Earthquake profile picture

Earthquake

Bustin' makes me feeeeel goooood

About Me

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I'm working on making life less interesting...
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TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name: Kelvin Scott Tyson
Birthday: 1-23-78
Birthplace: Savannah, GA
Current Location: Portland, OR
Eye Color: Blue-Green
Hair Color: Brown
Height: 6'2
Right Handed or Left Handed: Right
Your Heritage: English/Irish/Scottish
The Shoes You Wore Today: Dirty white tennis shoes
Your Weakness: Everything, but especially chocolate (& sweets), cheese, music, and meat
Your Fears: Not getting over my fears
Your Perfect Pizza: The Breath Buster (from a pizza joint here in Portland or something from "Vinny's" in Savannah
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Being happy (My goal every year)
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: None, every word was used equally
Thoughts First Waking Up: One day I will never have to wake up to an alarm again... and that day isn't soon enough
Your Best Physical Feature: None
Your Bedtime: Midnight
Your Most Missed Memory: Lots and lots
Pepsi or Coke: Who cares
MacDonalds or Burger King: Who Cares (but probably B.K.)
Single or Group Dates: Either
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Huh?
Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate of course (but vanilla is best in cokes)
Cappuccino or Coffee: Coffee, black
Do you Smoke: Yes
Do you Swear: Yes
Do you Sing: Of course not
Do you Shower Daily: Usually yes, sometimes twice
Have you Been in Love: no comment
Do you want to go to College: Already did, but sure I'll go again, why not?
Do you want to get Married: Not really
Do you believe in yourself: Not usually
Do you get Motion Sickness: No
Do you think you are Attractive: No
Are you a Health Freak: No
Do you get along with your Parents: Occassonally
Do you like Thunderstorms: Of course
Do you play an Instrument: Try to
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: Yes
In the past month have you Smoked: Yes
In the past month have you been on Drugs: It's against the rules
In the past month have you gone on a Date: Who cares
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: No, because Malls suck
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: The Oreo-Espresso shake @ Tullys is awesome
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: Yes
In the past month have you been on Stage: Yes
In the past month have you been Dumped: No
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: Is taking a bath skinny dipping?
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: Just your heart
Ever been Drunk: Uhhh... I think so?
Ever been called a Tease: No
Ever been Beaten up: No
Ever Shoplifted: Yes, when i was four
How do you want to Die: Without pain
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: A debaser
What country would you most like to Visit: All of them (pretty much)
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: Doesn't matter
Favourite Hair Color: Doesn't matter
Short or Long Hair: Doesn't matter
Height: Doesn't matter
Weight: I don't feel comfortable answering that
Best Clothing Style: Preferably someone who doesn't wear stupid name brands like Tommy Hilfigur or Roxy etc.
Number of Drugs I have taken: I'm high on life... and spreading the werd
Number of CDs I own: More than anyone I know
Number of Piercings: None
Number of Tattoos: None (yet)
Number of things in my Past I Regret: Tons...
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!
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Wishes and Hopes:
I hope to one day be a man's man. Right now I'm probably just a man's... boy...? Probably because I spend much of my time daydreaming of time travel. I wish I was Josh Veith, John Torreano, Ted (I don't know his last name) or pretty much any person that is always happy and liked by most. I hope to one day meet some old black men that sit on their porch and play the blues. I wish the south would loosen it's bible belt. I hope to turn gay and marry a flaming black man to make my southern family proud. I actually wish I had many of the qualities of Chris, not all, just alot. I wish I could write like David Sedaris. I wish I could write songs and scream like Frank Black Francis. I wish I was a girl. I wish I was as fun and funny as Emmy Hyde. I hope to one day thumb through Mick Collin's and Mark Mothersbaugh's record collection. I wish I wouldn't have gone to the incredibly super lame private high school I went to. I wish there were more gay men in my life. I hope to one day beat up John Bailey. I, of course... wish I could fly...
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And here's another dumb survey i took:
-R-A-N-D-O-M- -Q-U-E-S-T-I-O-N-S-
1. ARE YOU A LOVER OR A FIGHTER? Both.
2. WERE YOU A CUTE BABY? Most people were.
3. DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER? Not as much as I should.
4. ANY SECRET TALENTS? Yes.
5. DO YOU GIVE A DANG ABOUT THE OZONE? Yes.
6. HOW MANY LICKS DOES IT TAKE TO GET TO THE CENTER OF A TOOTSIE POP? How the hell would I know that... actually it's 147.
7. DO YOU CRY AT WEDDINGS? Yes, because I wish I wasn't there.
8. ARE BLONDES DUMB? Not any dumber than most people.
9. DO YOU LIKE IT WHEN THEY KISS YOUR NECK? They who?
10. HAVE YOU READ "CATCHER IN THE RYE"? Yes, it's quite possibly my favorite book.
11. DO YOU BELIEVE IN MAGIC? Yes.
12. DO YOU BELIEVE IN DIVORCE? Yes.
13. CAN YOU DO THE MOONWALK? Oh my god, I wish.
14. DO YOU MAKE A LOT OF MISTAKES? Oh my god, do I.
15. WHAT'S THE MOST ANNOYING TV COMMERCIAL? Most all of them. Especially the ones in between the few shows I actually watch.
16. DO YOU SHOP AT AMERICAN EAGLE? Why would I do that?
17. THE HOTTEST GIRL YOU EVER SLEPT WITH WAS? All of them... except 1.
18. DO YOU MISS YOUR HOMESTATE? Nerp.
19. DO YOU MISS THE SOUTH? Do I miss witnessing the persecution of minorities and gays, the 4 billion country music stations, being called a faggot because i recycle, don't treat women like objects, or don't drive a truck? Tricky...
20. FINISH THIS SENTENCE: "I HAVE NEVER _________" --- Had a foursome, killed someone, or peed on someone... intentionally.
21. ARE YOU A REALISTIC PERSON? I think so, but most people just say I'm negative.
22. ARE YOU A GOOD STORY TELLER? No, but I have good stories.
23. HOW MANY GIRLS WOULD YOU HAVE NEVER HOOKED UP WITH HAD IT NOT BEEN FOR THE INTERNET? 4
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-F-A-V-O-R-I-T-E-S-
1. COLORS? 1st green, 2nd orange
2. ANIMALS?: I really love most any kind of animal (except i'm not a fan of most small dogs (ie:poodles)).
3. RADIO STATIONS? Screw the Radio. Except NPR: (Fresh Air/This American Life)
4. BOOKS? "The Art of Peace," "The Art of War," and "Journey to Ixtlan - The Lessons of Don Juan" (To keep the girls off.)
5. PERSON TO TALK TO ONLINE? No one.
6. WHAT ARE YOUR TOP 4 FAVORITE WORDS? Poon, Poontang, Fingerblast, and Pulverize.
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-O-P-I-N-I-O-N- -O-F- -T-H-E- -F-O-L-L-O-W-I-N-G-?
1. HOMOSEXUALS? I like them fine.
2. INTER-RACIAL RELATIONSHIPS? The best, there should be more.
3. FAT PEOPLE? I love Ed. He is one of my best friends.
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(and last butt not least...)
-F-I-R-S-T-S-?
1. FIRST REAL BEST FRIEND? Ed
2. FIRST SCREEN NAME? I have no idea, but one time I was "Handjob of the Future."
3. FIRST FUNERAL? Well, I haven't died yet, and I'm hopefully only going to die once so I will only be in the casket at one funeral, which would of course be my first... Oh, you mean first funeral that I WENT to? Ohhhhhhhh... Probably my Grandmother on my Dad's side.
4. FIRST KISS? I don't kiss and tell.
5. FIRST CD? I don't remember. Seems like someone gave me Gin Blossoms or Red Hot Chili Peppers (neither of which I own or listen to anymore.) It also might have been a Pearl Jam or Nirvana Album.
6. FIRST PET? Dawg. SweetyPie I think was her name.
7. FIRST BIG TRIP? Mexico I guess, when i was in highschool.
8. FIRST FLIGHT? Chicago, to go to my Uncle Tom's (I think for Christmas).
9. FIRST JOB? Construction work.
10. FIRST MYSPACE FRIEND? Tom
11. FIRST LAY? Carrie Ahause. I was 22 years old and it was the year 2000 (I waited for the millennium.) I was on my lucky couch and she raped me in my sleep. It was a dream come true. I came immediately.
12. FIRST TIME HAVING BUTT SEX? Just guess. Johanna, of course. She told me that she had been preparing for it for months, stretching it out and everything. I believed it butt found out years later that it was a joke. I have since retired from butt sex. It kind of grosses me out. Butt I love talking about it.
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*WHEN WILL YOU DIE? (according to http://www.deathclock.com ) Thursday, May 5, 2044, at age 66... Get ready... (Wait a minute. According to this I'm about to go through a midlife crisis...) I actually want to go when I'm 69. Just like Evel Knievel
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You are Bettie Page
.. Girl next door with a wild streak
You're a famous beauty - with unique look
And the people like you are cultish about it What Famous Pinup Are You?
You Are 30% Extrovert, 70% Introvert
.. You are quite reserved
You aren't afraid of social situations...
But you very much prefer to go it alone
And why not? You're your own best friend! Are You An Extrovert or An Introvert?
You Are 0% Republican
.. If you have anything in common with the Republican party, it's by sheer chance.
You're a staunch liberal, and nothing is going to change that! How Republican Are You?
You Are 74% Open
.. You're a pretty open person - and you don't mind sharing the good, bad, and sometimes ugly.
And while sometimes you do catch yourself blabbing on, you usually exhibit restraint.
You're openness is quite refreshing, and it encourages other people to be open with you! How Open Are You?
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You are Green Lantern Green Lantern 90% Iron Man 75% Catwoman 75% Spider-Man 70% The Flash 65% Batman 60% Robin 58% Hulk 55% Superman 55% Supergirl 38% Wonder Woman 33% Hot-headed. You have strong
will power and a good imagination.
.. Click here to take the "Which Superhero am I?" quiz...
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"At the end of life our questions are very simple:
Did I live fully?
Did I love well?
Did I fuck lots?"
Jack Kornfield
(the last part is mine)
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No, butt seriously. I have been pretty darn happy since the end of 2005 (Starting a week after Aaron Krolikowski moved out of the house I was living in). So far it has been the best couple of years of my life. I feel very lucky to live in a great city, with a great job, and have as many friends as I do. Yes, I have been through some hard times, butt really, I can't complain... What a life.
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Myspace Layouts at Pimp-My-Profile.com / Turbolily

My Interests

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The internet, not actual things. I like my coffee black, my women thick, my noses big, my coke with whiskey, my chefs fat, my food spicy, my rockstars ugly, my dogs large, and my poonnannies furry. I love fried chicken and watermelons. I don't like to yell "Jeff Hague" alot, butt I do say his name on occasion.

I'd like to meet:

In the words of Asante:
"DO NOT WORRY ABOUT MY MANY FRIENDS, ITS A SIGN OF STABILITY, CONFIDENCE,, STRENTH, NETWORKING SOLID FOUNDATION AND ACCEPTANCE. THE FRIENDS HERE CAN ONLY BE DISCRIBED AS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL, TALENTED, SEXY, BRILLIANT, SWEET, FABULOUS, ARTISTIC, CONFIDENT, KIND, TRUSTWORTHY, ENERGETIC, UNIQUE, GLAMOROUS, GORGEOUS , AMAXING, DTERMINED, AMBITIOUS, WINNERS,ADVENTUROUS, NOBLE, SOPHISCATED, POLISHED, CHAMPIONS, IMAGINATIVE, TREND SETTERS, PIONEERS, CREATIVE, POSITIVE THINKERS, FORWARD LOOKING BRAVE, AND FUTURE LEADERS OF THE WORLD. I AM HERE FOR ROMANCE, FRIENDSHIP, RELATIONSHIP AND NETWORKING."
(I copied and pasted this from Asante's "I'd Like to Meet" section. You should check out his page. No, for real. Dude's a pimp. Also, yeah. I don't know what this has to do with people "I'd like to meet" but really is there anyone who could say it any better?)

Music:

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ANYTHING BUTT RAP THAT HAS CRASS AND DISGUSTING LYRICS ABOUT LADIES BUTTS AND SEX AND ETC.

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My Favorite Drummer
KEITH MOON
of The Who
"I Can't Explain" live on "Shindig" circa 1965:

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-F-A-V-O-R-I-T-E- -S-O-N-G-S-

*"Anarchy In the UK" (Sex Pistols)
*"Can Your Pussy Do the Dog?" (the Cramps)
*"Gangster Of Love" (Ghetto Boys)
*"God Save the Queen (Sex Pistols)
*"Ha Ha Ha" (Flipper)
*"Hurdy Gurdy Man (Donovan)
*"If You Want Me to Stay" (Sly and the Family Stone)
*"I'm the Face" (the Who)
*"I Wanna Be Your Driver" (Chuck Berry)
*"Loose" (the Stooges)
*"Loose Booty" ((Sly and the Family Stone)
*"The Man With the Photograph (the Vile Cherubs)
*"No Fun" (the Stooges)
*"The Passenger" (Iggy Pop)
*"Pussy Stank" (Andre Williams)
*"Sex Beat" (the Gun Club)
*"She's Like Heroin To Me" (the Gun Club)
*"Smith and Jones Forever" (the Silver Jews)
*"Waiting Room" (Fugazi)
*"Weapons of Mass Destruction" (Andre Williams)

*"Afrikaan Beat" (Bert Kaempfert)

*"Baby C'mon" (Stephen Malkmus)

*"How Can I Love You? [If You Won't Lie Down]" (Silver Jews)

*"I'm Through With White Girls" (the Dirtbombs)

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-F-A-V-O-R-I-T-E- -C-O-V-E-R-S-

*"California Sun" (as covered by the Ramones)
*"Come On" (as covered by the Rolling Stones)
*"Down In the Hole" (as covered by Frank Black and the Catholics)
*"Duke of Earl" (as covered by Frank Black)
*"House Of the Rising Sun" (as covered by the Animals)
*"Maybe Your Baby" (as covered by the Dirtbombs)
*"Mean Man" (as covered by the Detroit Cobras)
*"Personal Jesus" (as covered by Johnny Cash)
*"Remake/Remodel" (as covered by Frank Black)
*"Susie Q" (as covered by CCR)

*"Caravan" (as covered by the Ventures)

*"Cha Cha Twist" (as covered by the Detroit Cobras)

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-F-A-V-O-R-I-T-E- -R-A-D-I-O- -C-L-A-S-S-I-C-S-

*"Bang a Gong [Get It On] (T-Rex)
*"Beat It" (Michael Jackson)
*"Billie Jean" (Michael Jackson)
*"Born On the Bayou" (CCR)
*"[Can't Get No] Satisfaction" (Rolling Stones)
*"Farmer John" (the Premiers)
*"Get Off of My Cloud" (Rolling Stones)
*"Gloria" (Them)
*"Green River" (CCR)
*"Hanky Panky" (Tommy James and the Shondells)
*"Hey Ya" (Outkast)
*"House Of the Rising Sun" (the Animals)
*"I Got a Woman" (Ray Charles)
*"Mother's Little Helper" (Rolling Stones)
*"Outer Limits" ()
*"Sweet Dreams [Are Made Of This] (Eurythmics)
*"Tainted Love" (Soft Cell)
*"What I'd Say" (Ray Charles)
*"What I Like About You" (the Romantics)
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-C-O-N-C-E-R-T-S- -I- -W-E-N-T- -T-O-

Flaming Lips
Coachella 2004

Stephen Malkmus (w/David Berman)
"Blue Arrangements"
September 8, 2006
@ the Crystal Ballroom
Portland, OR

Silver Jews (w/ Stephen Malkmus)
"Smith and Jones Forever"
September 8, 2006
@ the Crystal Ballroom
Portland, OR

Frank Black
"The Water"
November 14, 2006
@ the Wonder Ballroom
Portland, Oregon

Flipper (w/ Krist Novoselic)
"Way Of the World"
August 2007
@ Dante's
Portland, OR

Stephen Malkmus and the Jicks
“Dragonfly Pie”
March 4, 2008
@ Satyricon
Portland, OR

Stephen Malkmus and the Jicks
“Church On White”
March 4, 2008
@ Satyricon
Portland, OR

Movies:

The films that Chris will make one day.
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Television:

Marquee Moon
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Books:

Magazines
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Heroes:

Frank Black Francis
Mick Collins

My Blog

Things I Say Alot

Well, there’s always these: "Dude..." "Sweet" "Sup?"And, of course, these:"The more the merrier""Share the wealth""Move it or lose it"and then there are others which aren’t even really my ...
Posted by Earthquake on Tue, 01 Apr 2008 01:07:00 PST

The Hidden World of Me

From "The Hidden World of Birthdays" by Judith TurnerJanuary 23 *Astral Color, Color Need, Apparel Color:Your Astral Color is Blue, which creates calmness and brings promise. Blue in your eniviro...
Posted by Earthquake on Wed, 26 Mar 2008 12:14:00 PST

Things I Like

1. Buttons that say, "TRY ME!"2. Being in serious situations where one person is pissed off and another person says to them, "Dude, chill out!" 3. Having the last laugh. ...
Posted by Earthquake on Sat, 15 Mar 2008 11:16:00 PST

Recent Great Ideas

1. The Nut Satchel - A bag shaped like a peanut. 2. If I was a wrestler from Nigeria I would call myself, "The Nigerian Nightmare."More to cum...
Posted by Earthquake on Wed, 13 Feb 2008 04:32:00 PST

Music that almost might be werth checking out in 2006, 2007, & 2008

some of these albums may suck, but some may not, and... if you happen to have any of these and want to make a copy for me that would be sweet... maybe we could trade something...    &nb...
Posted by Earthquake on Fri, 05 May 2006 11:44:00 PST

2007 - A Big Eff U To These 4 People...

a few months ago i moved out of the only house in my life that i could see myself living in forever. i loved that place and had a ton of wonderful memories, but for the first time in almost 2 years it...
Posted by Earthquake on Thu, 15 Nov 2007 12:10:00 PST

2008 - Another Wednesday Morning in the E.R.

The uncensored version / pardon my french. Yesterday I took my medicine, as I always do, which makes me drowsy, especially if I have a drink. I have carpal tunnel a little in my hands, they g...
Posted by Earthquake on Thu, 10 Jan 2008 04:58:00 PST

Favorite Front People

1. iggy pop2. james brown3. mick jagger4. michael jackson5. chuck berry6. david lee roth7. jimi hendrix 8. prince9. freddie mercury10. tina turner11. otis redding12. johnny rotten13. ray davies14. vin...
Posted by Earthquake on Wed, 26 Dec 2007 01:39:00 PST

My Favorite Quotes

"All fear is ultimately the fear of mortality in disguise - the fear of change." Deepak Chopra"Dream as if you’ll live forever, live as if you’ll die today." James Dean"Imagination is more...
Posted by Earthquake on Tue, 18 Dec 2007 08:41:00 PST

My Status, Headlines, Aliasses and Moods...

So maybe you haven’t talked to me in a while or were wondering for example, "What was going on with Scott in October of 2003?" I know it’s a thought that has gone through many heads. My em...
Posted by Earthquake on Sat, 01 Dec 2007 01:15:00 PST