renegade with a hand grenadeâ„¢

About Me

I don't want to explain myself. Either understand what I'm about--or don't. I won't hold your hand through it.
Being as open-minded and catholic (lower-case "c"; look it up in a dictionary--it's my favorite word!) as I am has always been my downfall, as being that way can place me in contact with people who AREN'T really so very inclusive, after all! But I'll still be open-minded and catholic, because I am pretty wonderful! **pats self on back for being pretty wonderful** =)
"I want you to hit me as hard as you can."
I like to write; but reading sucks.
I enjoy fixing things. I also enjoy breaking things.
The outdoors is how you get from one building to another.
I have a very dry sense of humor, but I sometimes regret that I hurt people with it. I'm not malicious. I'm good people.
AND MORE!!: If I feel I'm being abused, I will withdraw from the situation, without retribution. The offender doesn't need to be hurt in return; but they also don't deserve the pleasure of my company. If you push my buttons too often, you will be shunned (this applies--and has applied--in real-world situations, too). This is not called "running away"; this is called "retreat". And "absence of the negative". And...self-preservation.

My Interests

"You are what you love, not what loves you."--Donald Kaufman

I'd like to meet:

Not you. Okay...maybe YOU!

Music:

The Beatles, Ozzy Osbourne/Black Sabbath, Anthrax, The Cure, Ramones

Movies:

FIGHT CLUB rules! (Get it? Fight Club RULES? Ha. Ha. Oh, I'm hilarious.); and Adaptation.

I like funny stuff. Do YOU like funny stuff???

Cartoons!!! Oh my god, I almost forgot my love of classic Warner Bros. shorts! They were the best. No Disney for me, though. Way too sappy, and every Disney cartoon has to have not just one, but a slew of songs? Stop that already, Disney!

I am Harold, from "Harold and Maude".
I'm a sensitive--but, weird--soul.

Television:

TV IS GOOD FOR YOU!
(Exactly like spinach!)

Aqua Teen Hunger Force
Black Books
Blackadder
The Brady Bunch (huge fan)
Family Guy
The Office (both the BBC and U.S. versions!)
The Osbournes
Saturday Night Live
The Simpsons
South Park
Star Trek: The Next Generation
That's My White Mama! (a comedy classic)
TV Funhouse
24
Upright Citizens Brigade
Craig Ferguson AND Conan O'Brien (huge dilemma!)
also, any music video directed by Hammer & Tongs (Blur, Lamb, etc.)

My Blog

New comedy piece! The DelVecchio Family Foods Company

A Brief History of the DelVecchio Family Foods Company ® Way back, when Great-great-great-grandma DelVecchio was a little girl, she loved going to all of the family's many weddings in her ho...
Posted by renegade with a hand grenade" on Sat, 07 Jun 2008 04:21:00 PST

Im a book-readin junkie! (SUPER-extended, directors cut version.)

In the past nine months, I finally found time to read again! I had forgotten how fun it is.So, I finished up The Zombie Survival Guide, by Max Brooks (which I'd started back in the summer), and then I...
Posted by renegade with a hand grenade" on Wed, 24 Oct 2007 04:27:00 PST

I’m selling my Dance Hall Crashers and Tsunami Bomb hoodies!

Go to my items to place your bids!Thanks.--Tim
Posted by renegade with a hand grenade" on Wed, 26 Mar 2008 04:22:00 PST

The Official Tim Opper Fan Club Convention update!!!

This summer, there will be TWO conventions, one of them in Atlantic City, and the bigger one in Las Vegas! We’re shooting for a late-June/early July thing. Maybe around the July 4th weekend. At ...
Posted by renegade with a hand grenade" on Thu, 13 Mar 2008 05:59:00 PST

I got a little lost....

I drifted a bit from the true subject of my novel which I'm in the midst of writing. I also didn't know how to correct that drift, that colossal tangent. So, I took about two weeks off from writing, a...
Posted by renegade with a hand grenade" on Fri, 21 Dec 2007 01:02:00 PST

Rebooting the franchise....

That's right! After much serious thought on the matter, I have decided to relaunch The Official Tim Opper Fan Club!I have a new t-shirt design involving me as a high-seas pirate, and should have a "CE...
Posted by renegade with a hand grenade" on Fri, 14 Dec 2007 03:34:00 PST

National Novel Writing Month is over, and...GUESS WHAT!

I'm a WINNER! You heard it from me first! (Who else would you hear it from?) I succeeded at my 50,000-word goal in the National Novel Writing Month's annual write-athon! In fact, I went far beyond t...
Posted by renegade with a hand grenade" on Sat, 01 Dec 2007 03:02:00 PST

Adie Bishops very nice review of my book, "CEREAL KILLERS"!

I am very grateful to Adie Bishop for picking up a copy of my book, and for writing such a nice review. You can read it on her blog, right HERE! Thanks, Adie!...
Posted by renegade with a hand grenade" on Thu, 08 Nov 2007 01:33:00 PST

National Novel Writing Month starts TOMORROW!!! www.nanowrimo.org

National Novel Writing Month is NOVEMBER 1st-30th!!! Go to www.nanowrimo.org to sign up! I HAVE. This month, I will flesh out the outline for my story, entitled "My Fattest Friends". Then, starting No...
Posted by renegade with a hand grenade" on Tue, 09 Oct 2007 04:28:00 PST

Ash Kraftons review of my book, "CEREAL KILLERS"!

Author's Shocking Exposé Reveals Iconic CrimeReport filed by Ash Krafton, 12 October 2007Cap'n Crunch. Mr. Clean. The Burger King.Their names are well-known, their faces instantly recognizable. They a...
Posted by renegade with a hand grenade" on Wed, 24 Oct 2007 01:04:00 PST