augusten profile picture

augusten

I am here for Friends

About Me

author of:
SELLEVISION,
RUNNING WITH SCISSORS (now a major motion picture),
DRY,
MAGICAL THINKING,
POSSIBLE SIDE EFFECTS,
A WOLF AT THE TABLE: a memoir about my father COMING APRIL 29.
I live in nature surrounded by creatures, all of which are out to harm me. One creature, which I saw late at night while checking the mail, had triangular ears, a flat head and as I aimed the flashlight on it, it stepped forward. When I began to walk away, it followed. When I ran, I don't know what it did because I wasn't watching but I bet it ran, too. When I moved from NYC into nature, I never expected there would be so many life forms out to get me. I still live in NYC, so I shouldn't say I left. I'm there part of the time and out here part of the time. I am never in both places at once, though I am trying.
When I am not writing about myself, I read novels. I also watch DVD's on my laptop. I am online all day and when I am off-line I am sad.
I live with two dogs, Bentley and Cow. Bentley became paralyzed one night but now he is better and can run and chase things in the yard (read about his dramatic sudden paralysis and how we fixed him on my website blog). He walks like a drunk. Cow may have supernatural abilities. The three of us live with Dennis who makes food for us and is nice.
Visit us online at www.augusten.com

My Interests

White water rafting, exotic surgeries, plane crashes, books, magazines, the olden days, maximum security prisons and the prisoners that are stored there, animal-sound ringtones, steak, cheeseburgers, French fries, pizza, London, Sydney, French pastries, German hotdogs, inclement weather, cars

I'd like to meet:

Lizzie Borden

Possible Side Effects Running with Scissors

Buy it on Amazon! Buy it on Amazon!
augusten.com

Music:

Sufjan Stevens, Sinead O’Connor, Melissa Ethridge, Julia Fordham, Stevie Nicks, sarah mclachlan, Julia Fordham, Robbie Williams, Leonard Cohen, Billie Holiday, Bjork, Karla Bonoff, Norah Jones, Rufus Wainwright, Curbside Life, Ingrid Michaelson, Tegan and Sara, Patti Smith, Tori Amos, Regina Spektor, The Shins, The White Stripes

Movies:

The Staircase, Bergman, Whose Afraid of Virginia Woolf, Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, A Streetcar Named Desire, Long Day’s Journey into Night, Children of Men, Giant, Suddenly Last Summer, The Philadelphia Story, What’s Up Doc?

Television:

Nova, Charlie Rose, BBC, Showtime, Deadwood, The War.

Books:

The House of Mirth, A Confederacy of Dunces, The Member of the Wedding, Elizabeth Berg, Anita Shreve, John Updike, Jon Krakauer, Ian Mcewan, Warped Passages by Lisa Randall, The Elegant Universe. And these are just the books that are located six feet from where I am flopped. My list is much longer.

Heroes:

Kate Dillon - former anorexic who proves skinny is sick, not hot. Google her and see what sexy REALY looks like.
Every soldier who has served or is serving in the United States military because these are the people who make it safe for me to go to the store and buy M&M’s. And Bill and Melinda Gates. For being among the richest people on the planet and giving it all to charity. I worship them both. Fireman and cops and nurses. And some, not all, but some doctors. And my UPS guy. Well, UPS drivers in general, actually. And alcoholics who don’t anymore. Oh, who am I kidding? I love all the misfits. I love all the cutters and throw-up-ers and addicts of every variety –I love everybody who tries like hell and won’t give up. I love fat girls who are sexy and I love tough girls who look like guys and I love kids who don’t care “how it’s done” and do it their own way anyway, who reinvent the wheel and start from scratch. And my other hero would be Roy Crock for inventing McDonald’s which I’m not supposed to like but do. And yeah, his wife –who gave all her money to NPR when she died. And pilots. Okay, and dog rescue workers.