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free from harm

freefromharm

About Me

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‘Free from harm’ exists to give people hope they can be free from self harm. It aims to empower people to take charge of their own lives and future. Here you will find information to understand self harm – its functions, addictive nature, and how to recover.
It is intended for people who self harm, their families and friends, professionals such as teachers, nurses and youth workers who come into contact with people who self harm, and anyone wanting to find out more about the subject. Please check out my other website for further information www.freefromharm.co.uk
‘Free From Harm’ offers 1 to 1 support
Via email [email protected]
Or contact me through myspace
I am available for face to face support (when geographically possible) in partnership with ‘Today’s Community Church’ based in Wigan, Greater Manchester, England. I am also available to speak at your organisation, school, church etc about my own experience of self harm and how to help people who are self harming. Please email for more details.
My aim in creating ‘Free From Harm’ is to break some of the stigma attached to self-harm and let people know there are many people who self-harm that are misunderstood and viewed negatively. When in fact they have no other way of expressing their emotions. I want to give hope to anyone who self-harms. There is a better life for you, and with the right support you can get there. I understand the need to harm yourself to manage your emotions. I've been there, I know how it feels to have thoughts of wanting to harm your body constantly running through your head, and you can see no way out. I want to tell you there is a way out and there are alternatives. The journey towards being happier in yourself and with your life can be long and at times you want to give up and can see no hope for change. But there is hope. I've been there and I've come out the other end. At times I never thought I would, and I never thought my life would ever change or become better. But it has because I took charge of my own life and made the decision I wanted more than self-harm. If you are trying to stop self-harming I hope ‘Free From Harm’ can be of some support to you. It is not intended to glamorize self-harm or be a 'trigger' to thinking about cutting. It is intended to give hope.
ABOUT ME
I'm Jane and I used to self-harm. During that time I felt so alone, like I was the only person in the world that would ever think of dragging a razor or piece of broken glass across their skin in some attempt to cope with their emotional distress. For many years I told no-one of my struggles, fearing judgement and rejection. I battled with the addiction of self-harm for around 7 years. Ironically, for 5 of these years I was trying to stop self-harming, yet was trapped in the vicious cycle. Through the right support and the right mind set on my behalf (I wanted to get better), I can confidently say that self-harm is no longer a part of my coping strategy for life. My past and my self-harming is now something that I can actually be grateful for. Now I can use my experiences to give hope to others.
Along with my personal experience of self harm, I am a qualified mental health nurse and currently work within acute mental health inpatient services. I have worked with many people who self harm and witnessed both positive and negative nursing interventions. I would like to see the experiences of patients who self harm on the wards improve and would like to see staff better empowered to provide treatment and care.
My personal journey to recovery was not an easy one and it didn't happen over night. Many times I slipped up and thought I had failed God, myself and the people around me who cared about me. Many times I felt like giving up and just accepting a lonely and desperate life of self harm. However there was something inside me that knew this was not the life I was created to live. Part of me was scared of failing and not being able to overcome, but I didn't let this stop me trying and fighting for a better existence with all the strength I had. The biggest failure would have been for me to give up and accept my life as it was. Yes I had some moments of weakness, but I didn't give up. I learned from them and I and grew. It was worth the fight.
Self harm is a growing problem in our nations. Recent stastistics in the UK suggest up to 1 in 15 teenagers are currently self harming. However actual figures are likely to be much higher, as many people self harm in secret. I want to do my bit in tackling this growing problem that is destroying lives and families. People need to know there is hope and there is a way out.
WHAT IS SELF HARM?
Self harm or self injury is the deliberate act of hurting yourself. It is something someone does to themselves, to cause deliberate harm. Self harm is often something done in secret and is hidden from others. Many people self harm secretly before having the courage to tell someone. Self harm provides temporary relief from emotional distress. However this relief is only short term and self harm does not address the person’s underlying issues. For example low self esteem.
Self harm is not to be confused with a suicide attempt. In fact many people who self harm describe it as their way to keep living and to avoid suicide. People who make serious attempts to harm themselves can be at risk from ‘accidental’ death through their self harm. This risk will be assessed by the professionals involved in their care.
Self harm is a symptom of another problem. It is a sign that all is not well and there is something else going on with the person.
There are many types of self-harming behaviours.
• Cutting the skin
• Burning the skin
• Banging the head or other part of the body against a hard surface
• Punching the face or body
• Hair pulling
• Self strangulation
• Overdoses of medication or harmful substances
• Swallowing foreign objects such as razor blades
• Inserting foreign objects into wounds
WHY DO PEOPLE SELF HARM?
It is hard for people to comprehend self-harm. It is a desperate attempt for the person to gain some control and manage their emotions. It is important to remember that if the person had another way to do this they probably wouldn’t be self harming.
Self harm is a coping mechanism – a way to manage difficult emotions and situations. Although it is not a 'healthy' coping mechanism, it is a coping mechanism all the same. Research shows people who self-harm have not learned to 'self-sooth,' (make themselves feel better). For example, in early development comforting experiences from care givers may have been absent. This means as a child/young adult the person did not acquire the internal ability to comfort themselves when distressed. Therefore as an adult the person has limited advanced methods of coping, and self harm is used as a way to cope with life and emotions. Self harm changes the person’s ‘emotional state.’ For example, from an emotional state of anger and frustration, to peace and calmness after the act of self harm.

Self harm is a way to express emotions. People who self harm often have difficulties expressing themselves and making their needs know in a sophisticated way. For example, the person is unable to tell someone they are unhappy and ask for help, so they self harm as a way to communicate this distress. This is often a subconscious decision – especially in the early stages of self harm. It should not be confused with a person ‘attention seeking.’ Often people self harm in secret and people around them are unaware of their actions. The person may be unable to cry or talk to someone about their problems. Emotions then build up inside and the person turns to self harm to get rid of some of these negative feelings and pain.

For some people self harm is a survival tactic. It is a way to avoid suicide, a way to keep them alive. They self harm as an alternative to suicide, as a way to get themselves through painful experiences and overwhelming emotions.
FUNCTIONS OF SELF HARM
It is clear that people self harm for a reason. The fact that self harm can quickly become someone’s only coping strategy for life, shows us that self harm works for the person. It does something to help them, it has a purpose. This is why it is difficult for a person to stop self harming.
Some of the functions of self harm include:
• To relieve stress and anxiety
• Create a sense of 'calm’
• Shows the person they are in control of their body and emotions
• Makes the person feel 'real' or ‘alive’ again
• Is a distraction from the real problem
• Gives a visual sign of the pain on the inside
• Communicates distress to others
• A way to ‘punish’ oneself
• A way to regain control
• Escape from overwhelming emotions such as anger, fear, depression, frustration
• An outward expression of internal pain
• Research has shown self-harm releases endorphins in the brain (our 'feel good' hormones) giving a sense of satisfaction and relief

SIGNS AND SYMPTOMS

There are various sign and symptoms, or warning signs to look out for that may suggest someone is hurting themselves deliberately. However this is not an exhaustive list and if you have concerns about an individual you need to speak to them sensitively.
• Wearing long sleeved tops throughout summer
• Social isolation
• Frequent unexplained injuries
• Problems expressing emotions
• Blaming themselves for events/problems
• History of sexual/physical abuse
• Victim of bullying
• Low self esteem and confidence
• Highly self critical and sets high standards for personal performance
HELPING SOMEONE WHO SELF HARMS

When someone self harms they have run out of other options, and to help them they need to be provided with the tools to deal with and express their emotions, whilst addressing the underlying issues. Self harm is a symptom of a range of other problems. The self harm cannot be addressed in isolation. The root problem needs to be dealt with. For example, a trigger to someone beginning to self harm may have been their parents divorce. This has caused them to feel unloved and rejected, and they may blame themselves for the divorce. These feelings have been turned inwards and the person begins to self harm. Friends, teachers, professionals etc may become involved and try and encourage the person to stop self harming. However if the original reason why they started to self harm initially is not dealt with, i.e. the feelings of rejection and guilt, the person will not be able to let go of the need to self harm to manage these emotions. Looking at the reason behind the self harm is crucial.

Understand self harm is their way of dealing with stress and anxiety. They have limited other ways to do this. Therefore to try and stop the person harming all together can be detrimental. Don't say things such as 'Promise me you'll never do it again.' You are taking away the only way the person can deal with life and overwhelming emotions. Before someone can stop harming they need to learn other ways of coping with their emotions. Only then will they be able to let go of their self-harm. Remember harming themselves works for them. It helps, if only for the short term. Underlying issues must be addressed if someone is to be completely free from any life controlling issue. If it is just the behaviours that are addressed it is common for the person to simply move onto another maladaptive coping mechanism to keep their control over their life and emotions. For example eating disorders or drug/alcohol addictions.

Often when people who self harm come into contact with professionals, they find the experience a negative one. Often they are seen as not ‘deserving’ of treatment and care because they have inflicted their injuries themselves. This is extremely detrimental as it confirms a lot of the negative beliefs that people who self harm have about themselves. For example, that they are worthless, a bad person, undeserving of kindness and insignificant and inadequate. If they are treated this way by professionals it confirms the person’s original faulty beliefs about themselves and the negative cycle of self harm continues.

If you come into contact with someone who self-harms don't judge them, try and understand and see the pain on the inside they are desperately trying to express, through the only way they really know.
ALTERNATIVES TO SELF HARM
As stated elsewhere, to truly be free from self harm the root issue must be addressed and dealt with. However there are ways to deal with the urges to self harm in the short term. Here are some suggestions. • Write down how you are feeling (poem, song, letter etc) • Talk to someone about your emotions and the trigger to self harm • Don’t be alone – go for a walk or spend some time with friends • Cry • Scream • Throw something non breakable • Hold ice in your hands to feel physical pain • Go to the gym • Tell yourself you won’t self harm now but if you still want to tomorrow you will (urges are usually quite impulsive and if you can get through those moments the urges usually pass) • Write words to describe your emotions on your skin (e.g. fear, frustration, anger etc) • Use a punch bag! • Talk to people who have been there – online discussion groups/Myspace etc. • Play a musical instrument if you can • Listen to some positive music (some music can be triggering) • Sleep • Have a relaxing bath (no razors) • Count to 100 • Deep breathing relaxation exercises • Ask someone to give you a hug...

My Interests



RECOVERY

Recovery is possible. There is always hope.
Maybe this will be the time you make some changes and begin to transform your life.
If you don’t try, you well never know how your life could change.

There are various things you can do to move forward and begin the journey to recovery.
• Tell someone about your self harm (see ‘how to tell someone you self harm’)
• If you feel you are depressed or have an untreated mental illness that is contributing to your self harm, you need to get some professional help. This will start with a visit to your G.P.
• Consider counselling for any underlying issues such as low self-esteem, abuse, bullying, family conflict etc.
• Start to try and understand yourself and your emotions. For example write down when you self harm, how you feel before you do it, how you feel after, what triggered the self harm. This will help you identify patterns to your behaviour and emotions.
• Start to try and use other ways of expressing your emotions (see ‘alternatives to self harm’).
• Find people you can trust to talk to about your self harm and related issues. Build up a support network of people you can go to when you feel the urge to self harm.
• Talk to other people who have been through self harm.
• Try and understand more about the nature of self harm and your own particular triggers. There are many self help books available. The one I recommend is ‘The Scarred Soul’ by Tracy Alderman.

The key to me being released from a life centred around self-harm was discovering the value that my life had. When I was self-harming I didn't like myself, in fact I hated the person I was, I hated my looks, my body, my personality, my temperament, my interests. Everything about me. I thought it was all wrong and I was insignificant and unworthy. I couldn't interact or socialise well with others because I didn't think I was worthy of their time or friendship. How could anyone else think positively about me if I hated myself? Nothing I did I was good enough, and I strived for perfection in every area of my life and criticised myself constantly.

Before I could change my behaviours - the self-harm, isolation etc, I needed to change my thoughts. Your actions and attitudes come from your thoughts. If you think you are no good, you will behave as if you are no good through whatever means - self-harm, eating disorders, depression, anxiety, drug addictions etc. These behaviours then feed into your original belief that you are no good. For example, I keep self-harming, so I must be a bad person and a failure. A negative cycle is created and the behaviours continue.

A person cannot make any lasting changes to their behaviours without addressing the root issue and changing their thoughts about themselves, others and the world. Negative/faulty thoughts have often been with us for most of out lives, and people make the mistake of believing what their thoughts tell them. For example I used to think nothing I did was good enough, I believed this to be true and let the belief influence my life and behaviours. When in reality a lot of the things I did were good enough and worthy of recognition.

We must challenge and change our thinking to change our lives and remove any negative and destructive behaviours. I discovered that I had been created by a God of love and I was worthy of Jesus dying to save my life. I discovered I was loved beyond all measure and God had a future filled with hope and purpose and destiny for my life. I now let these thoughts influence my life. This means I no longer have a need to self harm. I know what my life is worth. I am content in who I am.

We all need to advance. We need to move forward and become bigger people than we currently are. Our lives were designed for advancement. However we often make excuses and put it off by waiting for perfect conditions. Be inspired to advance, to overcome despite your circumstances. God did not produce quitters. Get rid of anything that is holding you back.


I'd like to meet:

Anyone who has self-harmed/still self-harming. Anyone who has experienced a friend or family member self-harming.

Anyone who works in the mental health profession with people who self-harm. Anyone who has been admitted to hospital for self-harm or related issues. I would like to know your experiences of being on a ward and the postive and negative ways you were treated by staff (what helped and what didn't). I can use your experiences to try and influence future care and treatment of people who self-harm on psychitaric wards.

I would also like to meet anyone passionate like me at removing the stigma from life controlling issues such as self-harm, and seeing people set free from their pain into the person God truly created them to be.

Music:


Books:

USEFUL LINKS

www.mercyministries.co.uk
Mercy Ministries operates unique Christian residential support programmes all over the world for young women aged 16-28, dealing with problems such as eating disorders, self-harming, addictions, depression, suicidal tendencies, unplanned pregnancy and the consequences of abuse. Girls stay for approximately six months in one of their beautiful homes, receiving life skills training and professional counselling based on Christian principles.

Check out www.mercyministries.co.uk for more information about their amazing life transforming residential programme.
Mercy Ministries

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www.todayscc.org.uk
Today's Community Church is all about life. We want to live life to the full; give life to all we come in contact with; and help everyone live the awesome life that God says we can! That's why there’s so many different and great ways for you to discover everything you can be, whatever age you are.
The Party is our version of church! We call it The Party because that’s exactly what it is. We believe church should be exciting, fun, alive, and a great place to make new friends. Every Sunday the Party features a fast-paced mix of live music, creative video, life-applicable talks, and loads of opportunity for connection.
I attend Today's Community Church in Wigan. I met a God who was relevant to my life and loved me with more love than I thought possible. I found people who believed in me. People who taught me that I was here to win. People who accepted me just as I was, whilst seeing my potential and the person I could become. I found somewhere that valued my gifts, that released me to serve God and others, that taught me life is for living well. I met people that I am honoured to share my life with.

Heroes:

People who are over-comers. People who do not settle for a second rate life. People who put in the hard work and the tears to battle through their issues and come out the other end stronger.

Will, for believing in me and never giving up on me.

The pictures on this site have been taken by Will Fisher. Check out www.flickr.com/photos/willfisher

My Blog

My Story...

I started to self harm when I was around 17 years old.  I felt I did not fit in with the people around me and I was not happy in myself or who I was.  My self esteem was practically none exi...
Posted by free from harm on Thu, 13 Dec 2007 06:38:00 PST

'A lot of small steps make a big leap' Dave Belfield

To get where you want to go is a series of small steps.  We never just arrive somewhere, there has to be a journey. You will never just wake up one day, and be happy and content with yoursel...
Posted by free from harm on Mon, 23 Apr 2007 10:26:00 PST

misconceptions of self harm....

I would like to clear up some misconceptions. Just because someone self harms does not mean they have a mental illness.  As I have said before, many people use self harm as coping mechanism for l...
Posted by free from harm on Mon, 26 Mar 2007 05:17:00 PST

The big question - do I still want to cut??

The honest answer is, sometimes, yes.  But now not very often.  I'm not ashamed to say that because it shows I'm human.  I also believe that in my weakness my strength lies.  My bi...
Posted by free from harm on Thu, 08 Mar 2007 04:07:00 PST

How to tell someone you self-harm

It's really hard to tell someone that you are self-harming.  I didn't tell anyone for over 2 years.  During that time I felt so bad over what I was doing to myself and I was so ashamed, but ...
Posted by free from harm on Wed, 07 Mar 2007 08:36:00 PST