Terrible Beauty profile picture

Terrible Beauty

It is a great and terrible beauty...

About Me

Hmmm. What to write here? I am married to the most wonderful man in the entire world, and have been for twelve years last December. I met him at a punk show... he took my breath away then, and he still does now. I am a singer, an artist, and a writer, and am not too far from having a degree in theatre, should I ever decide to go back. I was born in Arizona, and now live in Texas. I am of Irish/Swiss-German/Swiss-French descent, while my husband is of Scottish blood. I love to read, and mostly get into period novels and darkly romantic stories. The gothic romance is my favourite, though I do so love poetry, prose, Shakespeare, Poe, Melville, Chaucer, Stoker, Gaiman, Lawhead, Adams *as in Douglas*, Dostoevsky, Tolstoy, Lewis, Tolkien, Chekhov, Naylor, London, Faulkner and various and sundry others... I am starting a dark garden in my backyard, and enjoy painting murals in people's homes, including my own. I am so completely NOT a morning person. I come alive at night... I suppose you would say I have nocturnal tendencies. I adore words, and when I write, I can get just a wee bit pretentious... When I speak, most people don't know where I am from, as I quickly (and unintentionally) pick up dialects and accents, and some of them have incorporated themselves into my daily speech. This tends to become a tad confusing to people. I have always thought that I spoke with more of a standard American dialect, though I very well could be wrong. I am a mix of introvert and extrovert, can be quite moody, and have definite beliefs and opinions on most things. I love to travel, and I love to drive. When given the chance, I will jump on a trip to someplace I have never been without a second thought. I am quite spontaneous and impulsive, and prefer to have creative and intellectual control over those things with which I involve myself. Having said that, I am also a bit of a perfectionist in those things that are in my control. My parents call me Miss Monk, after the tv show. My mom also calls me Morticia... hee. I have two dogs, as we recently lost our oldest, and miss him so. I would love to have cats again, but alas and alack, I cannot, as Matthew is allergic to them. I have, since a young child, been vastly interested by various mythologies and faery tales of the world, and my very first favourite such tale is the Russian Snow White and Rose Red. I do truly enjoy learning... digging... discovering... Foreign languages, photography, honest and intelligent debate, music, deep conversations into the wee hours of the morning, long walks either alone or with one other person, cemeteries, large cities, deep forests, fog, drizzly overcast grey days, rain, motorcycles, hearses, porsches, jaguars, sincere and genuine people. I am both an optimist and a pessimist, and quite cynical. I have been told that I'm too quiet, too loud, too introspective, too loquacious, too pretentious, too open, too closed, too dark, too light, too unpredictable, too predictable, too smart, too stupid, too much of an enigma, too much of an open book, too dry, too sarcastic, too much this and not enough that, or vice versa... Ultimately, however, I know that I am who I am, and nothing is going to change that, except perhaps, God... though I am who He made me, perhaps not yet who He created me to be... I try not to get too wrapped up in discovering myself... it's a waste of time, and I should just go about my business, following the Lord and doing whatever it is that I do, and when it's time, change comes. In His ultimate and infinite knowledge, He leads me to the places I need to be at the time I need to be there, and introduces me to those people He has for me to be intertwined with at the very moment He has planned. His thoughts for me are only good, as I have been justified by His grace. I digress, however... I only meant to write a short bit about myself, and ended with this. I apologise. Good night...TinyI am an artist, an actor, a singer, and a writer. I love film noir and foreign films. Music is an extremely large portion of my life, and I spend a great deal of time in seeking out new music as well as reacquainting myself with artists I had forgotten about or had, for whatever reason, allowed to slip past me. I adore to read, and will read just about whatever I can get my hands on, so long as it has been intelligently written and I can invest myself in it. I am a night owl. I tend to avoid numerous acquaintances, and would rather be with a few very close friends and/or my husband, or by myself. I am a follower of Christ, and wouldn't be here if it weren't for my relationship with Him. I suppose that about covers it. If I think of anything else that should be mentioned, I shall. Until then...
What writer are you?
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You scored as Romantic Goth. You are a romantic goth, better known as a traditional goth. You are probably quickly identified as a goth by outsiders. Black lace, bats, and moonlit cemetaries are just a few of your favorite things.

Romantic Goth


100%

Ethereal Goth


92%

Old-school Goth


92%

Fantasy Goth


58%

Industrial/Rivet-Head


42%

Anything-Goes Goth


42%

Death Rocker


21%

Cyber-goth


13%

Understanding Outsider


8%

Confused Outsider


4%

Perky Goff


4%
What subcategory of Goth best fits you?
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My Interests

Art, good music, theatre, intelligently written literature, word meanings and history, history in general, truth, beauty, honesty, passion... I could go on for quite some time, actually.

I'd like to meet:



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Music:

Music is a huge part of my life. I write and sing, and have performed since I was three. I was in my last church's praise and worship band for about 6 years, and worship is in my blood... is my blood. I would love to get back into music, both praise and worship and my own.A few of the artists that move me: Saviour Machine, Dead Artist Syndrome, Eva O, Virgin Black, Batzz in the Belfry, Wedding Party, I-Dragon-I, Numina, The Cure, Bauhaus, Peter Murphy, Black Tape for a Blue Girl, Bjork, Mental Destruction, Azure Skies, Wyrmwood: The Legacy, Bella Morte, the Deadlines (The Death and Life of Rock and Roll, to be precise), Soul Whirling Somewhere, Lycia, Xymox, the Cruxshadows, The Last Dance, A Hymn for Her, Darkfield Illuminator, Firmament, Mission UK, Xymox, Clan of Xymox, the Hounds of Heaven, Spyglass Blue, Scaterd Few, Siouxsie and the Banshees, Sisters of Mercy, Kommunity FK, David Bowie, The Birthday Party, Writ on Water, Keith Green, Chris Taylor, Situation Taboo, Konkrete Pillow...This is, of course, a completely inconclusive listing...

Movies:

My favourite movies are Lady in the Water, Shiri, the Princess Bride, Gallipoli, Lost in Translation, Spring and Chaos, Dark City, Run Lola Run, Labyrinth, Gattaca, Serial Experiments Lain, Dancer in the Dark, The Red Violin, A Beautiful Mind, Beijing Bicycle, Big Fish, Benny and Joon, Blade Runner (Director's Cut, of course...), Das Boot, Dead Poet's Society, Grave of the Fireflies, James and the Giant Peach, Master and Commander, The Life Aquatic, Millenium Actress, Perfect Blue, The Professional, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead, Ran, Waiting for Guffman, Best in Show, La Femme Nikita (the original, not the idiotic tv program...), Gunnm, Father Goose, The Dark Crystal, The Hunger, The Shining, the Professional, Shallow Grave...Of course I mustn't leave out the Tolkien trilogy, and Lewis' famous kitty cat... and anything by M Night Shyamalan...

Television:

Does the term "rabbit ears" mean anything to you?

Books:

The Bible


Neverwhere, The Mabinogian, Crime and Punishment, Cycle of the Werewolf, Out of the Silent Planet, Perelandra, That Hideous Strength, Byzantium, The Silmarillion, Frankenstein, The Unquenchable Worshipper. What type of vampire are you?
The Refined Vampire
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Heroes:

Ye'shua. My Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.

My Blog

Incredible News...

Some of you are aware of the fact that I am unable to have children.  Matthew and I have always wanted kids, but had given up on the idea of ever having one.  Adoption was always too expensi...
Posted by Terrible Beauty on Fri, 22 Feb 2008 09:41:00 PST

Back...

I've been gone a while, but I'm back now.  My apologies to all my friends... it's been interesting.I hope you're well.Blessings to you all.
Posted by Terrible Beauty on Tue, 12 Feb 2008 12:46:00 PST

According to the Numbers...

There are people who read my blogs.  Or maybe there's one who reads them over and over again from multiple computers.  Either way, they read, and the majority never answer.  Some o...
Posted by Terrible Beauty on Tue, 13 Nov 2007 10:38:00 PST

So tired...

I've been so very tired lately.  There are too many things demanding my attention... too many brews bubbling within... I have missed all of my friends here, and all of my friends in the offl...
Posted by Terrible Beauty on Mon, 12 Nov 2007 08:21:00 PST

I should be asleep...

Unfortunately, I had a migraine today, and was sent home from work.  I say unfortunately, because although I was home, and could have worked on commissions, I was asleep.  I feel much better...
Posted by Terrible Beauty on Wed, 24 Oct 2007 01:21:00 PST

To all my Friends...

I just wanted to let you know that I've been hit with a tonne of inspiration tonight, and won't be around much for the next little while. I will be checking in on my messages, comments, and such, of c...
Posted by Terrible Beauty on Sat, 06 Oct 2007 04:04:00 PST

It is a Desperate Stillness

It's a desperate stillness, a fear of moving, a fear of staying still... it has not a chance of creating something beautiful, because it hasn't a thought beyond self-preservation and invisibility.&nbs...
Posted by Terrible Beauty on Tue, 18 Sep 2007 11:02:00 PST

Such mediocrity that pours from these fingers...

I am full of speech and metaphor, and it means nothing.  The art will come.  The words will flow.  The music will dance.  It will have nothing to do with talent, nor with skill, bu...
Posted by Terrible Beauty on Tue, 18 Sep 2007 10:44:00 PST

And now what?

Where is my voice?  Where is my passion?The sheer weight of the drive to create draws away from me the ability to do so.  I sit in front of the blank canvas, the empty wall, the white n...
Posted by Terrible Beauty on Tue, 18 Sep 2007 10:24:00 PST

And the numbers climb...

But still no one answers.  What are your thoughts?  Where are you tonight?  Where will you be tomorrow?  Tell me what you believe... what you want... what you love and hate and are...
Posted by Terrible Beauty on Tue, 18 Sep 2007 12:22:00 PST