Union of Classy Broads ~ Local 169

About Me

Union of Classy Broads
~ Local 169
As a fully democratic, militant working-class association of boozer women, The Union of Classy Broads, Local 169 has successfully avoided the corruption and bureaucracy that have crippled unions throughout history. This could be because we believe our fight is a good fight, and we proudly lead the struggle so that the right to free booze for all working-class drunks will someday be realized. Or maybe itâ€™s because weâ€™re too loaded to notice when people try to corrupt us.
Although some of our members believe that concessions are popcorn, candy bars and soda pop, weâ€™re still adamant in our stance that we will not give in to deals with the ruling beer makers, otherwise know as the bourgeoisie.
The revolutionary beginnings of the Union of Classy Broads, Local 169 can be traced back to March of 2004 at the Gold Coast Casino in fabulous Las Vegas. It was there where a group of women with questionable morals, day-old mascara, a lot of Aqua Net, a couple falsies and a Natural Bra tipped back a few too many. There were spankings, tabletop dancing, a very happy security guy, and a couple Doo-Wop singers with devious twinkles in their eyes, but thatâ€™s all we can remember.
Our demands are simple:
WHAT DO WE WANT?
FREE BOOZE!
WHEN DO WE WANT IT?
NOW!
We also demand paid time off for hangovers and over-time pay for work that interrupts our drinking.
The Union of Classy Broads, Local 169 invites you, working-class boozer sisters, to join us in our righteous struggle. Weâ€™re waitresses, hairdressers, office workers, pissed off, laid off women who canâ€™t find jobs, and women in all shapes, sizes and colors. What we have in common is that beyond our red lipstick and pretty perfume, we reek of whiskey, we sometimes have to shave our teeth in the morning, and weâ€™re tired of spending all our hard earned cash at the bar and corner market.
FREE BOOZE NOW! DRUNKS OF THE WORLD UNITE!
Founding Members:
Ophelia Heyman (pronounced Hi-Man) - The Negotiator
Loosie LeTwat (the final T is silent)- Comrade Chair
Hootie McBoob - The Naughty Secretary
Vulva Glasscock - PR

My Interests

Well, what else... free booze - geesh!

I'd like to meet:

The classiest classy broads! Membership is restricted to just those ever so classy gals!....oh and guys. We have created a men's auxiliary to honor the few males that think they can outdrink us! Good luck fellas!

We raise our fists and give three cheers (or three beers) to Canada's own Classy Broad Association (C.B.A.)

Drop us a line if you think you have the (ahem) class to be a member.

Music:

"I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy" - Tom Waits

"The piano has been drinking, not me. " - Tom Waits

"I'd hate to be a teetotaler. Imagine getting up in the morning and knowing that's as good as you're going to feel all day" - Dean Martin

"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on." - Dean Martin

"Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says to love your enemy! " - Frank Sinatra

Movies:

Cabaret - "I'm going to be a great film star! That is, if booze and sex don't get me first."
Mommie Dearest - "I should've know you'd know where to find the boys and the booze!"
Withnail and I - "I must have some booze. I demand to have some booze."
Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert - "What fun. Baby bottles of booze."
Dumb and Dumberer - "Where's the booze?"
Groundhog Day - "Can I have another one of these with some booze in it?"
I'ts A Mad Mad Mad Mad World - "Well stop kidding will ya and make us some drinks! You just press the button back there marked "booze". It's the only way to fly! "
Life - "We got thirty-six cases of booze. That's better than money."
Once Were Warriors - "What do you want money for? You've got everything you need right here. You got booze... food."

Books:

"The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk, they're sober." - William Butler Yeats

"Work is the curse of the drinking classes. " - Oscar Wilde

"One more drink and I'd be under the host" - Dorothy Parker

"When I have one martini, I feel bigger, wiser, taller. When I have the second, I feel superlative. When I have more, there's no holding me." - William Faulkner

"Man, being reasonable, must get drunk; The best of life is but intoxication." - Lord Byron

"Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life" - George Bernard Shaw

"An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools." - Ernest Hemingway

"Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut." - Ernest Hemingway

Heroes:

"Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol." - W.C. Fields
"I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast." - W.C. Fields
"What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?" - W.C. Fields
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading." - Henny Youngman
"I have taken more good from alcohol than alcohol has taken from me." - Winston Churchill
"The intermediate stage between socialism and capitalism is alcoholism." - Norman Brenner
"I believe, if we take habitual drunkards as a class, their heads and their hearts will bear an advantageous comparison with those of any other class. There seems ever to have been a proneness in the brilliant and warm-blooded to fall into this vice." - Abraham Lincoln
"Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." - Benjamin Franklin
"Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time." - Catherine Zandonella
"Do not allow children to mix drinks. It is unseemly and they use too much vermouth." - Steve Allen
"To alcohol! The cause of... and solution to all of life's problems!" - Homer Simpson

My Blog

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Posted by Union of Classy Broads ~ Local 169 on Tue, 31 Jan 2006 11:01:00 PST

22 clues when to "Call It A Night'

1. I have absolutely no idea where my purse is. 2. I believe that dancing with my arms overhead and wiggling my butt while yelling WOOHOO is truly the sexiest dance move around. 3. I've sudd...
Posted by Union of Classy Broads ~ Local 169 on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST