Hasidic Shmoo

My real name is Shmoopy, Shmoo for short. I'm a lazy bastard who likes having my booty spanked, hard. I love to cough up hairballs on the bathroom rug. I run under my humans feet to try to trip them as they walk by. I meow non-stop. When you pet me, my hair sheds off in big clumps, and I have a little dandruff. I love to smell peoples shoes, and rub my face on your leg so hard I sometimes leave a wet spot from my saliva. I eat, sleep, and poo all day long. When my litter box is clean I like to roll around in it and get all dusty. I enjoy napping in the sunshine on the window sill ... but one time the screen popped out and down I went. Good thing us cats have 9 lives!