DYNAMITE SAM - ProfilesArchive

About Me

see me emote above:
though still a lover of chipmunks, hummingbirds, & girls, i also have a passion for equity (statistically rare), & the conservative instinct to keep things not as they are but as they should be (even rarer). to keep it like it was. not like it is.
how i roll: a '77 ford granada, a 63 dodge dart gt, & a 99 honda shadow 750 ace deluxe.
i love my daughter sofia. giving people baths & eating ice cream makes me thirsty. i have a knack for pooping in the wild. i want to be a matador, i want a burro, chickens, a wife i can call 'slim', a teardrop trailer, i want to ride in a sidecar, i want to have sex with a girl with the same name as me (does this make me narcissistic??) or with a girl named 'ramona'. i like tex-mex stuff, artichokes, sangria, tequila stingers, dirty white mothers, cheesecake, grasshopper pie, & my mom's coffee cake & apple crisp. i can imitate almost any animal, i think im afraid of starfaced moles, i laugh & sigh too easily, i have a crush on mary kay letourneau, i like cacti, safety goggles & swimming masks. i abhorr slugs. i can breathe out my anus. what do i think is sexy?? girls on rollerskates, honkytonk women, redneck girls, the s.u.b.s. delivery girls (r.i.p.), girls who cook breakfast in their underwear, girls in horn-rimmed glasses, fishnet stockings, getting a peek down a woman's blouse, girls who drive cars older than them or beat-up pickups, girls in earmuffs, girls with guns, & the ultimate in sexiness?? a girl with her name on the back of her belt. turn offs?? tivas, 70's bush, & dogs. so there.

My Interests

cheerleaders, digging my own hole, farming fresh onions, being idle & indifferent, humping high-performance fleece, driving long hauls in adult diapers, stalking local dennys waitresses....

I'd like to meet:

girls with something to get off their chest, lovers, vladimir putin, jesus christ, merle haggard, ice cube, genghis khan, vincent gallo, neve campbell, the michelin man, patsy cline, emily strange, vlad the impaler, elphaba, female felons from texas, vixens, maidens, sirens, vamps, faeries, mermaids, nymphs, waylon jennings, jessica biel & i really want to meet tim blake nelson.

Music:

Movies:

natural born killers, requiem for a dream, o, brother, where art thou?, atanarjurat, love liza, monsters inc., run lola run, jesus' son, fiddler on the roof, buffalo 66, blair witch project, girl on the bridge, happiness, summer of sam, crooklyn, the ice storm, boogie nights, dancer in the dark, american movie, elizabeth, titus andronicus & gummo.

Television:

i've been known to steal a few moments of steve poole's weather forecast...is he a war baby?? is he still on tv??

Books:

wicked-the life & times of the wicked witch of the west, tom sawyer, go dog go, & anything by edward abbey. currently reading andrew meier's 'black earth'.

Heroes:

Unhappy the land where heroes are needed.-Brecht-

My Blog

drunk for 3 weeks & i had a gun.

in april i was in my mailman van & (technically) i failed to yield to a small black bmw that was on the other side of an oversized pickup truck so i smashed into the dude who was yakking on the ce...
Posted by DYNAMITE SAM on Tue, 03 Jun 2008 08:36:00 PST

FEATHER PILLOWS & ARKANSAS WHORES

i learned from a month of abstinence that its kinda overrated, i fought several urges in some bars from georgetown to spokane in january & for a spell my sleeping habits improved then then backsli...
Posted by DYNAMITE SAM on Thu, 07 Feb 2008 07:38:00 PST

ABSTAINING FROM MYSPACE & LIQUOR JAN 2008

it's that time of year once again for me to abstain. i dont do resolutions but i abstain for one month. no drink of the day/nite, & no 'myspace'. nothin'!! ill be back in februrary w/a date for ya...
Posted by DYNAMITE SAM on Tue, 01 Jan 2008 06:38:00 PST

ACE pt. II

so, early one recent thursday morning we meet (im told to be there at 7:30 a.m. sharp!) at the Seattle Film Institute so the crew can pick up more equipment. of course im like the 3rd or 4th one there...
Posted by DYNAMITE SAM on Fri, 02 Nov 2007 09:02:00 PST

ACE

not long ago i auditioned for the role of the bad guy (Ace) in a short film called 'A Fistful of Mud'. as with most of my auditions i thought i sucked. auditions suck. you've got 3-6 people sitting ar...
Posted by DYNAMITE SAM on Wed, 03 Oct 2007 04:51:00 PST

is that all to the ball, mr. hall??

i ax the doc if she would be averse to me standing around today & tonite i.e. going to the shanty this afternoon for cars, girls, beer & your band then the ball tonite (for the go-getters) &am...
Posted by DYNAMITE SAM on Sun, 30 Sep 2007 05:59:00 PST

THE FUTURE OF AN ILLUSION

july 18th empire carpet came out & installed sexy new 'taupe mist' carpet!! HOWEVER, before they were to do that i had to pack all knick-knacks up in boxes, move plants outside, unplug my co...
Posted by DYNAMITE SAM on Fri, 27 Jul 2007 10:28:00 PST

A FOOL'S TAJ MAHAL

on 4/23 im awakened at 4:15 a.m. by the newspaper girl hollering "Its flooding in your hallway!!". not only there but it was leaking in most of my condo. coming thru my popcorn ceiling, down the walls...
Posted by DYNAMITE SAM on Tue, 05 Jun 2007 09:31:00 PST

THE TROUBLE WITH ME...

i only lasted 5 days off the wagon.....or is it on the wagon....not only that but i ate twinkies & drank coffee. perhaps i cant do it. my good friends tell me not to fret & not to bother tryin...
Posted by DYNAMITE SAM on Tue, 13 Feb 2007 09:38:00 PST

ABSTAINMENT

instead of making resolutions i abstain from drinking & smoking in january. (i dont smoke cigarettes.) this is to sorta 'cleanse' my mind, my body, & my soul. i will also be abstaining from My...
Posted by DYNAMITE SAM on Sat, 30 Dec 2006 06:01:00 PST