Dutch - ProfilesArchive

About Me

Hey what's up, I'm Dutch, the real Dutch. For too long pussies have smeared my good name all over myspace posing as me. I am karate's only bad boy, fuck Mike Barnes. I didn't have to suck off Terry Silver and Snake to get the title. Mike Barnes is a dork anyway, I mean check out his lame haircut.For those who only saw the video of the '84 All Valley Tournament, you didn't see what really went down. That punk Danielle only scored one point on me, so how did he win? Sensei Kreese actually tossed me a pair of brass knucks when the ref wasn't looking and screamed 'NO MERCY!!!!'. I won the match, even though I didn't need an equalizer, but when the ref came to raise my hand in victory I couldn't get the knucks off in time, costing me the match. I know i could've gone to the finals taken it all. Everyone in Cobra Kai knew I was the baddest motherfucker there...even Johnny.All the members of Cobra Kai are still my brothers though, except for that fat guy who got his ass kicked at All Valley. Sometimes Bobby can be a real pussy too. I swear, I think that dude was born with a vagina.

My Interests

Karate, practicing no mercy, smoking weed in the boys room, raising hell with my crew on our yamahas, being the best...around, not letting anything keep me down, making fun of danielle while he's talking, jumping up and down with my thumbs up, kicking asses just cause I can, drinking warm beer tommy stole from his old man, making danielle's stay in cali a living nightmare, driving by golf and stuff, looking like a maniac, bleaching my hair, taking one for the team, telling people they're dead meat and mostly hanging out with with my Cobra Kai brothers Tommy, Johnny, Bobby, and Jimmy

I'd like to meet:

Well, I already made it with Ali, while she was going out with Danielle. The ladies love a bad boy. Sorry Johnny. I'd like to meet up with Mike Barnes for a non-sanctioned ass kicking. Next time I see that fat Cobra Kai I'll make sure to punch him in the face for Sensei. I knew it was a mistake for Kreese to keep him around just so he could be our punching bag. Oh and Danielle, next time we meet, Bobby isn't gonna be there to save your ass. No mercy.Here's some of the trash the Cobra Kai have defeated in recent history. We especially showed no mercy in humiliating Chuck Norris.

Music:

I only listen to hard ass shit like Bill Conti original scores and Joe Esposito's "You're the Best Around" when I'm training for all valley. In the off season Broken Edge is okay, but I'm pretty pissed since I loaned Bobby my only mix tape with "The Ride" by Matches on it. I can't find that song anywhere...Bobby, if you find a cassette that says "Awesome Cobra Kai Mix Tape No.6" on it, it's mine bro! Bobby you're really pushing it with Dutch man..Now that I think of it, it also had that badass song we were playing as we chased Danielle on our bikes ( too bad he didn't die from the fall) and that song that we were listening to while Johnny beat Danielle's ass at the beach on it. Bobby, Kai or no Kai...you're dead meat...dead meat.

Movies:

the karate kid part I, the karate kid part II, the karate kid part III.

Television:

TV is for the weak. Except for when they're showing kk1-3 or somethin'

Books:

Black Belt magazine and this new book Terry Silver loaned me on front sweeps. The book's still got Mike Barnes blood on it! yeaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!

Heroes:

John Kreese and Terry Silver. Those two guys prepared us Kais for the harshness of the real world.

My Blog

THE KING FINALLY DESTROYED!!!

I'm patient. When it seems like the kai is down, that's when you need to worry. The lynch mob has been sucking on our cocks since day one, hoping to achieve half of what the beloved kai has on myspace...
Posted by Dutch on Wed, 22 Mar 2006 10:51:00 PST

DANZA RUNNING SCARED!!

ya know, I have no problem allowing insulting comments on my page. I could care less. But this is not the case when it comes to danza. Seems like I hit a nerve there when I left a comment on his page ...
Posted by Dutch on Wed, 15 Mar 2006 02:07:00 PST

LYNCH MOB CONCEDES DEFEAT!!!!

Sooner or later, it was inevitable that the lynch mob would break for good. In the last couple weeks we've infiltrated them and destroyed their pages too many times to keep count. Not only that, the ...
Posted by Dutch on Wed, 15 Mar 2006 11:53:00 PST

KURGAN's RELEASE AND PHOTOS

UPDATE: Kurgan was released today by local officials after new evidence had been found linking the murders of Erik Nobody of Salem and his average looking girlfriend to none other than Fat Nik. Fat Ni...
Posted by Dutch on Fri, 27 Jan 2006 05:48:00 PST

ERIK's BODY FOUND!!

My buddy Project was reading the paper this morning and came accross this.... Recently another deush bag came to battle the Cobra Kai and failed miserably. 27 year old Eric Nobody of Salem,...
Posted by Dutch on Thu, 26 Jan 2006 12:54:00 PST

ERIK DESTROYED!!!!

Thanks to Kurgan and myself Erik(gay spelling?) has been destroyed completely!! See, Erik was leaving comments like a tough guy while I wasn't around. Now that pussy will think twice before he fucks w...
Posted by Dutch on Thu, 26 Jan 2006 11:42:00 PST

FAT NIK HAS CONCEDED DEFEAT!!!!

Fat Nik has finally succumb to the power of the Cobra Kai. It turns out Nik could not back up all his trash talking and wrote me this message on his knees, not to mention removing Chuck Norris(his fal...
Posted by Dutch on Sat, 17 Dec 2005 04:10:00 PST

UPDATE: CHUCK NORRIS MURDER

In a strange turn of events, Chuck Norris murder suspect John Kreese was acquitted of all charges and released from jail this morning. Police offered their apologies to Kreese after finding the real a...
Posted by Dutch on Wed, 14 Dec 2005 03:39:00 PST

CHUCK NORRIS' BODY FOUND

After weeks of round the clock searching, Chuck Norris' body has been found in Reseda. The has-been actors autopsy concluded that Norris had died from loss of blood due to his leg being severed at the...
Posted by Dutch on Wed, 14 Dec 2005 03:33:00 PST

MIKE TYSON FOUND DEAD

Mike Tyson was found dead early this morning. His body was discovered in the slave quarters of Brian Dennehy's 600 acre plantation. Police officials believe that a neck-shackled tyson attempted to esc...
Posted by Dutch on Wed, 14 Dec 2005 03:28:00 PST