Tamz profile picture

Tamz

The Lunacies of Tamz

About Me


CLICK HERE FOR SOME HOT INFO ABOUT ME!
Proud Member Of PROOF Paranormal:
Proud TAPS Family Member:
"Pesez le matin que vous n'irez peut-etre pas jusqu'au soir, Et au soir que vous n'irez peut-etre pas jusqu'au matin."
"Be aware every morning that you may not last the day, And every evening that you may not last the night."
LET'S BRING THEM HOME!
I am asking that people please go and read my blog, and comment on what they read. First, I can tell you that you will know more about me, and why I am the way I am, than through any profile in existence of me, or even talking to me for that matter. Second, I am getting my writings together to be published, and I am asking for the help of my friends to pick them out. So read, and comment, and I shall pick which ones I decide to put in the publish stack from the comments I recieve! Thanks! (Blog To Come Soon)
I am your greatest hopes...I am your greatest fears...I am your wet dreams...yet I'm your worst nightmares. I am all you ever wanted...I am all you ever hated...I am a contradiction of myself!
Before we go on...please note that ALL of my writings and photographs are protected under the U.S. copyright office. Anyone caught stealing ANYTHING will be prosecuted! Especially if it is my writing. I do not screw around when it comes to my writing, as it is my whole life. It is the one thing I have in this world that is truly mine. You see, I have had my writings stolen before, and it quite literally tore my heart out. My writing is everything to me. It is my feelings...my life experiences...my pain...and my hope, so please do not take that from me! To get YOUR poetry, writing, or pictures copywritten, visit U.S.COPYRIGHT OFFICE for information and instructions on how to do so! Thanks a lot for understanding!
On a different note, as I said before, I welcome, and even encourage comments on my writing...please, feel free to read my blog, and comment. All coments will be responded to. I read and love all of them. Thanks!
My NEW website, which is still in it's infancy, is now underway. I will be working on it daily, and I welcome any feedback. Go ahead, and visit. It is going to be an extensive subculture/cluture, and religion site. There will also be an extensive music site as well. Please bear with me while it is under construction, as it is a lot of effort and research to put a site like this one together! The site will be moving to it's own domain shortly after it's completion. (Website to be announced)
I have a special note to the stupid moronic idiots who keep on stealing pics from me and my friends, and posting them as thier own pics...you know who you are you imbiciles! GROW UP AND STOP TRYING TO BE SOMEONE ELSE! If your self esteem is such that you have to be a stupid identity-photo-thief then you should not even be here amongst those who are truly real. GROW UP! GET A LIFE, AND LEAVE THOSE OF US WHO WANT TO BE WHO WE ARE WITHOUT SOME MORON TAKING THAT AWAY FROM US, ALONE! Sheesh :|
Okay...Now I have sucessfully procratinated talking about me...so here it goes. I am a sensitive person, though I do hide it from others. You need to show me you care before I will show you me. I care very deeply. Almost too deeply. That makes me very fragile. Be careful. I do break easily, especially if I trust you. I have a gigantic heart with a lot of love and room in it if you are lucky enough to work in there. I love people, and I have a very special place in my heart for animals and children. I am a writer, and a violinist. I am a singer, composer, and songwriter. I am a loner...by location, not choice most of the time, but some of the time I sit and watch others, and I think about things a lot. Way too much I think. I look into homes...and see families in there. I find I long for that...A family. I have not had one. I am sometimes depressed, and I have been called a drama queen...but if you give me a chance you will find the real me behind all of that. People either love me or hate me...and I know of people who do both. I am in a constant search for inner peace, and with help from best friends, and my baby, I finally found it! I guess if you wish to know more, than ask.
One thing I do wonder? Why do you steryotype me? I am not you, and I will not become one of your catagories.
THINGS THAT I LIKE:
Before all else, my little sweetie pie nieces and nephew, and my gorgeous and awesome sister. I do so adore them...more than anything! These four people hold my heart. I would give up my life for them...ANYDAY! They are my ultimate likes! YAY!
I am completely in love with one of the most wonderful men ever, Francis . He is in my heart and part of my heart. Thank you baby for being so patient, and loving with me, and allowing me to find myself, so I could be a better person! I love you!
I like music. I live for music. That is all I have in my life is music. I don't talk to many people, so music has always been something of great importance to me. I am a musician. A violinist. A singer. A songwriter. A composer. I am me...the musician. I like honesty...I do not lie to ohers and I do not like lying done to me. I love animals. I love my bed. I like to curl up in there and forget of the events of the day. I like friends...I like meeting people from all over the world. I am not a fake. I am who I am. I will not pretend so you will like me. I am not like that. I crave for peace in this world. I do not understand why we have to hurt each other. I love the human race, and I believe we all are here for something. So why not just get along?
THINGS THAT I DISLIKE:
Judgemental, and narrow-minded people. We all want to be who we are no matter what society says. That is all I am is me. No one else. No more, no less.What you see is what you get with me. If you don't like it...who cares. I probably wouldn't like you anyway! I LOATHE child abusers, violence against women, children, men, or animals. I hate rape, as it takes away your soul. I loathe liars, fakes, Nazis, racists, homophobes, and people who use others without care. I can not tolerate anyone harming a person because of thier sexuality and/or gender. I would risk my life to save others. I can not take it when I see hate crimes. I also dislike people who come up to me because of the way I look, and assume I am a devil worshipper and start to "save" my soul. People who tell me I am evil, going to Hell, etc...I am the FARTHEST thing from any of that. That is a prime example of how some religious people create walls between people...So for the tract guys...and thanks for the telling me I am going to hell...what you do not know is I already have been there...in this life. And I have survived it...
A special note to the idiots who message me saying "if you get on cam, send me pictures, etc no one will have to know" BITE ME! I am with someone whom I love and I am not going to do that shit so give up on it already. If you people keep on with it, be prepared. Because you will NOT like me when I tell you what I really think of people like you :), nor will you like what my man has to say!
So kindly piss off.
Oh one more thing. I really dislike people who can not leave well enough alone. There are more important things in life than dragging out some dumb fight that in the grand sceme of things, is pointless. Wake up people, and start seeing life for that which really matters. Becuase you are missing out on a lot of the gifts life has in it. Because of your own stupidity. No one elses.
HER LINKS: Here Are Links To Places You Should Go Check Out. If You Don't You Suck KThx. No, But Seriously Check Them Out! :D

My Interests



I am interested in such wide spectrum of things, it is hard to even list them.

Music:

Music is one thing I hold higher than anything in my likes. I am a violinist, and a singer. I write songs, and compose them as well. Music is top priority in my world. It's like "I don't care if I eat today, as long as I can get my music equiptment, I am good. I will eat Ramen noodles!" :D

Medicine:

I love medicine. Not as in pills, but the medical profession. I am obsessed with all things medical. I go to the local hospitals and read the books in the medical library almost every day. I volunteer at the hospitals, because I love it there. I love to learn things about medicine. So when the medical libraries throw away the old books for the new, I take them home. I read them. Currently I am reading a book called Pulmonary Diseases Volume One. It is an almost 2, 000 page book. When I am done I will read volumes 2, and 3. I retain a lot of what I read. I love it. It is facinating.

Ciminology/Forensics/Criminal Profiling:

I have an interest in the criminal mind. No, I am NOT one of those "criminals are awesome and I worship them" types. I just find studying them, studying the cases, thier backgrounds, thier lives, thier minds facinating. I just wonder what it is that pushes a person to cross that line...the line into actually doing something. This might have soemthing to do with being friends with people in the criminal justice system, and the fact that my sister as well as some friends of mine are into the criminal profiling.

Culture/Societal Studies:

I love the goth culture. I actually to be honest love culture period. I love to learn all I can about different races, religions, countries, states, jobs, histories, clultures, sub-cultures, everything. I have no judgements towards anyone for things they do, provided it is not hurting someone who wishes not to be hurt. I study everything I can, and determine what is mine, and what is not mine. Those things I determine as not mine, I do not judge others for doing. For what is yours may not be mine, and what is mine may not be yours. We are all people, and like it or not, we all are here and have to deal with others. So we may as well stop being judgemental and nasty and learn to open up and learn before making a decision.

Religion and spirituality:

I love to study these things. Whilst I do not subscribe to one type of thinking on this subject per say, I do study and find that there are things I agree with, and things I dissagree with. I create my own spirituality based on what I feel is right for me. So pretty much I believe in God, not rules and regulations, though I do have standards and morals. I may be wrong, I may be right. Who cares? I think if believing in something no matter what it is, if it gets you through the day and goves you hope. It is a wonderful thing for you. Just please do not force your beliefs on me. I welcome all discussions on beliefs etc, but the minute you start to tell me I should believe, or that I am wrong for not, the discussion is over, as I will end up whiping those people with verses out of thier own bibles and show them they may not be as holier-than-thou as they like to claim.

Philosophy:

I love how it raises more questions, and prompts others to actually think. Philisophical writers also are a fave of mine....Ponderings, and questions that have no answers save for man's theories on them. I love it. Philisophical debates are the best!

The Paranormal:

I am now web researcher for the Ohio branch of PROOF Paranormal! :D

I have been interested in the paranormal since I was a small child due to living in a house that was haunted for many years. You may see a lot of my friends are paranormal investigators etc. And they are awesome. Some of them are PROOF Paranormal, and TAPS (The Atlantic Paranormal Society). They can be found at:

PROOF Paranormal

TAPS

Some other links where awesome people in this field can be found are as follows:

North Florida Paranormal Research, Inc.
Ghost Tracker Investigations

More to follow as the links come in...

If you wish to have your paranormal group added here, please message me...and for those I talk to on a regular basis, well you turds know where to find me so get me there k?

There are so many more things but if I list them all, I will never shut up. If you wish to know, ask.

I'd like to meet:

Before anyone else, I want to be in my baby's arms. He is the most wonderful person I have met! I Love you Francis ! Also my sis Jess Jess. I LOVE YOU! Besides that, I would like to meet anybody. Unless you are one of the types of people listed in my dislikes. Guys, girls it does not matter. But to the guys. Don't be perving out on me, and hitting on me, because I will not tolerate that crap, and you WILL see a side of me you will not like. So no, You do not get titty pictures. No I am NOT gonna open up and snap a picture for you. I am not a porn star. You want that, go find one. You respect me, I respect you. That is the bottom line :)

Beyond that one, I would like to meet people who work in music, media, computers, photography, and art. I am into those things, and it would be cool to meet some like minded people. :)

Music:

I love music in general, so I am pretty eclectic in my tastes. However, It has to have some sort of substance to it. I put this list together, though it is not finished yet. I have the links for all bands I put in here, so if you wish to explore, click the links :)
Here are SOME of my faves...

THINGS THAT YOU MIGHT EXPECT ME TO LISTEN TO:

AFI

A Perfect Circle

All That Remains

Amen

Arch Enemy

Atreyu

Bauhaus

Behemoth
*E-Mail:Nergal*
*E-Mail:Manticore*

Beyond the Embrace
*E-Mail:Beyond the Embrace*

Black Dahlia Murder

Bleeding Through

Bowie, David

Cannibal Corpse

Children of Bodom

Chimaira

Coal Chamber

Cold

Cradle of Filth

Cryptopsy

Cure,The

Curl Up & Die

Deadsy

Depeche Mode

Destiny
*E-Mail:Destiny*

Dimmu Borgir

Disillusion

Distillers,The

Disturbed

Dope

Dry Kill Logic
*E-Mail:Cliff Rigano-vocals*
*E-Mail:Jason Bozzi-guitars*
*E-Mail:Phil Arcuri-Drums*
*E-Mail:Danny Horboychuk-Bass*

Dying Fetus
*E-Mail:Dying Fetus*

Ektomorf

Eighteen Visions
*E-Mail Eighteen Visions*

Electrelane
*E-Mail:Electrelane*

Evanescence

Evil Incarnate
*E-Mail:Mike Eisenhauer *

Faith No More

Flaw

Fleshcrawl

Garbage

Genitorturers

Gidget Gein and the Daligaggers (Former Bassist of Marilyn Manson)
*E-Mail:Gidget Gein and the Dalligaggers*

Glampire

Goat Whore

Godhead
*E-Mail:Godhead*

Godsmack

GWAR
*E-Mail:Flattus Maximus* ,
*E-Mail:Jizmak Da Gusha*

Haste the Day
*E-Mail:Haste the Day*

Hatebreed

Heaven Shall Burn
*E-Mail:Heaven Shall Burn*

Himsa
*E-Mail:Himsa*

Impaled Nazarene
*E-Mail:repe misanthrope-drums*
*E-Mail:onraj 9mm-guitar* ,
*E-Mail:slutifer-vocals*
*E-Mail:tuomio-guitar*
*E-Mail:arc v 666-bass*

Impotent Sea Snakes

In Flames

Jack Off Jill
*E-Mail Jack Off Jill*

Jane’s Addiction

Kiss

Kittie

KMFDM

Korn

Lacuna Coil

Linkin Park

Live

Malevolent Creation
*E-Mail Phil Fasciana-guitars*

Marduk

Marilyn Manson

Mayhem

Metallica

Mindfield

Ministry
*E-Mail: Ministry*
If you have pictures of Ministry taken on the road send them to the band here

Misery Signals
*E-Mail:Misery Signals

Misfits

Moonspell

Most Precious Blood
*E-Mail:Matt Miller-Bass*
*E-Mail: Rachel-Guitars*
*E-Mail: Rob-Vocals*
*E-Mail: Justin-Guitars*

Morbid Angel

Mr. Airplane Man
*E-Mail: Mr. Airplane Man

Mudvayne

THINGS YOU PROBABLY WOULDN'T EXPECT ME TO LISTEN TO BUT I STILL DO AND IF YOU DO NOT LIKE IT YOU CAN KINDLY BITE ME =):

Butthole Surfers

Creedence Clearwater Revival

Doors,The

Eminem (You can all lagh at me now...I just like that he pisses people off!)

Enigma

Enya

Jem

Jewel

Joplin, Janis

Love and Rockets

Meat Puppets, The
*E-Mail:The Meat Puppets

BANDS MANY OF YOU HAVE NOT HEARD OF BUT SHOULD CHECK OUT, OR YOU DO NOT KNOW WHAT YOU ARE MISSING!:

Haydn, Lili
*E-Mail:Lili Haydn*

Mortes-Vivendi

McKay, Nellie

Noble, Keri

More to come...
If you want your band added here message me and I will check you out. Also let me know if you wish to be added to the music database I am working on for the music site :)

Movies:

Anything that is dark, and frightening, without going overboard with the special effects. I like a lot of B movies and older horror films. I find that if a movie needs a lot of special effects to scare you the concept of that movie must be weak...for real life scares the shit out of me, and you do not see any special effects here do you?

Television:

You know, I really don't watch a whole lot of TV. In fact I have watched about 20 hours of TV in the last 3 months. But when I do watch it, I like things like Ghosthunters, the Discovery Health Channel, Court TV, The History Channel, and I also watch mainly music documentires if I am not watching the other three channels. =)

Books:

I am a fan of any book. I thirst for knowledge. I long for it. I am on a never ending quest to learn all I can..Books are a good friend...and a great escape when I wish to not exist in my world anymore...

Heroes:

I have many people I consider heros, or inspirations in my life.
Jess Jess aka fweak. This girl has been through hell and back, and yet she still has a heart of gold. She is an extremely loving and loyal person whom I would die to protect. She has helped get me through some of the darkest moments in my life, and helped me re-emerge as a beautiful person...Remembe those butterflies Jess...Because you and them are one in the same
My wonderful boyfriend, Francis . This man is incredible. So patient, loving, kind, smart, funny. He has always been there for me. He never pushed me nor hurried me in anything. Totally accepting of me for me, he has helped me to become accepting of myself. Through his love, I have found out what love is, both for another, and for my self. Thank you baby! I love you so much!
My late best friend, Felicia, is a huge inspiration to my life. She broke me out of the shell I was in, and taught me I didn't have to pretend. She befriended me when I had nobody to talk to. When I was completely alone.I could be who I wanted to be and she taught me to never give up on myself. She rekindled the passion for music, as her and I planned on doing music together. She showed me strength and courage, and picked me up when I couldn't do it on my own. She was my best friend. Sadly, she committed suicide November 12th, 2003. I wish she'd have been able to access the tools she had taught me. I know she'd have wanted me to go on in my music. And I am going to. Not only for it being my dream, but because it was OUR dream, and I know she will be there in spirit every step of the way.
Another is my late friend (actually more of a friend of my mom's but I loved him much as well...he was kinda like a dad to me), David. He told me stories when I was a child of Shalana the Unicorn who went searching through the magic forest searching for stories totell boys and girls in the future. That is how he always ended them stories. He was a gifted poet, and writer. He in fact, wrote me a book about Shalana the Unicorn and Silicia the Sprite. He wrote it for my birthday. In the front he said to not give up on my writing. That I would do something someday. Of course I didn't know my talent for writing until over 10 years after his suicide. One day, I wrote, adn wrote, and discovered my talents. That is why he is my hero. He helped me unlock the talent, even if it took a while. If he'd have not told me over and over again I was going to be a writer, I'd probably have never tried to write. He also inspired music in me. He played the flute for us when we were young. ANd that inspired me to start playing the violin and singing, other talents I possess.
My sister is another hero of mine. She has been through as much as I have growing up. She had her children at a young age. But she has never given up. That girl is younger than me, but she is a great inspiration to me. She has three beautiful children, a good job, and she is still chasing those rainbows. So many are tempted to give up when the going gets rough. But my sister, like me, can't seem to give up. We always find a way to get by, and end up stronger in the process. I love you sis, and the little ones. You all have my heart forever!

My Blog

Like Them, You're Dead

Like Them, You're Dead Empty soul. Darkness rises...passing on to emptiness. Death is now forever. End it all. Give in to their lies. Burn out your welcome, through your own cries. You need their a...
Posted by PROOF_Tamara on Sun, 17 Jun 2007 12:13:00 PST

Live To Kill You

Live To Kill You The story lives, and then it dies. Every promise will turn to lies. We only exist to bury what dies, and no one listens to our desperate cries! The dagger of your contempt cuts so ...
Posted by PROOF_Tamara on Sun, 17 Jun 2007 12:07:00 PST

Disposability (Originally Written on 1-9-02)

Disposability (Originally Written on 1-9-02)      In this disposable world, where is one supposed to turn?Someone does something society dislikes? They silence them. They "dispose...
Posted by PROOF_Tamara on Sun, 17 Jun 2007 11:58:00 PST

Gravehopper

Gravehopper Gravehopper hops from place to place, searching for somewhere to belong. What she doesn't know, is she will never find it. There is no place for people like her. The forgotten, and lonely....
Posted by PROOF_Tamara on Sun, 17 Jun 2007 11:51:00 PST

Fury Unleashed

Fury Unleashed I blend into the darkness. SURPRIZE! I jump out of the shadows! Hell hath no fury like a nobody scorned. I am now invincible! Drug induced coma. Sleep. Crazy Death. Insanity. Somebody s...
Posted by PROOF_Tamara on Sun, 17 Jun 2007 11:46:00 PST

Child Support

Child Support Little child is running away from the pain inside her mind. She tried to change it, but it is always the same. There is nothing left, but hatred and blame. The darkness rises to strangle...
Posted by PROOF_Tamara on Tue, 29 May 2007 12:49:00 PST

Individuality (Originally Written on 1-8-2002)

     I have been hearing and seeing so much shit on what you have to look like to be an individual. That is the most stupid fucking debate if I ever heard one! Being an individual ...
Posted by PROOF_Tamara on Tue, 29 May 2007 12:46:00 PST

The Vile Ones

The Vile Ones You drank for the cup of decadence. Our blood is on your hands. You slaughtered what we were(innocent), and made us what we are.(the vile ones) The light replaced by darkness. Beginni...
Posted by PROOF_Tamara on Tue, 29 May 2007 12:44:00 PST

Black Window

Black Window Blank eyes staring out the black window. Why does she even bother to try? The cuts never heal. The old wounds are still fresh in her mind. The pain is what she needs to feel real.Cut....
Posted by PROOF_Tamara on Tue, 29 May 2007 12:40:00 PST

Twisted Trust

Twisted Trust I never knew how much love could hurt. A lack of a touch. A rumor. A word. A death of the fantasy I had built up around you. I realize now how wrong I was, to open my heart, and tru...
Posted by PROOF_Tamara on Tue, 29 May 2007 12:35:00 PST