J David Osborne profile picture

J David Osborne

the one-man mustache

About Me

Stories by me:

Self Defense at Verbicide Online

You'd get a perfect feel for me if I could just find the time to make one of those cute little custom South Park avatars.

I'm working on my novel, THE CALF, that's due out this winter from Swallowdown Press.

I read way too many comic books.

My Interests

Reading, writing, guitar, music, movies, poker, gators, zoos, flying sans airplanes, diarrhea

I'd like to meet:

Warren Ellis, Darick Robertson, Garth Ennis, Brian K. Vaughan, Ben Templesmith, Ariel Levy, Rob G, Brian Wood, Chuck Palahniuk, Danijel Zezelj, Will Christopher Baer, , Aesop Rock, Wayne Coyne, Brian Azzarello, people who like to read and write and punch

Movies:

Fight Club, The Departed, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Hard Boiled, Children of Men, Ichi the Killer, Black Snake Moan, 300, Versus, anything that keeps the action and originality high and keeps the bullshit low. I have no patience for slow art type flicks or anything that takes way too long to set up. I have ADD or something.

Television:

DEADWOOD, Six Feet Under, The Office, South Park, Band of Brothers, Carnivale

Books:

"INFINITE JEST" (great book or greatest book?)"Rant" and all the Chuck Palahniuk books pre-Lullaby, the Jude books by Baer, anything by Cody Goodfellow, "The Average American Male", a few of the classics like "Catcher in the Rye", I read the first few pages of David Mitchell's "Number 9 Dream" in a B&N and it definitely didn't suck.

Comic Books:

SCALPED, Fell, Preacher, Desolation Jones, The Boys, DMZ, Transmetropolitan, Y: The Last Man, Brian Azzarello's Loveless, The Exterminators, Ex Machina, the first trade paperback of 30 Days of Night

Heroes:

stacey rios the evil one (stubs)

My Blog

i failed a test/novel progress/my daily routine

I'm completely positive I failed a Spanish exam today.  The funny thing is, I speak Spanish very decently for a whitey, I just get confused when I read the shit.  Don't know why.My car was i...
Posted by J David Osborne on Thu, 27 Sep 2007 09:05:00 PST

eastern promises

If you are the kind of sheep that gets all excited and make expectations based on an awesome review, and then the movie doesn't live up to what you THINK it should be because you had something in your...
Posted by J David Osborne on Sat, 22 Sep 2007 10:21:00 PST

primerica wants to butt-fuck you

$17.92 for two people to eat at Souper Salad?  My ass was already hurting.Stacey Rios the Evil One aka Stubs works at Sears.  She rings you up, have a nice day, on you go.  One day this...
Posted by J David Osborne on Mon, 10 Sep 2007 09:20:00 PST

preacher is the most disappointing comic book of all time

You had me excited after "War in the Sun.""Salvation" would have been decent in a completely different comic, but here became completely unbelievable and retardedly clunky.  You stopped a rivetin...
Posted by J David Osborne on Mon, 10 Sep 2007 06:51:00 PST

story of mine over at verbicide online

If you have a moment or two, mosey on over to Verbicide Online and check out my short story "Self Defense" under the "Fiction" section.  It won't take up too much of your time, it's really short....
Posted by J David Osborne on Mon, 03 Sep 2007 05:59:00 PST

met jason aaron (writer of "scalped") today

He had a signing over on Western at Atomic Comics.For anyone familiar with the Norman/OKC area:  Atomik Pop! >>>> Atomic Comics.It's tucked away in this dusty, crumbling strip mall that reminded ...
Posted by J David Osborne on Sun, 02 Sep 2007 09:48:00 PST

stephen king is the fucking man

Haters can suck it.  The man is a damn good writer.I say this because I read a lot of "cool kid" hate for King on the Cult, and it pissed me off.Here are some facts for you:Stephen King wrote:Pet...
Posted by J David Osborne on Tue, 21 Aug 2007 09:09:00 PST

INLAND EMPIRE

Here's my fucking analysis:  SCARIEST MOVIE OF ALL TIME.I've never actually cowered away from the television during a flick.  I've gotten on the edge of my seat (or pillow, or whatever), but...
Posted by J David Osborne on Thu, 16 Aug 2007 10:19:00 PST

work it up

College is too expensive.  I am probably going to be quitting until I have money and don't have to worry about little things like eating.  I have weighed the pros and cons, and I think that ...
Posted by J David Osborne on Sat, 11 Aug 2007 10:28:00 PST

some crazy lady yelled at me

My dog, Kahlua, is a blue heeler/Australian Shepherd mix with a shit ton of energy.  Ask anyone who's met her.  She is nuts.I love her to death, but she needs exercise.  I can't have he...
Posted by J David Osborne on Thu, 02 Aug 2007 02:52:00 PST