About Me
Surrounded By Assholes Was formed sometime in the year 2000 and 4 by guitar player/singer Mattholes. After being in countless crappy bar bands with members that just wanted to play covers and piss each other off, Mattholes decided it was time for a change. It was time to start a band where he could play his original punk rock and roll tunes and have a good fucking time doing it! So he enlisted Robert J Fuckers, formerly of one of the previously mentioned bar bands, Indie rock band Federali and currently of Pittsburgh metal heads Koresh, to play the drums. Bob said, " Fuck it, why not?" a question he would soon have many answers to. They then went on to enlist bass player Ryan (A.K.A Roy, or bitches,) also of Federali fame. Roy was cool till he decided he was just too emo to handle the raw rock n roll power of Surrounded By Assholes and he ran home crying to his mommy after pissing his pants one day during practice. Sad. They managed to play quite a few shows and get a couple fans before the whole pants pissing thing went down. Then it was on to Bitches the 2nd. Angelo. A great punk rock bass player from Yompton Ohio, raring to go and ready to rock and roll! We practiced day in and day out for weeks on end and drank as many cheap beers as possible along the way. A month, several cases and bars later, we where finally ready to return to the stage and kick Pittsburghs ass right in the ears. With just a couple of days left before the first show, Bitches the 2nd broke up with his girlfriend and ran back home to Yompton to mope and cry and start a band that sounds like 1208. Fuck. Mattholes and Robert J Fuckers played a few shows by theyre lonesome and kept on rocking till one day they came upon Craig! Bitches the 3rd! The finest Bitch of them yet! He is also in Mizaru, check em out. Not only did Craig fit in great, learn enough songs to play a show in about a week and kick ass in the process. He was also a left handed goofy footed straight edge veggie eatin upside down backwards-bass playin mother fucker! So back to the stage they went! Things where going great! They played show after show and rocked ass after ass, and things just kept getting better. then out of the blue, Wouldn't you know it, Bitches the 3rd decided to go to College in Arizona and once again Surrounded By Assholes was a bassless bunch of ass hats. What a fucking surprise! On the way to school bitches the 3rd ate a bad squash and shit him self to death and that really sucked for him. Did they quit? Did they give in and join some crappy cover band just to get a few bucks and free beers and possibly get laid? Fuck no they didnt get laid! They searched the globe far and wide for a new bitches and finally found Bitches the 4th. Fredholes! Fred learned the tunes, they drank a bunch of PBR and American, they played some more shows and then Bam! Nothing happened. With Robert J Fuckers busy in Federali and Fredholes rocking his ass across the States with Incommunicado, Mattholes got tired of all the many ass pains of trying to lead a band and decided to move to Ohio, Finish school and get a job. 4 months, no schooling and a couple of bar jobs later, Mattholes gets a call from Bitches the 3rd (Craig) saying he has risen from the dead, ran in to Fredholes along his tour and ate his brains and is ready to rock his brain/bad vegetable eating face off. This kicked ass cause Mattholes was really fucking bored living in Megina and starting to go crazy. So Surrounded By Assholes was back again with Bitches the 5th, the late bitches the 3rd's dead alive brain eating Zombie. So they continued to rock out loud all over P Burgh, kicking ass and taking names and phone numbers of girls that where drunk enough to give them out and then wouldn't you know it, Craigs Zombie decided he would soon return to Arizona to finish his degree and be a total ass hat for leaving the band once again. Not retawesome! So Surrounded By Assholes was just about ready to say "fuck it" when they where sitting at a bar drinking there faces off and they over heard someone say that Fredholes survived the Zombie attack and his brain was replaced by a space aged computer from space. The new and improved Fredholes hunted down bitches the 5th (Zombie craig,) blew his face off and returned to SBA as the new half asshole half machine Fredholes the second a.k.a. Bitches the 6th. Surrounded By Assholes is now preparing to record and will continue to rock out all over Pittsburgh, the surrounding areas and soon in your very own back yard! They will probably need to sleep on your couch. Peace and hair grease.
