Jessica - ProfilesArchive

About Me

Do I want to be feared or loved? Ummm...easy, both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.

My Interests

Sleeping, I'm really into sleeping right now. Finding an easy and stress-free way to quit smoking. Figuring out what space is actually expanding into, if it is in fact expanding. Drawing. Painting. Making inappropriate comments. Drinking. Figuring out what my insanely vivid dreams mean. Playing with my wonderfully beautiful and funny children. Keeping myself looking top notch without looking like I put too much effort into it. Making music. Listening to music. Making the occasional drunken prank phone call(s). Laughing hysterically with my rowdy friends. Reading good books. Men. Wondering what happens to us when we die. Mind reading. So on and so forth......I'll put more when I can stop staring out my window.

Music:

Books:

I like 'em......Hunter T., Henry Miller, Roald Dahl, Carlos Castaneda, John Irving, Anne Rice, Brett Easton Ellis, Stephen Hawking, Vladimir Nabakov, Aristotle, Pablo Neruda............... David Sedaris is my absolute favorite.

My Blog

Whore Moans

It's not often I think I would rather be a man, actually hardly ever, but today was one of those days. I would have rather had a pecker today than a baby cave. I was in a bad mood from the momen...
Posted by Jessica on Mon, 29 Jan 2007 10:03:00 PST

Prescription for hornet catching

And yet another bizaare dream last night: I was in some sort of office with Steve Carrell and we were making fun of another employee who was either mentally retarded or really stupid. I can't remember...
Posted by Jessica on Sat, 11 Nov 2006 02:20:00 PST

Crawling inside a cow's ass

Lately I have been having epic and disturbing dreams. This one I feel like sharing because...well, you'll see. I thought this medication was supposed to make me less insane. I dreamed that ...
Posted by Jessica on Fri, 10 Nov 2006 03:21:00 PST

Thanks

So last night I came home from school and noticed my yard was mowed. Let's just say that I don't mow my lawn...ever. I hate it. I absolutely despise doing yardwork so usually I can get my dad to do i...
Posted by Jessica on Tue, 10 Oct 2006 07:02:00 PST

Genocide is where it's at

My kids daycare 2 days ago... I was waiting in line behind 2 morbidly obese women so that I could speak with the daycare director about...Jesus, about some things I could write an entirely different b...
Posted by Jessica on Fri, 22 Sep 2006 12:29:00 PST

All my dreams have come true

Last night my 3 year old son learned how to open the refrigerator and get mommy a beer. Here was the scenario: "Daniel, do you think you can go open the refrigerator and get mommy a beer?" "YEAH!...
Posted by Jessica on Thu, 14 Sep 2006 07:56:00 PST

Dumbass

So this morning when I dropped the midgets off at daycare that fucking minivan-driving dickhole (my nemesis) was parked diagonally across the spots so there wasn't any available spaces. He took u...
Posted by Jessica on Thu, 17 Aug 2006 08:15:00 PST

You Got Your Sunshine On

Sometimes I get uncontrollable fits of nervous, manic laughter. It's usually while I am driving or in a classroom...sometimes work meetings. Yesterday, I was driving down 10th street and decided to st...
Posted by Jessica on Tue, 15 Aug 2006 08:40:00 PST

Parental Advisory

This blog is going to be filled to the brim with a lot of "fucks" and "goddamns" so if you don't like it, don't read it motherfucker. Goddamn hormones. I swear to god I want to just fucking kill someo...
Posted by Jessica on Wed, 09 Aug 2006 07:01:00 PST

Mental Note

* Learn Spanish so I can figure out what the fuck is going on with that Sabado Gigante show. That shit is crazy!
Posted by Jessica on Fri, 14 Jul 2006 08:03:00 PST