devilpants profile picture

devilpants

saudade

About Me

I like short-shorts and men who wear them. I also enjoy masterbating into my mouth. Man at illegal video slot machine: "hey boy, who are you?"Me: "Me? Well Im fucking stupendous."Man at illegal video slot machine laughs and puts more money into an obviously rigged machine.

My Interests

Scratch-offs. I need a job, so I can buy Scratch-offs, make a million-zillion dollars and quit my job. Fuck Yeah, American Dream here I come.

I'd like to meet:

My Fairy Godfather and the person who invented edible jock straps.(Can you say 'yummy') And i'd like to meet Mr. Bubbles, he seems like a fun fellow.

Music:

right now im listening to rorshach and Off Da Pigs. Oh, wait a minute. fuck chris horaney. record breaking peice of shitt.

Movies:

Anybody who dosen't get at least a little choked up at the beginning of the second tape of "The Sound of Music" when julie andr(Aragorn would totally kick Luke Skywalkers ass in a fight)ews comes back from the convent deserves to be beaten with sticks then set aflame, because that means they are souless and evil and are probably witches.

Television:

good eats tells me what is good. any lifetime movie.

Books:

penthouse letters magazine. its about sex. real sex that really happened to real people who really wrote the trut(did I really write this stuff)h about the real sex that they totally had. my life is too a chronicle of fantastic and sexy encounters that i feel the need to share with all of the other truthful folks who contribute to that fine publication.

Heroes:

Paul Robeson, and Oliver Reed. oh, and apparantly Aragorn. but i didnt write that, i am just not motivated to change that shit. Anyone who can felate themselves.

My Blog

any one can do better than me

    I would like to say that despite recent claims of stupendousness and being gods gift to women, i am in fact NOT worth the effort. they sell things at adult bookstores that with a fe...
Posted by devilpants on Sun, 16 Jul 2006 08:53:00 PST

The must be building a donut shop in my neighborhood

    because there is a shitload of cops swarming the streets between the 7-11 and the fishbowl. i saw a total of six of those fuckers camped out in a 2 square block area. im just glad t...
Posted by devilpants on Fri, 26 May 2006 09:56:00 PST