The finer things in life: rock and roll, copious substance abuse, promiscuity, racism, righteous indignation, shenannigans of all types, and the gaggle of colorful characters with whom I cavort. What's more, I have a burning contempt for the many hobbies and interests of others and find most of them offensive beyond words.
Like most people, I would like to meet that special someone with whom I share a deep and profound connection, both emotionally and physically. My soulmate, if you will. Someone to share all the joy and pain of life as well as lots of weird sexual practices I looked up on the internet. However, I would like said connection to last a maximum of 10 hours, after which I would like to abruptly loose any interest in my soulmate. Then I would go party with my friends, play rock shows, and look for other short-term soulmates and begin the whole cycle again. Hopefully, the aforementioned soulmate would be down to hook up occationally and rekindle our deep and profound love for a couple of hours. I would also like to meet Will Ferrell. He's hilarious.
Melvins, Husker Du, Jesus Lizard, Black Sabbath, Iron Maiden, Mastodon, Tupac, R. Kelly, Bob Dylan, Dr. Dre, The Smiths, The Stones, The Animals, Sex Pistols, The Boss, Handsome Boy Modeling School, Hall and Oates, Neil Young, Most things Motown, Ryan Adams, The Sundays, Cheap Trick, The Cows, Black Flag, Jerry Jeff Walker, Satyricon, Burzum, Richard Hell and the Voidoids, Guided By Voices, Ice Cube, PJ Harvey, Dinosaur Jr, Shudder To think, Oasis, Fugazi, Frank Zappa, Big Black, Lozen, Cro-Mags, Soul Asylum, 400 Blows, Zep, Dio, New York Dolls, Van Halen, Stone Roses, Joni Mitchell, Ornette Coleman, Suicide, Trans Am, Butthole Surfers, Minutemen,Merle Haggard, some other stuff I'm forgetting for the moment.
I am kept awake nights pondering whether Fletch or The Jerk is the best movie ever. You can probably guess from there.
Sopranos, Simpsons, Family Guy, Aquateen Hunger Force, all varieties of Law and Order, NYPD Blue.
Anything Bukowski, Hunter S. Thompson, trashy rock biographies, David Sedaris, Henry Miller, and most of the typical misanthropic drunk guy stuff.
Rodney Dangerfield, Sammy Davis Jr, Chevy Chase before he turned into a total dick, Ted Kaczinski, Blackbeard the Pirate, Bruce Lee, Detective Sipowitz, Jello Biafra, Hunter S. Thompson, Henry Chinaski, Leslie Neilsen, Ed O'Neil, Jimmy Page, Kurupt, Chris Farley, Larry Flynt, Belush, bank robbers.