WHALECOCK

Whales have giant cocks. Being the largest animals on the earth, it's only natural that they would possess the largest penises on earth. The biggest of the big, the Blue Whale, has a dick that's reported to be 16 feet long. Its balls, however, weigh only a mere 25 pounds each. I say "only a mere 25 pounds," because the Right Whale possesses, in my opinion, a far more impressive package. The Right Whale's ding dong measures in at around eight feet, just half the size of the Blue Whale's member. Unlike the blue whale, however, the Right Whale's balls weigh a staggering half-ton each. Yes, that's a ton of balls. They're like little Volkswagens. A child can climb around in them. An eight-foot-weiner is big enough, but with a 2000 lb nutsack hanging from it, it's far more impressive than a 16-foot windsock and a couple of grapes. In conclusion, whale cocks are the biggest cocks on earth, their balls are the biggest balls on earth and, one would surmise, their cunts are probably the biggest vaginas in the fuckin' galaxy. Welcome to the Whale Cock Skateboard Company.