Are you a Band/Entertainer/Celebrity who feels unloved?
Are you not getting the full adoration and relentless, never-ending, dedicated devotion worthy of your talents?
Do you get out of bed in the mornings, open your curtains, AND NOBODY'S THERE!?!?...WATCHING!
Then Stalkers 'R' Us.Com has the answer!
We offer the very best and most sought after Stalking Service on the planet! You will never again have to feel alone and unloved - because with Stalkers 'R' Us.Com....someone will always be watching (weather conditions and hormonal changes permitting).
Take out one of our exciting 'package deals' today and enjoy INSTANT SUPERSTAR STATUS!
Our most popular services include:
Page Lurking Cyber Knicker Throwing Top Stalked Band of the Week......and many more!
DON'T FORGET - You're not really anyone until you've been stalked by us!!!!!
Terms and Conditions apply; please see blog for details.
Due to supply and demand issues (a high number of stalkees as opposed to a limited number of stalkers) we regret that our stalking services are restricted to Bands only for the foreseeable future.
If you are an average, normal person and you require a stalker, we suggest that you check back at a later date: as we are unable to help you and can only offer friendship at this time.
Ms.R and Ms.W (THE MANAGEMENT).
CURRENT VACANCIES Please see blog for latest info!!