Touch me deep, pure and true, Give to me forever. profile picture

Touch me deep, pure and true, Give to me forever.

Watching stars without you,my soul cries

About Me


I wish I could find people who just would fight me and break through to me and hold me down and scream their life into my face.
"It's a lie. It's a bunch of sad strangers photographed beautifully, and... all the glittering assholes who appreciate art say it's beautiful 'cause that's what they wanna see. But the people in the photos are sad, and alone... But the pictures make the world seem beautiful, so... the exhibition is reassuring which makes it a lie, and everyone loves a big fat lie"
"I can never read all the books I want; I can never be all the people I want and live all the lives I want. I can never train myself in all the skills I want. And why do I want? I want to live and feel all the shades, tones and variations of mental and physical experience possible in life. And I am horribly limited"
"The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing but burn burn burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars"
"the world is a dangerous place. not because of the people who are evil; but because of the people who don't do anything about it." -albert einstein
"From childhood's hour I have not been As others were; I have not seen As others saw; I could not bring My passions from a common spring. From the same source I have not taken My sorrow; I could not awaken My heart to joy at the same tone; And all I loved, I loved alone. Then- in my childhood, in the dawn Of a most stormy life- was drawn From every depth of good and ill The mystery which binds me still: From the torrent, or the fountain, From the red cliff of the mountain, From the sun that round me rolled In its autumn tint of gold, From the lightning in the sky As it passed me flying by, From the thunder and the storm, And the cloud that took the form (When the rest of Heaven was blue) Of a demon in my view"
"I always need more to feel alive than I have. You may not be able to figure me out, but it's okay, because I can't either"

"Perhaps she saw before her a lifetime of walking on the ruined earth and chose instead a single moment in the air"
"Ready or not, someday it will all come to an end. There
will be no more sunrises, no days, no hours or minutes.
All the things you collected, whether treasured or
forgotten, will pass to someone else. Your wealth, fame,
and temporal power will shrivel to irrelevance. It will
not matter what you owned, or what you were owed. Your
grudges, resentments, frustrations, and jealousies will
disappear. So, too, your hopes, ambitions, plans, and
to-do lists will all expire. The wins and losses that
once seemed so important will fade away. It won't matter
where you came from, or on what side of the tracks you
lived. It won't matter whether you were beautiful or
brilliant. Your gender, skin color, ethnicity will be irrelevant.
So what will matter? How will the value of your days be measured?
What will matter is not what you brought, but what you
built. Not what you got, but what you gave. What will
matter is not your success, but your significance. What
will matter is not what you learned, but what you
taught. What will matter is every act of integrity,
compassion, courage, and sacrifice that enriched or
empowered or encouraged others to emulate your example.
What will matter is not your competence, but your
character. What will matter is not how many people you
knew, but how many will feel a lasting loss when you're
gone. What will matter is not your memories, but the
memories of those who loved you. What will matter is how
long you will be remembered, by whom and for what.
Living a life that matters doesn't happen by accident. It's
not a matter of circumstance but of choice. Choose a life that matters................"

My Interests


advice,angelina jolie, arts+crafts,art in all forms, badness, beaches, beading, beauty,bike riding, black & white, black eyeliner, bodyboarding,book stores,bracelets, breast, bright eyes,buddhism, cherries,chills down my spine, coffee, coldplay,commitment, concerts, connections, control, courtney love, crazy/beautiful, cuddling, curves, dashboard confessional, day dreaming, discounts, dreams, emo, endorphins after exercising,energy, exercise,exotic beings,eyes, flip flops, freedom, from autumn to ashes, fuck, giggling, glitter all over, goals, hair, having fun, hemp, holding hands, honesty, hoodies, hxc, imperfections, impulsiveness, indie films,insanity, inspiration, internalizing,intervention,intimacy ,intriguing, jets to brazil, juliana theory, karma, kinkyness, kissing, late night walks,laughing so hard that I cry,laying on my back staring at the stars,learning new things, life, losing weight, love, low fat chi lattes from starbucks, my friends, meditation, memories, memoirs, mia, midtown, mirrors, money, movies, music,my journal,natural highs, necklaces, new york, nyc, obsession, over analyzing,old souls, perfect eyebrows, perfection does not exisit, personality, photography, piercings, procrastinating, psychology,poetry,quotes,recovery, running,Renfrew Center, running away, salvador dali,saves the day, secrets, self-control, sleeping, sleeping barenaked,spooning,skinny dipping,spending hours in barnes and noble, stars, swinging on the swings, taking back sunday, talking for hours, tanning, tea, the all american rejects, the ataris, the sun beating down on me,the moon, therapy, thursday, true friends, true love, venting, vintage, volunteering,walking, wasted, water, weezer, women, women with curves, working out, writing,
"I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me, but its hard to stay mad when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much. My heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst. Then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain, and I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life"

I'd like to meet:

i wish the stars would hang closer to the ground so i could reach out my hand and grab one. i'd make a wish every night, in hopes that they'd come true. someday, somewhere, i'll be waiting for you. a body without a face. an imaginary friend. a poem about you. but you're no one in the end. you do not exist, nor will you ever. i'll be searching for you from now until forever.

" I like someone who is a little bit crazy but coming from a good place. I think scars are sexy because it means you made mistakes that led to a mess....but you made it through it"-Angelina Jolie

Music:

Ferrick,Ani,Coldplay,Counting Crows,Bob Marley,Sting,Smashing Pumpkins

Movies:

Havoc,Crash,Monster,Anything Else,High Art, Donnie Darko,Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind,American Beauty,Bully,Kids,Tart,Elephant,Clock Work Orange, Chasing Amy,Girl Interrupted,A Requeim for a Dream ,GIA,Sixteen Candles,Pretty In Pink,Lost and Delerious,Edward Scissor Hands,Dazed and Confused,Wit,Boys Dont Cry,Party Monster,A League of their Own,Garden State,28 Days,Rules of Attraction,Ice Storm,American History X,Virgin Suicides

Books:

Zami A New Spelling of my Name,Stone Butch Blues, A Million Little Peices(get over it Oprah the real problem is your friend Dr.Phil)The Lovely Bones, Wasted, Girl Interrupted,Prozac Nation,The Perks Of Being A Wallflower,The 5 People You Will Meet In Heaven Poe,Sylvia Plath,Emily Dickinson,Shakespeare,The Daily News ..You can find me in Borders in my spare time..

Heroes:

My brother My Foxfire Sisters
Lori
My Frew Girls

I don't have a lot of friends. They are acquaintances mostly. People that pass through my life, making a minimum of difference to me. But, I'm lucky. Luckier then most really. You see I have a few people in my life who mean the world to me. People who make everything seem so much better. A few people who I wouldn't be who I am today without. These people have changed me and for the better. I'd die for them in an instant, but more importantly, I'd live for them. ~~Jacqueline Kelly McBride

R.I.P Valti..You are loved and missed

My Blog

heres some light...

Sometimes we have to see for ourselves. We have to make our own mistakes. We have to learn our own lessons. We have to sweep today's possibility under tomorrow's rug until we can't anymore. Until we F...
Posted by Im kind of a big deal on Mon, 30 Apr 2007 11:03:00 PST

Airport information

I arrive to Fort Lauderdale/Hollywood Airport at 1: 45 pm May 19th(saturday)
Posted by Im kind of a big deal on Thu, 26 Apr 2007 01:52:00 PST

Religion MWAHAHHAHA

...
Posted by Im kind of a big deal on Tue, 10 Apr 2007 07:50:00 PST

flightsss

I have decided not to go down to Florida during my spring break because everyone is going to be in school...poop. But i took off during memorial day weekend..I would love to come down then...i just wa...
Posted by Im kind of a big deal on Tue, 06 Mar 2007 06:54:00 PST

my deepest apologies

My addiction to myspace has finally come to an end..I find myself too preoccupied with other things , which is a great thing! I would like to apologize if I i dont send back comments or messages , I h...
Posted by Im kind of a big deal on Fri, 02 Mar 2007 05:22:00 PST

LIFE

Fighting for the smallest goal to get a little self control... won't anybody here just let you disappear?  Sick to death of my dependence, fighting food to fight transcendence. Fighting to su...
Posted by Im kind of a big deal on Tue, 27 Feb 2007 09:27:00 PST

ONE MORE LAST TIME..Props to Killa

ONE MORE LAST TIME I gave myself one more day, One more time, Because I know I'll start tomorrow. I ate everything I wanted with no restrictions, Because I knew this was the last binge....
Posted by Im kind of a big deal on Sun, 25 Feb 2007 06:20:00 PST

I just dont like my classes..Thats all

I think it is a complete waste of my time to go to class at 830 in the morning to copy down notes that are completly self explanatory for an hour and a half. It is insane and irritates me .  Is t...
Posted by Im kind of a big deal on Sun, 25 Feb 2007 04:07:00 PST

just keepin my options open

OKKKKK..soooooo.....I think i might move to florida this summer. Kylee is lookin for apts for us and im gunna start sendin my resume out/
Posted by Im kind of a big deal on Fri, 23 Feb 2007 06:54:00 PST

LOVES IT

What does borderline personality mean, anyhow? It appears to be a way station between neurosis and pychosis: a fractured but not disassembled psyche. Though to quote my post-Melvin psychiatrist: "I...
Posted by Im kind of a big deal on Tue, 20 Feb 2007 09:55:00 PST