"You're a lemon. Like a bad car, there's something inherently defective in you. And you. And me! All of us here -- we're lemons! Big, juicy, acidic, ice-tea flavoring lemons! We look like everyone else but we're defective because when most people make a bet they want to win, while we, the degenerate gamblers of the world, we're subconsciously playing to lose. All humans like going to the edge of the abyss, but what makes us different is we go all the way and hurl ourselves off into the void! And we like doing it so much we do it time after time after time! Me? I always felt most alive when they were raking away the chips, and every one here knows what I'm talking about. People like us, even when we win, it's just a matter of time before we give it all back. But when we lose, and I mean the kind of loss that makes your asshole pucker to the size of a decimal point, there's a moment when you're standing there and you've just recreated the worst possible nightmare this side of malignant cancer for the 20th goddamn time and you suddenly realize -- hey, I'm still here, I'm still breathing, I'm still alive! In order to really live you have to be aware of your own mortality -- and a losing bet of a certain size is one of the best ways
I know of getting that feeling. When you win, you defy death, but when you lose, you survive it, and that's remarkable! Us lemons, we fuck shit up on purpose! We need to constantly remind ourselves that we're alive! Gambling's not the problem, Leon, your fucked up need to feel something, to convince yourself you exist, to test what's really real, that's the problem!"
--Walter from 'TWO FOR THE MONEY'
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Training: WILLIAM ESPER STUDIO
