The Darker Side of KUHMELEON

Music:

Member Since: 3/13/2007
Band Members: This list was comprised WITHOUT me having seen "THE MIST". Now that it’s currently out of theaters, I’ll have to wait until March for the DVD release. If I’m impressed (and I believe I will be) then I’ll re-do this list, m’kay?!Some of these movies may have been released a year earlier but were only on EXTREMELY limited runs and/or festival showings. So, I’m goin’ by the "mass release" whether in theaters or DVD. Sorry, not all of us have the luxury of going to all those film festivals and shit like that. My responsibilities to my children, job, and addiction to my fiance’s vagina kinda restricts me from gallavanting all across the globe to watch a film! 1. 30 DAYS OF NIGHTI do not believe I have ever seen vampires so vicious and ferocious! No stupid teenagers, no contrived characters, no Rock or Hip Hop songs in the soundtrack to promote, no sex or nudity..... just 100% PURE TERROR! From the very first second until the end, this sucker had me hooked! I can’t think of any flaws whatsoever. In my mind, a PERFECT horror film. And one to beat! 2. GRINDHOUSE/PLANET TERRORWOW! What a thrill ride of mutants, gore, whacked out characters, etc etc. NO horror fan should miss this! And man do I LOVE those trailers (which are missing on BOTH of the DVD releases! WHAT THE FUCK!) Of course the film came to a slow "grind" with Tarantino’s entry, but still gave me enough to enjoy 3. THE HOSTArguably on of the best "giant monster attack" films I’ve seen in a while. Putting the focus more on the dysfunctional family that MUST organize to save a child gave this more depth than others in the past 4. FIDOZombies as household pets/servants/ what have you, set in the 1950’s. Had everything, laughs, a little gory fun, and a love story! The first "cute" zombie film without EVER going the sappy route. If ya haven’t seen it, do so immediately! 5. BLACK SHEEPSheep infected with a virus turning them to become zombielike flesheaters? YUP! And all done within a not so ridiculous fashion. Lots of fun and an original welcome to the genre 6. HATCHETso, it’s got the characters ya can’t wait to see get killed, contrived dialouge, slutty whores that act like slutty whores, blah blah blah... but what sets this apart from all the others is that when shit hits the fan.. it REALLY DELIVERS! These people get mudered in such a mind blowing fashion that horror fans couldn’t help but give it praise! 7. 28 WEEKS LATERNot as good as the first (the subtle moments and artistic passages are missing) but upping the infected/zombie quota as well as the action provided a very worthy sequel 8. HOSTEL 2So I sat in the theater while the movie was making its way thinking, "This is okay.. but I’m looking for some sort of WHALLOP!" And then the last 15 minutes of the movie were unleashed upon me! OUCH FUCKING OUCH! And then I was satisfied! Enough so to recommend it to folks 9. ISOLATIONMuch like BLACK SHEEP... more infected animal horror. This time a disgusting mutant cow! The dark humor is gone as the depressing elements creep deeper into your skin until ya feel that queasiness in the pit of your soul ya rotten bastard! 10. BEHIND THE MASKA completely different take on the stalker/serial killer role. Quite an original idea and played earnestly. A rare treat. 11. BUGAshley Judd gets suckered in to one man’s deteriorating mind. All consuming madness ensues leaving no happy ending! 12. EVILZombies in GREECE! Bring ’em on! While it steals a bit from 28 Days Later, and I could’ve done without the goofy fight scene in the restaurant, this bad boy really packs a punch. The "24" inspired multiple camera angles filming the violence is a VERY welcome touch! From what I was told, this is the first horror film made entirely by Greeks in Greece. So let’s have some more! PLEASE! 13. SEVERANCESo you think YOUR job sucks?! Dark humor and bloodthirsty terror abounds in this "trap ’em and kill ’em all for the corporate good" flick! 14. WRONG TURN 2More of the same with more inbred mutants battling "city folk". Some of the characters were so obnoxious that I couldn’t wait to see them get mutilated! Which they do.... horribly... and then I’m happy! The opening scene with that American Idol chick getting split down the middle and her intestines hitting the ground is worth buying the unrated DVD release! 15. FLIGHT OF THE LIVING DEADZombies on a Plane! Up yours, I liked it. Kiss my ass. It’s fun, gory, and rocks! Screw you for judging me! Go have sex with your mom’s first grade teacher!AND NOW, SOME OTHER TOP HONORS:BEST ON T.V. DETHKLOK RULES! The most BRUTAL band on the planet! Adult Swim comes up with another winner. Ya just gotta love all of those horrible deaths and mutilations in every episode! And, it’s fucking hilarious too!BEST NOVELTY ITEM: HOLLYWOOD ZOMBIES trading cards! What would today’s celebrities look like if they were one of the living flesh eating dead?Collect ’em all! I DID!BEST NOVEL: DEAD SEA - by Brian Keene! Zombies invade Baltimore.... handful of survivors make it to a ship... but they won’t be safe for long! Not when the zombie virus can be spread through alls sorts of animal life... including fish, sharks, whales, etc.REST IN PEACE VAMPIRA My collection! OVER 650 movies (and counting)! LOOOOOOVE Zombies!


Influences: Carpenter, Romero, Bava, Argento, Cronenberg, Vincent Price, Roddy McDowell, Lovecraft, Matheson, (to be continued)
Type of Label: None