tonylee

photo by the Bibi

3 is thee magic number,

i just want
to be able to be able to be,
at all times
in all places,
night or day,
day or night,
to
be myself
being picked up
by the shoulders
and bounced around the room
by
twisted
nasty,
thump bassed,
dirtay,
fat and funk sloppy
debaucherous,
decadant,
JACKIN
jackin
JACKIN
house musik.
dancing nekkid down the street
laughing out loud as we
dangle our feet over the edge of the universe.
i am the passenger, and i ride and i ride
discombobulation,
4am sneak attack
closet invasion fashion photo shoots,
high fashion eros,
voyeur,
exhibition,
nape of the neck, low of the back,
stoli vanilla&coke, stoli orange&coke
korean bbq, yakiniku, gyu-don,
improvisational cooking, food comas,
life documentation
capturing every moment on
paper, film, video, or audios
for future purposes of the absurd
the absurd

Fear is at the root of mans destruction of himself.
Without Fear there is no blame. Without blame there is no conflict.
Without blame there is no destruction.
But there IS Fear;
deep within the core of every human being
it lurks like a monster;
dark and intangible. Its outward effects are unmistakable.
Its source is hidden.
It can be seen on one level in furtive embarrassment,
argumentative protest,
social veneer and miserable isolation.
It can be seen on another level
in the mammoth build up of war machines in every corner of the world.
It can be seen in the fantasy world of escapism known as entertainment.
It can be seen in the squalor of ghettos
and the pretentious elegance of civilized society.
It can be seen in the desperate rat race of commerce and industry,
the sensational slanderings of the press,
the constant back-biting of the political arena
and the lost world of the helpless junkie
who has passed beyond the point of no return.
The tight-lipped suppression of the rigid moralist reflects it,
as does the violent protest of the anarchist.
But more starkly and tragically than anywhere else,
it manifests in the pale grey shadow of the ordinary person,
whose fear clamps down on all his instincts and traps him
in the narrow confines of the socially accepted norm.
Afraid either to step down into the darkness of his lower self
or to rise up into the light of his higher self,
he hangs suspended in between,
stultified into the alien pattern of nothingness.
But to a greater or lesser degree,
and manifesting one way or another,
all human beings are afraid.
And some of us are so afraid
that we dare not show our fear.
Sometimes we dare not even know our fear.
For Fear itself is a terrifying concept to behold.
We may confess to being afraid
of violence and pain and even ghosts;
and with such obvious terrors,
pigeon-hole our fear to our own satisfaction.
But fear of people, fear of ourselves,
fear of failure, fear of loss, fear of our closest friends,
fear of isolation, fear of contact, fear of loneliness,
fear of involvement, fear of rejection,
fear of commitment, fear of sickness,
fear of deprivation, fear of inadequacy, fear of emotion,
fear of GOD, fear of knowledge, fear of death, fear of responsibility,
fear of sin, fear of virtue, fear of guilt, fear of punishment,
fear of damnation, fear of the consequences of our actions,
and fear of our own fear?
How many of us recognize the presence of ourselves in these?
And if some of us recognize some of them,
are we prepared to see the full extent of them?
Do we know just how afraid we are?
And do we know the effect that our fear has on our lives?
Do we know how completely we are governed by fear?
And do we know that the world is governed
by the sum total of every human beings fear,
and ours is not excluded?
Do we know the extent to which
we are at odds with one another despite some promising apparencies
simply through our fear of one another?
Do we know the extent
to which we are at war with one another on every level
from personal to world wide
because we are afraid?
And do we know that wars and rumors of wars
mount up in an ascending spiral of violence and potential violence,
as the fear in the hearts of men intensifies?
Do we know that strife of every kind increase as hatred,
resentment,
jealously
and
prejudice increase,
and that all these stem from one thing only:
Fear?
And do we know that one thing only
ensures the escalation of the spiral of violence and destruction;
our own unwillingness to recognize the full extent of our fear and its effects
our fear of Fear?
For each and every one of us,
as long as he is afraid,
and unwilling to see with full clarity his fear for what it is,
contributes to the crippling conflict
that has become the hallmark of this world of ours.
And as long as there IS fear,
together with unwillingness to see it clearly and completely,
as long as human beings are afraid
and also fail to recognize the fact
in their need to isolate themselves,
in their outbursts of anger and irritation,
in their embarrassment,
in their sense of failure,
in their feelings of resentment and frustration,
in their desire for revenge,
in their guilt,
in their confusion,
in their uncertainty,
in their disappointment,
in their anxiety about the future and their wish to forget the past,
in their need to blame others and justify themselves,
in their sense of helplessness and despair,
in their revulsion and disgust,
in their need to be vicious and spiteful,
in their lack of confidence,
in their tendency to boast and protest their superiority,
in their futility, in their misery and in their scorn;
as long as human beings fail to see THEIR fear reflected
in these and a hundred other manifestations of Fear,
then they will fail to see their part in the relentless tide of
hatred and violence, destruction and devastation,
that sweeps the earth. And the tide will not ebb until all is destroyed.
from the back cover notes
from the 1971 funkadelic album, maggotbrain

...and your ass will follow