About Me
I was always strongly anti-drugs. Firstly because they're incredibly harmful, secondly I'm a very addictive person and thirdly because you never know what you're actually taking! Then one day...I was feeling very depressed and did my first line of cocaine (the biggest mistake I've ever made). I was feeling very down and just didn't care at the time.2 years down the line I was doing it nearly every day and drinking as much as I could. I thought it made me look better, feel better, I was lying to myself! I stopped caring, I knew I was hurting myself but never even considered stopping untill...I eventually couldn't breath! I had to be rushed to the emergency room which was a terrifying experience! But 2 days later I was doing it again!!!!! Looking back I can't believe I could have been so stupid! I totally ignored the warning! Simply because it starts to completely control your life and inevitably will eventually kill you.I never stayed up all night doing it, I always liked to go to bed before the sun came up. I never did too much at one time, I wasn't a binger, I just did it often- clearly too often!The breathing problems came and went for about 6 months until one day I woke up with pain in my heart!This was the end! Yet the beginning of a much happier healthier life!However stopping is not as easy as one would think. Psychologically I'm fine and never crave it at all. In fact I hate it and am terrified about what will happen to the people around me who were and still are doing it.It's an evil poison and brings nothing but distress. People who always really liked me weren't as friendly as they used to be. I distanced myself from my family and friends (the people I really cared about and who all care about me) and looking back at photo's I looked like shit (even though at the time i thought I looked great). It totally pulls the wool over your eyes.It starts off as fun, creeps up on you, and then becomes you.The scariest thing is that it's been over one and a half months since I last touched it and I still get waves of breathlessness and heart pain. I would have expected to have these problems when I was doing it, not once I'd stopped! Actually it's quite the opposite, everything comes out after you've stopped! It completely numbs one so that you don't even realise the damage you are doing.I have done extensive research on the internet to see if what I've been feeling is normal- It is! The reason for the heart pain starting only once I'd stopped is that one is completely numb when using cocaine and doesn't realise the damage it is causing to the body. I never knew that cocaine had such terrible effects on the heart (as well as the sinuses and brain!) i even have a friend who's heart completely stopped beating twice, yet they still continued to use. Thank goodness they too have finally given it up.I thought I was going to die! I've always been incredibly healthy, haven't been to the doctor in about 14 years, eat really healthily and drink water all the time. But there are no ammount of things you can do to outweigh the terrible effects of this drug.I felt great on it for a long time, the terribly frightening consequences come about extremely suddenly!I know that I'm going to be fine but am so incredibly worried about other people who are in the same position as I was. I feel a responsibility to help in any way I can. Purely because I am so appreciative to be alright and cannot bare to think of anyone, even my worst enemies, going through what I did.No one suspected that I did it, my family and friends were horrified and devastated when I told them what I had done to myslef.I've always been a very happy person, had countless boyfriends and travelled extensively. I've met dozens of famous people and been to the most amazing parties all over the world. I am a very lucky person- someone you would never expect this to happen to. I've blown oppurtunities and risked my life. The one thing I'm glad about is that the only person I ever hurt was myself.It terrifies me to think of all the people out there who are headed down the same road. I want people to know about the dangers involved so that they can stop in time cause, believe me, it may be fun but will without a doubt end in a nightmare.
