J-Balls - ProfilesArchive

About Me

Â«-(Â¯`vÂ´Â¯)-Â« I find bothering people fun sometimes/often. I used to race in CubCar rallies. I raise my eyebrows when I look in the mirror. I had surgery when I was 18. I'm better now. I don't mind warm beer. I have more then 10 000 greyhound miles. I have around 200 grainer kilometers. I enjoy scraping the dead skin off my feet after I take a shower. I think inoffensive jokes are more clever then offensive jokes. I still like offensive jokes. Sometimes I play an mbira. I sleep better outside. One day, I plan to be a millionaire (or at least a several thousandaire). I am currently putting off poetry homework. I want to grow-up, I just can't seem to find the time. I take comfort in delusions. I think I like dark brown hair the most. I enjoy being naked, but feel embarrassed the next day. I pee sitting down and standing up, but not at the same time. I save old cigarette packs in hopes of one day making something out of them. I enjoy staring at maps or subway walls. I think Nicolas Cage is a good actor. I might try to become a carpenter. I'm Irish on my father's side and my mother has a common French-Canadian ancestor with Madonna (Zacherie Cloutier c. 1690's Quebec). I'm self-conscious about my back and my teeth. I most commonly dream about getting into trouble for things I didn't do. I'm a sucker for a slavic accent. I have to go to school now.

My Interests

Ubercoolness and Regular Coolness.

I'd like to meet:

The woman in my dreams. The older one, with the wrinkled skin, grey hair pulled into a bun, and the ruffled blue dress with white lace on the sleeves. I want to know why she always scolds me for things I didn't do.

A Link to the Gamma Articles Myspace (opens in new window). Contributions being accepted for issue #3 out soon!

Music:

Sure.

Movies:

Sure.

Television:

Sure.

Books:

Sure.

Heroes:

All my Heroes are Farm Animals because they are smarter then you.
Sarnia Animal Farm, 2000 or 2001.

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Check This Shit Out, Sonic the Hedgehog

My Blog

Free Writing - Nov 5 05

Note: The following is from an exercise I do sometimes when I'm trying to write but can't think of anything. Read if you like, but I'm mostly posting it for a friend to see.Words think words through...
Posted by J-Balls on Fri, 16 Feb 2007 03:48:00 PST

tHE sONNET hAS bEEN dRINKING, nOT mE!

To my great friend in times of need, I raisea glass of thee to my puckerous notions.I need not except the want for you to save,the evening with your aromatic potions.Olfactory oak and coarse like emer...
Posted by J-Balls on Mon, 05 Feb 2007 02:36:00 PST

Time=Friction

Time = Friction. Okay. Let me see... Time supposedly stops when you reach the speed of light, right? And light moves as fast as it does (186,000 km/sec.) because it isn't subjected t...
Posted by J-Balls on Wed, 31 Jan 2007 03:06:00 PST

Why can't I put my own theme into 'Category'

Warning: the following is unedited 'emo' blog. Fortuneately for it, I'm sure, I was drunk for part of the writing. But don't necessarily let this entice you to read it. It was ...
Posted by J-Balls on Thu, 25 Jan 2007 10:34:00 PST

Take Comfort in the Sadness

Take comfort in the sadness,the dark warmth of a thick blanketpulled from head to toe,with movements and thought constrainedlike the first apple pluckedof God's forbidden sustinanceand Satan's feminin...
Posted by J-Balls on Sun, 21 Jan 2007 01:15:00 PST

Other News Headlines

Area teen uses iPhoto to create mirror image jpegs that look like breasts: &nbs p; &nbs p; ...
Posted by J-Balls on Fri, 19 Jan 2007 03:06:00 PST

Area Man Sought In Recent Bouts of Elevator Flatulence

Local authorities have connected Oak Hills resident Keith Tomorie to at least five incidents of releasing torrent flatulence in crowded office elevators. On one particularly brutal occasion, the...
Posted by J-Balls on Fri, 19 Jan 2007 02:53:00 PST

Wishing I Could Buy Some Fireball

Sitting, eating69 cent apple pie.Wishing ice cream would fit in my freezer.Wishing Kerouac had a stronger liver,Thompson and Hemmingway a stonger skull.Wishing I could buy Fireball whisky in this prov...
Posted by J-Balls on Thu, 18 Jan 2007 09:09:00 PST