aLISTAIR BLYTHE profile picture

aLISTAIR BLYTHE

...LIKE CATCHING YOUR BOLLOCKS ON A BARBED WIRE FENCE!

About Me

I'm originally from CAERPHILLY...aka..CAERFILTHY. But not anymore. 27 years was enough. Now you'll find me down on the farm that is Bristol scraping a living for the Leighton and Crozier monkeys.(Above) CAERPHILLY....WHAT IS GOING ON!?!

My Interests

Riding my bike (it adds balance to my unhealthy weekends. you'll never find me in a gym. besides Bristol's bus service makes me want to commit justifiable homicides). Drinking rum & gingerbeer (Mount Gay my fave), CIDER, going down the BLACK SWAN for nights of sonic mayhem! (TOXIC DANCEHALL, BASHOUT, etc), FREE PARTIES (illegal raves), going to festivals esp GLASTONBURY, launching tomatos at festival crowds with our 3-MAN CATAPULT, going on holiday, dreaming of going on holiiday, dreaming of going on holiday in outer space, sniffing felt-pens for nostalgic blasts, VINYL, visiting my friends in JERSEY, BRIGHTON & WALES. My D.I.Y. Xmas/ Birthday cards, growing old disgracfully. Oh, and i'm bloody addicted 2 SECONDLIFE too, (rhinocerouslip congrejo) stop by and say "hi!" SCOTTY HARD IN THE MIX!!

I'd like to meet:

BRUCE CAMPBELL, HITLER's CHEIF...So i could spike his lunch with Ecstasy & Laxitives just before the Nuremberg speech! H.G. WELLS...So i could get the plans for the Time Machine for the Nuremberg mission! ELVIS...We've got a Time Machine now, lets use it. We'd watch BUBBA HO-TEP together and then with the promise of burgers, we'd travel back in time back to the crucifixtion and then hopefully get him nailed up next to Jesus. I'd then take a few snapshots of the influential pair. Then whisk back off to 21st century, where i would then mass produce those photos into some nice Xmas cards/ Postcards!ZOMBIES...But from a distance and I'd have to have a combine harvester with a full tank! JAWS...I'd throw a bin bag full of Acid, Mushrooms, Ecstasy, DMT, Laxitives, Industrial Strength Elephant Worming Tablets and some Imodium into his big mouth if that bastard bit my boat in half. Shouting "SUCK ON THIS, YOU FISHY CUNT!" And while he's there I'd also toss him about a dozen 1kg blocks of ganja followed by another bin bag full of Spacedust, a bucket full of hair and toenail clippings and washed down with a barrel of coca cola. "HAPPY 30th BIG FELLA!"THE SALACK MONSTER PIT IN RETURN OF THE JEDI...See JAWS but on a more industrial scale with the added ingrediants of smack & charlie. Also tankers emptying entire breweries into it's belly to be slowly digested over a thousand years! Thats all right, I'll come back in the Time Machine!

Music:

JAZZ JAMAICA, ADRIAN SHERWOOD, ON-U SOUNDS, MIKEY DREAD, THE BUG, SKATALITES, PERRY, TUBBY, MONTY ALEXANDER, THE CONGOS, U-ROY, RHYTHM & SOUND, WARRIOR QUEEN, LOVE GROCER, TWILIGHT CIRCUS, IRRATION STEPPAS, SPECIALS, BAD MANNERS, ROOTSMAN, JOSEY WALES, DEAN FRASER ETC.................. PRONGHORN, FUGAZI & DISCHORD RECORDS, THE DUB TRIO, CITIZEN FISH, BAD BRAINS, OP IVY & LOOKOUT RECORDS, BOSSTONES, SHEER TEROR, JESU, HEAD OF DAVID, JESUS LIZARD, SLAYER, WIRE, ISIS, ICE, GODFLESH, GORILLA BISCUITS, LEEWAY, D.I., COP SHOOT COP, POISON IDEA, REASON TO BELIEVE, DRIVE LIKE JEHU, NEUROSIS, GOGOL BORDELLO, DROPKICK MURPHY'S, GAS HUFFER, RIGHTEOUS PIGS, CURSE OF THE GOLDEN VAMPIRE, TELEDUBGNOSIS, NIC, SOUNDGARDEN, FISHBONE, TAD, MUDHONEY,NIRVANA (BLEACH ONLY) ETC...............TECHNO ANIMAL, KID606, DEPTH CHARGE, DJ SCUD, KODE9 & SPACEAPE, SHITMAT, CHOPSTICKS DUBPLATE, SOUNDMURDERER, MUSLIMGAUZE, MEATBEAT MANIFESTO, PRODUCER, T-POWER, ADD N TO X, BINRAY, BOARDS OF CANADA, CHRIST, AUTECHRE, DIGITAL MYSTIKZ, BASS CLEF, AFX, SKINNY PUPPY, ORBITAL, DJ/RUPTURE, EBOLA, 8 FROZEN MODULES, RENEGADE SOUNDWAVE, COIL, MUTAMASSIK, LOADS OF BREAKCORE, FUCKED UP ELECTRONICA, DUBSTEP, TECHNO ETC.................... LEWS TEWNS & THE HEADCASE LADZ, CANNIBAL OX, COMPANY FLOW, DEL, SCOTTY HARD, EDAN, NEW KINGDOM, GRAVEDIGGAZ, JEAN GRAE, DALEK, ANTIPOP, ROOTS MANUVA, INFINITE LIVEZ, DIZZEE RASCAL, WILEY, P.E., JB'S, BDP, ULTRAMAGNETICS, BAMBAATAA, RUN DMC, ARSONISTS, HAWD GANKSTUH RAPPAHS WID GATZ, DJ KRUSH, THE ISOLATIONIST, GANG STARR, MR.LIF, NEW FLESH, DJ SHADOW, Z-TRIP, PIKLZ, X-MEN, FUTUREPRIMITIVE SOUNDSESSIONS, FAUST, GUNSHOT, SENSATIONAL, WORDSOUNDS, LOTEK HI-FI, THE OPUS, SADAT X, P BROTHERS, ETC.................. KONONO NO.1, TABLA BEAT SCIENCE, MATERIAL....,DELIVERANCE OST, ENNIO MORRICONE, JOHN CARPENTER, CLASSIC WAR THEMES (BATTLE OF BRITAIN, GREAT ESCAPE, DAMBUSTERS ETC), KLAUS WUNDERLICH....

Movies:

STAR WARS (ORIGINAL TRILOGY), EVIL DEAD TRILOGY, CITY OF GOD, BUBBA HO-TEP, DEAD MAN'S SHOES, BRAINDEAD, BAD TASTE, SEVERANCE, THE DEVILS REJECTS, DOG SOLDIERS, TEXAS CHAINSAW (ORIGINAL), APOCALYPSE NOW, FULL METAL JACKET, SEXY BEAST, MAN BITES DOG, VERSUS, FOOTBALL FACTORY, KUNG FU HUSTLE, THE DESCENT, SHAUN OF THE DEAD, HOT FUZZ, KEVIN SMITH, GEORGE ROMERO, JOHN CARPENTER, CLINT EASTWOOD, SERGIO LEONE, TARENTINO, SAM RAIMI, JOE DANTE, 28 DAYS LATER, EVIL ALIENS, ALIEN & ALIENS, TITANIC (NOT REALLY!), THE WARRIORS, IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE, THE LION KING, MURIAL'S WEDDING, WILD AT HEART, ONCE WERE WARRIORS, THE MOST UNROMANTIC MAN IN THE WORLD, NIGHTWATCH (DANISH ORIGINAL), TRAINSPOTTING, A ROOM FOR ROMEO BRASS, CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST, ZOMBIE MOVIES, HARDCORE PORNOS, E FUCKING T (NO MATTER HOW HARD YOU TRY TO RESIST, YOU ALWAYS SHED A TEAR!), THE ELEPHANT MAN (SEE ET), THE SHINING, ZOOLANDER, THE PRINCESS BRIDE, EL MARACHI, HELLBOY, BEAT STREET, CROOKED, MOULIN ROUGE, RAINING STONES, SERENITY, GINGER SNAPS, TWIN TOWN, DELIVERANCE, ZULU, WORLD WAR2 CLASSICS, ROCKERS, HARD BOILED, BACK TO THE FUTURE TRILOGY.....http://video.google.fr/videoplay?docid=-44988640 86957786589&q=bill+violaWHAT CAN I SAY......I CRINGE IN HORROR AND FEEL ASHAMED 2 BE A HUMAN BEING WHEN I WATCH THIS. JUST GOES 2 SHOW THAT MANKIND CAN BE RESPONSIBLE FOR SOME HORRIFIC ACTIONS....AND THIS UP WITH THE WORST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Television:

BOTTOM, SPACED, BUFFY, BLACK BOOKS, PEEP SHOW, DR.WHO, OPERATION GOOD GUYS, 15 STORIES HIGH, ADAM & JOE, THE LAST CHANCERS, NATHAN BARLEY, FARSCAPE, NIGHTY NIGHT, LEAGUE OF GENTLEMEN, THE OFFICE, CITY OF MEN, BABYLON5, new BATTLESTAR GALACTICA, QUANTUM LEAP, DENNIS PENNIS, FISTS OF FUN, MIGHTY BOOSH, ALAN PARTRIDGE, BRASS EYE, YOUNG ONES, PHOENIX NIGHTS, STAR TREK (60'S, NEXT GEN & DS9 ONLY), FUTURAMA, SIMPSONS, FAMILY GUY, SOUTH PARK, REN & STIMPY, BIG BROTHER, EXTRAS, POBYL Y CWM, BROOKSIDE, CHANNEL4 NEWS...

Books:

2000AD (THE GALAXY'S GREATEST COMIC!), JUDGE DREDD MEGAZINE, HELLBOY & BPRD, PREACHER, THE DARK KNIGHT RETURNS, WATCHMEN, SWAMP THING, SIN CITY, TRANSMETROPOLITAN, LEAGUE OF EXTROADINARY GENTLEMEN, MARSHALL LAW, ADVENTURES IN THE RIFLE BRIGADE, (ENNIS') PUNISHER, V FOR VENDETTA, 1602, SANDMAN, ANIMAL MAN, SHADE THE CHANGING MAN, CHARLEYS WAR, BAD COMPANY, JUDGE DREDD (INCENDARY SCRIPTS!!), SCARLRT TRACES, LEVIATHAN ETC.......THE WIRE, HIP-HOP CONNECTION, THE GAURDIAN GUIDE.., IF CHINS COULD KILL...CONFESSIONS..., THE NAKED AND THE DEAD.

Heroes:

SPAGETTI WESTERN CLINT, ASH (EVIL DEAD TRILOGY), TOXIC AVENGER, ANYONE WHO TAKES A CHAINSAW TO THE ZOMBIE HOARDS, GETS MY RESPECT!, J. SAUL KANE, JUSTIN BROADRICK, JAMES STEWART, BILL HICKS, JAY & SILENT BOB, ADRIAN SHERWOOD, JUDGE DREDD, SLAINE MAC ROTH, CAPT. JOHN SHERIDAN, CHUCK YEAGER, NEMESIS THE WARLOCK, IAN MACKAYE, GG ALLEN, REBEL ALLIANCE FIGHTER CREWS, BABYLON5 FIGHTER CREWS, BUFFY...OH, AND MY MUM!