Im tough as hell, when i hide behind my dad and bark...it's just because I want him to take care of my "light work"..Also, Im lightening fast...if you drop a piece of food...POOF! I can lick my own junk very lovingly and so so slow in the middle of the night at the foot of your bed....that sounds so gorgeous. I fart whenever I want, eat my barf and chase squirrels. I like to stare at people for literally 2 to 3 hours at a time and like to ride in my dads Tahoe even though it literally takes me 14 tries to get in and he just stares at me ....taking videos with his camera phone....its ok, i sleep with my "groceries" in his face and shed all over his clothes and chew holes in the crotch of his boxers. I eat dead birds at the park in 2 seconds flat and cough up feathers. I roll in feces. I chew on doors. I get super uneasy when people point at me while im taking a poop. I can eat a whole box of stovetop stuffing in about 5 minutes. My butt smells like metal every other month for no apparent reason. I will roll over 40 times in a row for a pretzel. I can smell a jerky treat form 7 blocks away. A cat beat me up once. His name was Hansel...so that makes it worse. My feet smell like a crispy vacuum bag. My ears are the exact same consistency of bologna..with hair.
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