Tricia Stanley

I may look like an angel, but never claim to be. I am a very complicated person, simple in overall design, but there are demons in my past.. as well there could be demons in my future. I'm currently experiencing the best part of my life so far; parenthood. My son, Christian, is a beautifull baby boy who doubles in size almost every couple weeks. His father and I are in a blissfull relationship and will soon be married. I consider us married already, despite what government laws say. We share that bond in our hearts, who cares what anyone else thinks.
I am a stay at home mother, and we wouldnt want it any other way. Unfortunately this means that Christians daddy isnt so lucky, he provides, but makes up for his lost time by spending all his time off work with me and his son.
Now with a child in our life, we find ourselves staying at home a lot. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy it, bt it is the exact opposite of what we use to be like. Our idea of a good time is curling up together in bed or on the couch and watching crumby television or a movie. We play with Christian almost constantly, he loves his father and every little thing he does is amusing to the little guy. Shane has him playing drums, giggling, and already at such an early age, I can say my kid is addicted to the computer. Shane, in his spare time, loves to design. So Christian will be propped on his lap and off the two go, searching the web and exploring the many depths of photoshop and flash programs. I imagine that the colors and the sounds keeps my sons attention, but it's very apparent that it has to do with daddy. Lol, Shane launched a youtube page one day that displayed a barrage of nuclear bombs going off, including hydrogen as well. Needless to say, Christian was in total awe. I hate to re-iterate, but we would like to believe its the colors and whatnot. However, right after that video, Shane loaded a vid of baby bunnies hopping about and talking, funny thing is; Christian lost interest immediately. So either he carries the Stanley gene for destruction or he has a phobia of talking bunnies. I fear either may be true, but I think the latter may be a bit more telling, if it really involved a fear of talking bunnies. I say this jokingly, but you can easily tell he is his fathers son. They share the same slanted - cow eyes, the mischeiveous behaviors, and last but not least, their infatuation with me. Shane never had a father growing up, his grandfather stepped in to fill that role, and may I say he did a damn good job! But due to his lack of having a "real" father growing up, he questions his actions with his son almost daily. He loves him so much, but I can see it in his eyes that it kills him to even leave him for work. What can I say, not only do I have a great husband to be, but he is also a natural at being a caring parent.
I love my new family, I cherish my time with them as much as I can.
More about me I guess?
Im a 28 year old girl who feels lost in this world, or at least I did until I met Shane and our son was born. Once all that happend, the pieces seemed to have fell perfectly into the puzzle of what I would call my well rounded life.
I bide my time with drawing and doing other forms of art and photography. I love movies and music, even though Im new to it all. My Fiancee Shane has opened me to new music and Im still trying to absorb it all. My interests include; music, art, disney flicks, adventure flicks, and driving on the back roads of indiana. Or at least that is what we try to do, lol. I cross-stitch, I spend Shanes money, and I smoke like a freight train... but I don't smoke around our kid. My dislikes are bullshit men who stare at my breast and dont have the common sense to talk, only stare. It wasnt too long ago I questioned whether or not men even noticed me. And of course, like what all good boyfriends say, Shane assured me I was wanted by most men who see me, they just either are sneaky when they catch a stare, or they're intemidated by my six foot three inch tall, two-hundred and some odd pound boyfriend who, even without the height,looks pretty damn scary if you dont know him. And if you do, then that means you know his friends; A close knit group who would take a bullet for each other. And as far as his friends go, they're all similar to his mentality. They are great, honest, loyal guys whom I trust as much as Shane does. One is in New York now, the rest in indy, but this rat pack has a history as thick as the world wars. They are a great group, so great that I am honored to call them my friends too. If you look through my pictures, you will see who my real friends are; Deanna and David, the God-Parents, they are great and Shane has always seen David as a brother. Jason H, a man with the purest heart you will ever meet, we try and spend time with him as best as we can, but our lives just dont allow it sometimes. Erin, my best friend, we've been through thick and thin together, Im so lucky that Shane sees her as his friend too. Terry P, great natured, but a thug at heart. Jason L, many a night have I listened to Shane and him discuss every philisophical debate and always with both great points and counter-points. Chuck, he's a bit quiet at first, but you can tell he's an honest person with a great understanding of electronics. I could keep going, but like I said, if you knew my man, you would know his group. They remain as tight as the day they first hung out, even now since adult-hood has taken its toll and time has parted their way.
As for me, I have all the loved ones I need. I believe in karma and for some reason my debt is finally being paid off. I am truly surrounded by loved ones for once in my life. When I was young, I had Erin... but it pretty much ended there. If you wish to discuss my past men I have loved, we can. But I warn you, there wasnt much love and all of them barely defined what being a man really is.
Yes, there was one guy who was a published writer, a web-designer, and a semi-smart guy, but for every added I.Q. point, there was also an added skeleton in our closet.
With that said, lets move on.
I know what abuse is. Ive experienced it throughout my whole life. Ive seen loving parents... but mostly it was in movies. Perhaps I love the disney fairy tales due to how much contrast was in my life. Perhaps I never had a childhood, and in some Freudian way, Im transgressing into what old memories I had and now having the full opportunity to be a kid, a mother, and feel loved; maybe this explains me and my current happiness. But you know what, I doubt my life will ever relapse into what it use to be. I surround myself with new walls... they protect me from having to stare at my old barracades and bridges I sometime wish I never had a reason to have built or crossed in the first place. But these walls are nice and every day I look at them ensures me that there are no reasons to put in windows. I don't need to see out when everything I ever wanted is finally in here with me.
Now lets say for one moment I come across as someone you might want to know or talk with, then all is welcome. My walls do have doors, but may I ask that you politely knock first before treading in. Hindsight has taught me that not all visitors are stopping by for a friendly visit.
Damn, enough with the analogies already. :)
But hey, I am a very nice person, I am stubborn, but who isnt? I am always open to lending an open ear and I am always interested in great conversation. If you wish to know more or discuss whatever, please send me a message. Im looking for some cool people to mesh with and if youre from Indiana, possibly, we can get to know each other. I am a nice person if you catch me on the right day, at other times Im kinda a bitch!
On another note....
I love sex, I rarely drink, and when I get the chance, I mix the two.
Usually my day consists of reading sappy romance novels, play fighting with Shane, eating out ( I rarely cook), and smoking ciggarettes... and of course, the sex thing I mentioned earlier. Thats about it, Im your typical run of the mill Indiana red-head, minus the whacked out of my fucking mind- illness that most red heads have. Dont get me wrong, I have my mooods, but Shane and I both know "other" red-heads that have mental development problems. You know the type, supposedly book smart but cant share their emotions or intelect with anyone longer than three to four minutes without every man around them wanting to place their hands into their own pockets and slowly start squeezing the hell out of their own testicles just so they can block out the sounds eminating from the girls mouth. You know, those red-heads are the ones that gives the others a bad name. So, if you think Im interesting, add me as your friend. If youre not interested, no big deal, my day is full enough as it is, but it can always be fuller. Just please don't take any offense if it takes me a while to email you back. I go through spurts where I don't touch the computer for a bit. And just because you seen that I logged in recently doesnt really mean anything. My man logs in and updates my page along with adding new graphics. He loves using me as his muse and model, as if you couldnt tell from looking at my pictures. Oh, and if you like my pics, leave a comment, Im always up for criticism.
If you like the art or layout on my page, let us know and Shane will do some work for you.
About my man; He is an author of a rant book called The Divine Tragedy and is co-written by David Cook.
www.myspace.com/demusarts is his Design PAge, all of his work is cheap and top notch. Everything from Flash to animation gifs - whatever. His personal page is at www.myspace.com/karmademon These are both the sites he operates and builds, as well as mine. As a matter of fact, you can find his work on many myspace pages, some indie band pages, some other pages we are attempting to get off and running, as well as a Democratic Party page.
I think he's a smart man well before his time, not to mention he has a strange outlook on life... Thats why we mesh so well.
If you want to know more, send me an email. Thanks,
Patricia Ann Stanley

Photo by Demus Arts
Where Else To Find Me:
http://www.myspace.com/demusarts
http://www.myspace.com/gothicitymodels

http://www.flickr.com/photos/gothicities/
http://www.flickr.com/people/gothicities/