i looooooove whittling things. like sticks, soap, rocks, you name it, i whittle it. judge all you want, but do it at your own risk, lest i whittle your FACE off
Jesus! haha just kidding. i don't even know who that is
You know, i used to like music a lot more. And it's not that i don't still love music, cuz i do, it's just that i haven't heard anything new in a while that's really inspired me. And, like anything with life, it's not how much you love something, it's how much it has done for you lately. But what i really love is wicked bob-your-head beats, melody and hooks and heaviness. Not necessarily all combined. But i love System of a Down, Queens of the Stone Age, Franz Ferdinand, Cake, Arctic Monkeys, Nirvana, Beatles, Daft Punk, Postal Service, Weezer, Atomosphere, Bright Eyes, Hives, Chemical Brothers, Strokes, White Stripes, Interpol, Rancid, Pepe Deluxe, Johnny Cash, chili peppers....ok i guess leaning on pop and mainstream. there's a lot more. those aren't even my favorites. well i guess they are, at least to some degree, since those were the ones that came to my head. i dunno it's kinda rare to find a band or whatever where you like every single one of their songs. i hate shit though. shitty music sucks. but i'm sure your definition of shit differs from mine. that's too bad.
I like movies where a lot of people die and/or fall in love. It's also cool if they're being funny while they're doing that. Any Coen brothers movie, but especially Miller's Crossing, Big Lebowski, Man Who Wasn't There, Ladykillers and Fargo. Bad Santa was fucking hilarious. Memento, Batman Begins, those are solid. Trippy shit i love, like Adaptation, Eternal Sunshine and Being John Malkovich. 40 year old Virgin was pretty fuckin hilarious. Any movie that's made by a scientologist or stars one is dead to me. That includes anything by Paul Haggis (Million Dollar Baby, Crash), anything with Jason Lee (i know, used to love him too, but fuck, his fault not mine) and Tom Cruise. Although with Tom Cruise, i watched Collateral, War of the Worlds and Vanilla Sky on acid (not all at once), so those movies are burned into my brain as super awesome. Fuck you Tom Cruise, you fuckin weirdo zombie cunt fuck. Juliette Lewis is a scientologist too eh? My friend once told me that no one plays gettin beat up by her redneck boyfriend as good as Juliette Lewis. True words. Fuckin Oldboy is sick sick sick. Infernal Affairs, sick as shit. Saving Private Ryan, sick. Old favorites like Forrest Gump (tell me you don't like it you robot) and Pulp Fiction. Anything by Quentin Tarantino, but that goes without saying. Bringing out the dead! Forgot about that one. Almost anything by Martin Scorsese, if it involves guns (Goodfellas, Casino). i dunno. i have a whole fucking box of movies. you think i'm joking, but i'm not.
Two words: Arrested Development. It's the epitome of what television is capable of acheiving. it's the media's version of peace on earth and harmony with all...so just be glad that you were alive to experience it. If you don't like arrested development, that's ok. but fuck you. The Office is my second favorite show. Not the British one. i can't stand it. i can't even understand half the fuckin things they're saying, and when i do it's like, oh ha ha, dry british humour, i get it. that's cute. no really. Ugh. I can't stand Britishness these days. So sorry if you're British and you're reading this, but i don't know any British people, so i guess whatever. To be fair, it's mainly because of that fucking movie, The Constant Gardner that made me really hate them. The UK office just drove it home. I'll prolly get out of it one day, but who cares? The guy from Dead Like Me is funny though. Oh yeah, i'm kind of obsessed with Stephen Colbert (Anyone can *read* the news *to* you, but i'm the only one that *feels* the news *at* you). Jon Stewart, of course, is the man. Hey, anyone out there used to watch Mr Show? Funny fuckin shit....David Cross, funniest man alive. Six Feet Under, but that's over. The Sopranos. I used to really like My Name Is Earl, but both Jason Lee AND Ethan Suplee are scientologists, so they are dead to me. Ali G hahahahahaha. Oh man. My life would be complete (no it wouldn't) if they made another season of Ali G. Or at least more Borat. Family Guy too of course, but watch one episode, you've basically watched all of them. Futurama is suprisingly poignant at times. Weeds is kinda good too, but what's up with weed being dealt like cocaine? There was this one episode where she goes to her dealer's house and some guy shoots up the house on a drive by. holy shit! that's some hardcore buzzkilling right there. stoners doing drive by's = world's slowest drive by
Hey Nostradamus! by Douglas Coupland is one of the most touching yet hardcore books i have ever read. A brief fling of a read too. Anything by him is pretty good. Generation X is cool (he coined the phrase!), and so is Life After God. The Corrections by Jonathan Franzen is one of my favorites. Where did that book go anyways. I think i bought it twice. Fuckin hilarious in that depressing sort of way. I like the fact that the book was chosen by Oprah, and the author was all like, dude, Oprah's books suck, and then she got pissed off and unrecommended the book. Irvine Welsh is a genius. He's almost like the AC/DC of authors: he's only ever really written one book if you think about it, but what a book it is. Trainspotting, Acid House, Marabou Stork Nightmares, Porno, Filth. Love 'em. Dave Eggers, with A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius and You Shall Know Our Velocity! are excellent reads as well. I kinda find it hard to get into them, even though i consciously know it's good, but once you do, it's just breezes along. Heard dude was kind of an ass though. Oh well, who isn't?
Spider-man is definitely my favorite hero. He makes wisecracks while he fights! how cool is that? Like, making funny wisecracks is an art to itself. You can't be too goofy, but you can't be too cutting. And fighting? I've never personally been in a fist fight that i remember, but i imagine it to be pretty hard. i mean, if i had the powers of a radioactive spider coursing through my blood, maybe it'd be different. but in the here and now, yeah. i'd prolly get my ass kicked. unless i had a weapon, like some sort of pipe. not too heavy though, cuz it'd be hard to swing. Like i'd take a huge swing, and he'd duck it, and then punch me in the kidneys, and i'd drop the pipe, and he pop me in the face, fight over. a sword would be cool, but that's a pretty hardcore fight. like if i fucked up, i'd be dead. yeah, i wouldn't choose the sword. maybe like a piece of wood with a dirty infected nail at the end, like hacksaw jim dugan. but it's hard to look cool with that, so whatever. i dunno. nunchucks are kind of hard to control. i tried it once, and ended up hitting myself in the face. no i didn't. who the fuck has nunchucks? this fact is real though. if you ever go to someone's house, and they have shitloads of weapons, like swords on the wall or weird sticks that look vaguely asian, brass knuckles...they usually can't fight. the more weapons you own, the less you can fight. this doesnt' mean that the less weapons you own, the better you can fight. but i'm just sayin. usually when you have a lot of peripherals....that's cuz you suck just on your own. kind of like batman. but batman was trained or some shit. and he was rich. he's so rich that he could technically just pay someone to be his batman. that should be his thing. bruce wayne should outsource his batman persona. he could probably do more with his day, and still acheive the same results. the best thing about it? if one dies, you just replace them (like the ultimate warrior or don cherry's dogs).