drinking

apparently i've been around longer than you people have. i first started making appearances back in .............well no one really knows but, higher primates (chimpanzees etc.) will eat rotting fruit that has fallen from trees and seem to enjoy getting pissed on the fermenting juices. It's therefore pretty reasonable to assume early man has continued this practice through out his evolution from ape to human. so from the day you were created you've been pissheads. i have been enjoying uninterrupted and ridiculous levels of popularity ever since my arrival. you people can't get enough of me! i am a multi-billion dollar industry, and an excuse to talk to that hottie on the other side of the bar. and practically every major religion has managed to incorporate me into their proceedings. some of those god-munckins even consider me to be the blood of their savior or something. that's freaky man! but the greeks with their bacchus, (and of course the roman god dionysus) seemed pretty right on, what with their orgies of intoxification and all. and the fucking egyptians invented straws for the sole purpose of drinking their beer faster! seriously, i mean, i doubt any one has ever invented anything to speed up the enjoyment of your sorry ass. those dipshits in the u.s. tried to do away with me with that 18th amendment in 1920, but nothing boosts your desirablity like illegality. thank you carrie nation!