ELECTRO MIKE

I’M ELECTRO MIKE AND I’M THE KING OF THE DICTIONARY - I’M SUPERFLY LIKE LIONEL RITCHIE-O-NARY. AND THAT’S THE TRUTH. I RECORD LO-FI, RETARDED BOOGALOO AND STUFF ON A FOUR-TRACK TAPE RECORDER WHICH I STOLE OFF A MAN AT MY FAVOURITE BUS STOP. I’M NOT SORRY - HE WAS WEARING A QUEEN T-SHIRT, THAT SICK MUTHA. I USE A GUITAR, A PIECE OF SHIT KEYBOARD FROM ARGOS AND A TAPE OF DRUM LOOPS WHICH I FOUND IN A DUMPSTER ONE DAY WHILE I WAS OUT LOOKING FOR ANSWERS. AND LUNCH. THESE DAYS I RECORD ALONE IN THE ELECTRO LAB BUT I BELIEVE THAT I USED TO BE IN A BAND CALLED "BROTHER LEE’S BRASS JAM PAN RAM JAM BLUES BAND" ALTHOUGH I CAN’T BE SURE OF THIS AS I SUFFER FROM 65% MEMORY LOSS AS THE RESULT OF A BAD ACCIDENT WHICH I ONCE HAD. IN MY PANTS. I WOULD HAVE LIKED A RECORD DEAL IF IT WAS 1968 BUT SEEING AS IT’S ALREADY 1976 I DON’T CARE. INSTEAD I’M TRYING TO PERSUADE THE ACTRESS AND MODEL, BRITT ECKLAND, TO FINANCE MY ALBUM THROUGH VARIOUS INTIMIDATION/STALKING/LOVE TECHNIQUES. THE SWEDISH POLICE KNOW ME WELL BY NOW AND ARE QUITE FRIENDLY GIVEN THE CIRCUMSTANCES, "OH MISHTER ELECTRIC", THEY SAY, "YOU MUSHT SHTOP HASSHLING MISH BRECKLAND - HER BIG PAY DAYSH ARE OVER NOW", THOSE SICK MUTHAS. IN MY SPARE TIME I ENJOY BEING THROWN OUT OF ALL THE BEST RESTAURANTS FOR WRITING ON THE CHAIRS AND GENERALLY BEING "MUCKY". I CAN ALSO BE FOUND HANGING AROUND THE CHANGING ROOMS AT EVANS’ BOUTIQUE WHERE I LIKE TO OGLE THE LARGER LADIES. MY DOCTOR SAYS THAT IT IS BEST IF I DON’T HAVE INTERNET FRIENDS AS I HAVE DIFFICULTY TELLING THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN CYBER-SPACE AND TURNING UP UN-ANNOUNCED AT TOTAL STRANGERS WEDDINGS/HOLIDAYS/FUNERALS BUT IF ANYONE COULD SEND ME SOME PASTIES THROUGH THE MAGIC OF THE COMPUTER I WOULD APPRECIATE IT AS I LIVE IN THE MIDDLE OF A LARGE FOREST AND GETTING TO THE SHOPS IS A DRAG.
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I made this music player at MyFlashFetish .com.