Rob profile picture

Rob

Always waiting for something to happen.

About Me


It's been a long time since I rock and rolled, I can tell you that much...
I was born and raised in a little village in Kent (don't worry, this ain't gonna get all 'David Copperfield' - just a few salient details for sh*ts and giggles) which had a post office, an electrical shop and little else.
I did the whole school and college thing and emerged from Hull University with an outstanding 3rd in Drama and English. Naturally, I decided to have a go at being in a band, seeing as I had the hair for it at the time.
Being in a band took me from the shores of Southern France to the smoky dives of Hull (believe me, they're all smoky dives in Hull) and finally left me a castaway in the sprawling metropolis of Leeds. Armed only with my trusty girlfriend, Alison, (now wife) I left Leeds and headed for the bright lights of Brighton. Nice place. Stayed there for a couple of years, went to Bristol. Not so nice place. Good bridge, though. Turned round, came back to Leeds. Stopped. For now.
Apart from being a singer (lalala - that was one of mine), I've also dabbled with desktop publishing, browsed though bookselling, tinkered with telesales (boo), skivied for the civil service and... worked for Seeboard. I have also spent a short time as a paid actor, which was more fun than you could imagine or could hope for. I'd quite like to do that again, but then there's lots I'd like to do.
At the moment, I am working for a Mac-conveyancing firm, answering phones and avoiding difficult questions, and slowly raising a small child. In my spare (ha) time I write.
One day, I intend to get paid for it.
Yet another lost cause. Who's the patron saint of that again?
MySpace Codes

My Interests


  • Music, listening to and performing. I haven't got too bad a voice but my theremin needs work.
  • Writing, short stories, long stories, sketches and other stuff. I even manage to finish some of it.
  • Reading. I am a hopeless science fiction fan and proud of it, though I have been known to indulge in the occasional classic, contemporary or popular science title.
  • This is starting to look like a CV, isn't it?
  • Stargazing. Not quite astronomy. More 'ooh, look at the pretty lights.'
  • Acting. I've put this low down, because I'm not doing much at the moment, apart from the occassional Dalek/Wookie impersonation to entertain/bore the rest of the office.
  • Cooking. I do a mean lasagne.
  • Cinema. Cult, selected sci fi and black humour is my usual bill of fare, but I always have time for the never-tedious work of Jim Carrey.
  • Sarcasm.
  • Modelling. Terminally uncool but very soothing.
  • The geological composition of Nevada and California. No, really.
  • Pondering. Too much.
  • Drinking. It interests me, but when I do it I become very boring.
  • Taking long hot baths and drinking a long cool G & T whilst listening to Radio 3, reading JG Ballard short stories. Nothing too specific, like.

    • I'd like to meet:

    I'm willing to give anyone a free ear, I guess.Oh, and anyone who can tell me how to customise my page. Trying to teach meself th'old XHTML, like, but similarly to most things in life it's not what you got, it's knowing where to stick it.

    Music:

    The Cardiacs, Jackdaw 4, James Yorkston, Led Zeppelin, The Egg, Black Sabbath, G N R, NIN, Pitchshifter, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Faith No More, Rise To Addiction, William Shatner, Kasabian, Kings Of Leon, Polyphonic Spree, Sigur Ros, God Speed! You Black Emporer, King Creosote, Depeche Mode, The Stone Roses, Gong, Pink Floyd, Steven Hillage, Jeff Wayne, Radiohead, Muse, David Bowie (early), Orbital, Orb, Air, Roykssop (I think), The Research, Massive Attack, Goldfrapp, Stevie Wonder, Metallica (occasionally), Cult, Meatloaf (for light relief), Nervous Shakedown, Vatican Jets, The Wildhearts, Immune, Beethoven, Philip Glass, Tchaikovsky, Stravinsky and some other dead guys.

    Loads more that I can't remember at the moment - can't stand R n B though. Sorry.

    Movies:


    H'In reverse order!

    Top Ten, sorry, Eleven.

  • This Is Spinal Tap. Cheap gag.
  • Withnail And I. Obvious but still works for me.
  • The Big Lebowski. Rolling rocks tonight!
  • Koyanisqaatsi. Look it up.
  • The Lady Killers. I mean the original one.
  • Ghostbusters. Eighties magic.
  • Brazil. Has anybody here seen Sam Lowry?
  • The Empire Strikes Back. Best chase movie ever.
  • Amelie. Beautiful film.
  • Leon. Perfect, beautiful film.

    • Television:

    Way too much for my own good.

    But if you really must pry...

    The Sopranos, Spaced, The Simpsons, Black Books, Doctor Who, Battlestar Gallactica, 6 Feet Under, Red Dwarf, Star Trek, Family Guy, Buffy, The Day Today, Brass Eye, Jam, Nathan Barley - thanks, Chris - Green Wing, Garth Merengi's Dark Place and anything that manages to catch my eye, fish-hook like, when I'm drifting in and out of torpor like Ground Force.

    I am so weak-willed.

    Books:

    Huge flaming list. Edited highlights.

    Valis, A Scanner Darkly, Time Out Of Joint, The Penultimate Truth - Philip K Dick.
    the Drowned World, Crash, High Rise, Vermillion Sands - J G Ballard.
    Slaughterhouse 5, Breakfast Of Champions - Kurt Vonnegut
    The Illuminatus Trilogy - Robert Shea & Robert Anton Wilson
    Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas, Hells Angel - Hunter S Thompson
    Tiger, Tiger, The Demolished Man - Alfred Bester
    Venus Plus X - Theodore Sturgeon
    Gullivers Travels - Jonathan Swift
    Espedair Street, The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
    Hitchhikers Guide Quintessence - Douglas Adams
    Bad Wisdom - Mark Manning and Bernard Drummond
    The Elric Saga - Michael Moorcock
    A Brief History Of Time - Stephen Hawkings
    Everything China Mieville has done so far.

    Heroes:


    I don't really have any (oh, I'm so fashionable), though I do have a lot of respect for:

  • Philip K Dick
  • Douglas Adams
  • J G Ballard
  • Kurt Vonnegut
  • Chris Morris
  • Iain Banks
  • Simon Pegg
  • Dylan Moran
  • Bill Bailey
  • China Mieville
  • Tim Smith
  • Hunter S Thompson
  • Dave Allen
  • John Peel
  • Jesus. What?

    • My Blog

    Ain't written a blog for ages...

    ... I just been too damn busy!Not that I haven't had stuff that I've wanted to blog (you know the usual shit: work, street lights, money, music, books I havenl;t got around to reading, ideas that can ...
    Posted by Rob on Tue, 06 Mar 2007 02:54:00 PST

    Like putting a sticking plater on a severed limb...

    Joy to the world, all hail Rupert Murdoch and his benevolent media dictatorship. Yet another day, yet another step closer to ecological suicide. I can almost hear the icefields of Antarctica and Green...
    Posted by Rob on Fri, 20 Oct 2006 05:49:00 PST

    ...Because I ain't done this for months and it makes me look like a lazy twat...

    ... Which of course I am, on the whole, but that doesn't mean I haven't any concern for my appearance on this whole Myspace thing (is anyone still out there, apart from us middle-aged gits trying to l...
    Posted by Rob on Wed, 11 Oct 2006 03:03:00 PST

    A seasonal discovery

    Hey. You. The rock-steady crew. Hot enough for yer? Sure is pretty piping, which is probably why I am reluctant to get in front of the computer and type anything. Shame on the lazy boy. Just thought I...
    Posted by Rob on Sun, 23 Jul 2006 11:23:00 PST

    Nothing much...

    Hello everybody, Bit of a writing impasse at the moment - work for Sandman done, work for TINTV done, couple of bits I should be getting around to but feeling pretty knackerd today after busting my 'G...
    Posted by Rob on Sun, 16 Jul 2006 01:56:00 PST

    Have You Got It?

    Hey kids and kidders, heres a long blog for you on one of the craziest things Ive done yet: audition for the X-Factor.   Hell, I dont need no celebrity judge to tell me that I havent got the X-Fa...
    Posted by Rob on Fri, 30 Jun 2006 03:44:00 PST

    Deep and Meaningful

    Okay, it's coming up to 06/06/06 and I bet that all you would be Anton Le Veys and Lestats are getting all wet for the beast. Hell, even Doctor Who (Russell be praised) is getting in on the act. It ma...
    Posted by Rob on Sun, 04 Jun 2006 11:36:00 PST

    New Comedy and the bear pit

    Hello everybody. How yer doing? Enjoying the great, if slightly cliched, bank holiday? Good on you. I was watching a bit of late night TV the other day (coffee keeping me up and having some valuable '...
    Posted by Rob on Mon, 29 May 2006 06:12:00 PST

    Crap summer? There are reasons to be cheerful...

    Ok, so I am staring out the back window onto the sodden mess that was once our lawn and the weed-choked patch of ground that is 'the bit I'm definitely going to do something about.' The rain is fallin...
    Posted by Rob on Sat, 20 May 2006 06:33:00 PST

    Still thinking of blog-worthy material

    Ho-de-hum, the bane of the blogger. Not so much writer's block as writer's blog. Ha ha. So much to do, so much to do... so why not waste a few minutes writing a pointless blog! It's Saturday, th...
    Posted by Rob on Sat, 06 May 2006 06:33:00 PST