical Illuminatus Trilogy, Reality is What You Can Get Away With, Confederacy of Dunces, Geek Love, Anything by Henry Rollins, American Psycho, The 48 Laws of Power, Devil's Knot... My War: Killing Time In Iraq by Colby Buzzel... blah, blah, blah...

Heroes:

Joe Strummer, Henry Rollins, Joey Ramone, Robert Anton Wilson, Norm Berg...

My Blog

Attention Potential MySpace Friends...

Hi there... I've gotten some really weird friend requests lately. Let me just clear up a few things ahead of time, and save you the hassle of getting denied...1. I'm actually almost 35. I'm not some 1...
Posted by [ Chris ] on Sat, 13 May 2006 01:06:00 PST

Like a prostate exam...

So, I figured I should get a post in here before it's actually been a whole year between them. Same old shit... mostly. I actually can't complain about much. My girlfriend rules. My job is lame, but d...
Posted by [ Chris ] on Fri, 23 Sep 2005 07:40:00 PST

Oh yeah...

I said I was going to write in this thing didn't I? Well, it's not like anybody is reading it anyway, right? I mean my default friend Tom doesn't even talk to me. Why do you all hate me? Sorry. That w...
Posted by [ Chris ] on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

BLAH BLAH BLAHBITTY BLAH.

Mostly, I'm doing this to kill time at work. I've become efficient enough at my job that I really only need to be here about 3 hours a day... Unfortunately, that means I have to look busy to the casua...
Posted by [ Chris ] on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST