Axl Rosenberg (In HD where available)

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I'd like to think Kim summed it up best. Through laughter and disgust, she managed to say to me: "You know, you manage to be simultaneously fall-off-my-chair funny, and at the same time, a total dick."I didn't answer. I don't even remember what I'd said to her, but she nailed it on the head. "Gonna argue that?" she asked. "No, I'm gonna steal it so I have something to put in my Myspace profile."My priorities are more absurd than anyone you've ever met - maybe save for a few homeless folks that wrap their heads in tin-foil. Some would call it art, some would call it eccentricity, I call it a lifestyle; I have neither the intention, nor ability to alter it.I will make you laugh for hours at a time - that's a promise. What I need is someone who can keep up, and who really gets the joke and isn't just amused by the props.So far I haven't met that person. Then again, it's just as likely that I did meet that person but I made a train-wreck of the situation. This is a special skill I posess, but don't worry - I make the train-wreck fun!! I'll list some random crap about me: I don't believe in using spellcheck. Is that quirky? Maybe, but somehow it strikes me as being kind of phony. Yes, the cars are really mine. If you're a chick and you ask me why I have so many cars, I'm gonna ask how many pairs of shoes you own. My tastes in general run from the ultra-refined, to the straight-up redneck. Nobu is my favorite restaurant, but Budweiser is my favorite beer. I once traded a Porsche for a Ford Galaxie. If my life were a show, I'd buy the whole series on DVD.I believe that alcohol kills germs, therefore, if you drink plenty of it, you'll never get sick. I like smart people, but I can't stand those that define themselves as an intellectual. If you don't know the difference - get away from me.
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