The Root of All Free Fucking Thought profile picture

The Root of All Free Fucking Thought

"Maybe there is no Heaven. Or maybe this is all pure gibberish — a product of the demented imagina

About Me

I spent the better part of a decade traveling this country and others before feeling audacious enough to write anything I deemed worth reading. I enjoy raising my son, good books, good single malt whiskey, a good roll in the hay, and cleaning hand guns in the dark at 3a.m., as well as furthering my search for what is left of America.

Myspace Layouts at Pimp-My-Profile.com / Luck of the Irish!!!

form action='http://www.kwiz.biz/simplesurveys/do-survey.php' method='post' target='_new'
TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name: Mutha Fuckin Steve-O
Birthday: April Fool's Day 1978, oh I can taste the evny
Birthplace: In a gryffon's nest on an ethereal plane
Current Location: Purgatory
Eye Color: You can't escape me blue
Hair Color: Currently in transition
Height: 5' 9"
Right Handed or Left Handed: Yes
Your Heritage: All Mick
The Shoes You Wore Today: Sandals rendered from the flesh of disbelievers
Your Weakness: None. Vices, sure...
Your Fears: Dying with untattooed skin
Your Perfect Pizza: Is served with kick ass beer
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Publication on a mass scale
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: What? Not me, never used one
Thoughts First Waking Up: I really do get better looking every day
Your Best Physical Feature: I have a nine inch tounge and I can breathe through my ears
Your Bedtime: Insomniac
Your Most Missed Memory: Sleep
Pepsi or Coke: Which one has whiskey in it?
McDonalds or Burger King: Fuck fast food
Single or Group Dates: Define group...
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: How about Long Island
Chocolate or Vanilla: Don't pull the race card with me, bitch
Cappuccino or Coffee: Tea
Do you Smoke: Like a fish
Do you Swear: Like Sondheim writes internal rhymes
Do you Sing: Everyone sings, even copulation is a three act opera
Do you Shower Daily: If it's necessary
Have you Been in Love: Of course, I have also been to Ypsilanti
Do you want to go to College: Again? Ummm, pass
Do you want to get Married: Is that a proposal? Are you rich? Hot? Freaky?
Do you belive in yourself: Moreso than anyone else
Do you get Motion Sickness: If I did I probably wouldn't move as much
Do you think you are Attractive: Lemme check...yep, still hottern'a two dollar Sighauer
Are you a Health Freak: If by freak you mean defy conventions of health in order to persue my self-destructive nature, then yes
Do you like Thunderstorms: Few things are as captivating
Do you play an Instrument: Guitar, mandolin, and the human body
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: That would be a resounding you-betcha
In the past month have you Smoked: Only cigarettes and pot
In the past month have you been on Drugs: I don't do drugs, glue doesn't count as a drug, right?
In the past month have you gone on a Date: Does casual sex with a stranger in an abandoned warehouse count as a date?
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: How do you think I met the above stranger?
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: No, all that interracial shit makes me nervous
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: Yes, and I can't wait to do it again
In the past month have you been on Stage: I'm on stage every time I open my mouth
In the past month have you been Dumped: You have to be in a relationship to be dumped
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: In February? In the Midwest? I like my three piece set thanks
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: The plans for Iran's ultimate Death Ray, any takers?
Ever been Drunk: Ever asked really obvious questions?
Ever been called a Tease: Why, what have you heard?
Ever been Beaten up: Yeah, but you should see the other guy
Ever Shoplifted: I prefer to think of it as a re-patriation of goods
How do you want to Die: Old
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: Better than you
What country would you most like to Visit: Freedopeia
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: As long as it's not glowing red or hollow black we're cool
Favourite Hair Color: I've always been a fan of dirty blondes, oh wait, no I meant that both ways, never mind
Short or Long Hair: Sure
Height: I don't discriminate
Weight: I do discriminate, heiffers may shuffle on...
Best Clothing Style: none
Number of Drugs I have taken: Sit down, kids, this may take a long, long while
Number of CDs I own: More than three
Number of Piercings: None currently, but many in my life
Number of Tattoos: 9
Number of things in my Past I Regret: Fuck regrets with billy clubs that transfigure into live Copperheads once they penetrate
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

My Interests

Anyone searching for the cure for complacency. Midgets. Sex on foreign soil. Punk rock that isn't sponsored by MTV. Cultures that knew to weed out their weak. Writing. Directing. Approfondement. Jewelry made from body parts and bone. Reducing the crime rate by legalizing marijuana. Sticking it to the Man. The rapid and torturous death of class warfare and WalMart. And puppies; they're just cute.

I'd like to meet:

Anyone willing to track down the Myspace whores who spam my friend request inbox and force feed them scorpions Your results:
You are Iron Man Iron Man 100% Green Lantern 85% Hulk 80% The Flash 80% Spider-Man 70% Catwoman 65% Supergirl 60% Robin 60% Superman 50% Wonder Woman 50% Batman 45% Inventor. Businessman. Genius.
Click here to take the Superhero Personality Quiz

Music:

Atomosphere to Zappa and all points in between. Miss you Jerry! And if it wasn't for Tom Waits, I'd be dead by now.

Movies:

the one i'm writing, the one i wrote, the boondock saints, wrist cutters, anything kevin smith(except jersey girl, we all know that blew), hard candy, superbad, the bourne series, the first three star wars, tombstone, ok anything with sam elliot(bamf), a mighty wind, lock, stock & snatch, donnie darko, the princess bride, fight club, thank you for smoking, how to rob a bank, fuck i like a lot of movies...
You Are 82% Evil
You're the most evil person you know.
The devil is even a little scared of you! How Evil Are You?

Television:

Should be limited to cartoons, Comedy Central, and the History Channel.

Books:

Tom Robbins, Jack Kerouac, Carlos Castaneda, Chuck Palahnuik, James Joyce, Tim Pat Coogan, Burroughs, Kafka, WWII factual history, Gore Vidal, Kosinsky, Terrance McKenna, yes, Harry fucking Potter, Bukowski, the Marquis de Sade, Steinbeck, the Anarchist's Cookbook, Mark Twain, Tolstoy, Dr. Suess, Shel Silverstein, Dostoevsky, Sartre, Aristotle, Terry Pratchett, Neil Gaiman, Henry Miller, D.H. Lawrence, Anias Nin, and Al Franken, to name a few...

Heroes:

Bob Dylan, George Carlin, Kevin Smith, Bill Hicks, Peter Griffin, Josh Langevin, Hollis Pistole, Bill Maher, Bernard Mickey Wrangle, and my dad

My Blog

My Interview With James Carville

If you haven't been reading my work on today.com....then you missed this. I received an overwhelming amount of positive feedback for this one, so I thought I'd cross post it here.Enjoy, and remember: ...
Posted by The Root of All Free Fucking Thought on Tue, 21 Oct 2008 10:51:00 PST

BREAKING! American Voters "In The Tank" For Obama

Reuters: The American people are one hundred percent "in the tank for Obama", says McCain strategist Steve Schmidt."It's despicable. These people are just 'truth sheep' and 'informative voters' with a...
Posted by The Root of All Free Fucking Thought on Fri, 03 Oct 2008 01:06:00 PST

Shots All Around

"Another wake, another time, a premature goodbye.I've watched you go and I've seen you pass,I always knew that it wouldn't last.Together now we mourn the loss, and remember all the fun.We'll drink the...
Posted by The Root of All Free Fucking Thought on Thu, 18 Sep 2008 02:30:00 PST

Mandatory Evacuation and Preemptive Strikes

As mentioned in a bulletin I posted earlier today, I'm seriously considering throwing MySpace under the bus. I'm kinda over it. I wanted to get something going, and I've done just that. People I never...
Posted by The Root of All Free Fucking Thought on Fri, 12 Sep 2008 10:43:00 PST

Sex Nuts and Retard Strong

I chose the title of this post from a line in Clerks II, so thanks Kevin Smith for once again inspiring me to steal from you in order to make a point. In this case, I'm not talking about someone mastu...
Posted by The Root of All Free Fucking Thought on Sat, 06 Sep 2008 11:52:00 PST

I Just Cant Pass This Up

Seriously, I can't. This shit is too much fun, and it's waaaaay too easy. One of the things I used to talk about, before I started writing here on Myspace, was the "theater of life". I'll go into that...
Posted by The Root of All Free Fucking Thought on Tue, 02 Sep 2008 10:59:00 PST

Quandries and Lies

All right, maybe I was a bit hesitant when I said I wouldn't post anything politically motivated anymore. But at the time of this writing, the only two of you fucks I know for certain that reads my sh...
Posted by The Root of All Free Fucking Thought on Thu, 28 Aug 2008 08:38:00 PST

Spoiled, Selfish Primadonnas

Hey sports fans, know what's worse than T.O. and Chad Johnson in the same room? How about the US Men's Track Team. It's like watching a bunch of spoiled ass rich kids talk about their cars. These guys...
Posted by The Root of All Free Fucking Thought on Sat, 23 Aug 2008 08:57:00 PST

Lucky you, I just made up a new word

Disclaimer: This post is not intended in any way to offend those of you who still woefully call themselves Andersonians. If for some reason you find yourselves yet mired in that Rockwellian nightmare,...
Posted by The Root of All Free Fucking Thought on Tue, 19 Aug 2008 10:30:00 PST

The Leprechaun’s 13 Lucky Charms

Jaysus Horatio Cane Christ, kids. Sometimes I love being able to work from home(or, in this case, my girlfriend's apartment, but who's keeping tabs...besides the NSA). It gives me the opportunity to d...
Posted by The Root of All Free Fucking Thought on Sat, 26 Jul 2008 12:55:00 PST