not ed's slave profile picture

not ed's slave

eds_slave

About Me

i'm jen. i'm recovering from bulimia and i also have bipolar. i want to see the world change the way it views mental illness!i mod the group "not ed's slaves" for those seeking pro-recovery encouragement/ friendship with others with eating disorders.
eyes through the bipolar lens:
what is bipolar II?According to the definition in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV), Bipolar II disorder is "characterized by one or more Major Depressive Episodes accompanied by at least one Hypomanic Episode." The key difference between Bipolar I and Bipolar II is that Bipolar II has hypomanic but not manic episodes. Also, while those with Bipolar I disorder may experience additional psychotic symptoms such as delusions and hallucinations, Bipolar II by definition cannot have psychotic features.The signs which would lead to a diagnosis of Bipolar II disorder are:♥ One or more major depressive episodes
♥ At least one hypomanic episode
♥ There has never been a manic or mixed episode
♥ Another disorder is not responsible for symptoms
♥ Symptoms cause distress or impair functioning
Symptoms and characteristics of depression include:* Decreased energy
* Weight loss or gain
* Despair
* Irritability
* Uncontrollable crying
Symptoms and characteristics of hypomania include:* Grandiosity
* Decreased need for sleep
* Pressured speech
* Racing thoughts
* Distractibility
* Tendency to engage in behavior that could have serious consequences, such as spending recklessly or inappropriate sexual encounters
* Excess energyIt should be noted that the symptoms of hypomania are the same as for mania, but they are less severe.This summary was written by me with the DSM-IV criteria taken straight from the DSM-IVmania vs. hypomaniaBipolar II's hypomania isn't that bad. Hell, it’s actually kind of nice to have that extra boost. It’s above “normal” (as if there were such a thing), but it’s not so high that you’re running out in the streets screaming that you’re Jesus and jumping off bridges because they think they can walk on water (though they aren’t suicidal). If that productive boost lasts for a few weeks, you can eat off my floor, your floor, and off the floor of the entire city of Spokane. People write books because they don’t sleep. They aren’t tired, and they think sleep is a waste of time.Mania, like depression, is the other real problem, but the complete opposite. Mania lands you in the hospital. Hypomania sometimes lands you in your pdoc’s office to get your meds looked at. Mania isn’t good.A Hypomanic episode is similar to a manic episode, except to a lesser extent. As stated above, manic episodes usually require hospitalization; hypomanic episodes do not. Hypomania tends to greatly increase creativity and productivity increases dramatically. Some may not consider this an impairment. In mania, there is a definite impairment. It is a state of psychosis. The person engages in extremely reckless activities that could easily hurt or kill himself/herself, all the while thinking he or she is invincible to the situation. In Bipolar II, there is hypomania and severe depression; in Bipolar I, there is mania, and depression which may or may not be severe.This summary was written by me.mixed episodeAccording to the strict diagnostic guidelines of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders or DSM-IV, relatively few people with bipolar disorder ever experience a mixed episode.This is because the DSM-IV describes a mixed episode as a period of at least one week when the standards are met for both a manic (not hypomanic) and a major depressive episode, and the mood disturbance is severe enough to impair job performance, social activities or relationships, or to require hospitalization, or there are psychotic features, and the symptoms are not caused by drug use or a medical condition.This definition leaves out anyone with bipolar II disorder, and anyone with bipolar I disorder who experiences both manic and depressive symptoms at the same time but with less severity.It also leaves all those patients who have a combination of symptoms of mania/hypomania and depression with no name for what they're going through.Understandably, there is pressure both within the psychiatric and psychological community and among people with bipolar disorder to relax the DSM-IV definition.As long ago as 1921, Dr. Emil Kraepelin described several kinds of mixed states, including excited or agitated depression and depression with isolated manic symptoms1. In 2000, noted bipolar researcher Dr. Hagop Agiskal reported that mania with few depressive symptoms represents the most prevalent kind of mixed or dysphoric mania.In a 2005 study, Benazzi found that more than half of patients diagnosed with major depression also had racing thoughts. He concluded that this condition was a link between major depressive disorder without racing thoughts and bipolar II disorder. It should be noted, though, that people with bipolar II disorder and cyclothymia may also experience depression with anxiety symptoms and/or racing thoughts.Currently, there is no named diagnosis for this type of episode; hopefully the next edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders - DSM-V - will address this as a subtype of mixed episodes.No one disputes that there are more types of mixed states than the DSM-IV allows. Since the next edition, DSM-V, is not due for publication until 2011, the best doctors and patients can do for now is be very clear to each other just what "mix" of symptoms are present when an episode's symptoms and behaviors include more than pure mania, hypomania or depression. Just saying "It's a mixed episode" is not clear enough.bipolar.about.combipolar disorder facts♥ Did you know that it can take up to ten years to diagnose bipolar disorder? I got lucky. It took me five years.♥ Forty-one percent abused alcohol or drugs when their illness was not being successfully managed, compared to 13% when the illness was being managed.♥ Supportive relationships with family members (including spouses) is key to the day-to-day management of manic-depressive illness, according to 90% of those surveyed.♥ On average, correct diagnosis of manic-depressive illness is made eight years after seeking treatment and 3.3 doctors later.♥ Fifty-nine percent of manic-depressive patients reported symptoms of their illness during or before adolescence; however, half did not receive assistance for their illness for five years or more.♥ Twenty-one percent have at one time discontinued use of medication due solely to financial constraints.♥ In addition to the almost universal use of medication in the treatment of bipolar disorder, one-on-one psychotherapy was reported as a type of treatment used by 82% at some point during their illness. Support groups have been used by 73% of those surveyed, and group therapy was used by 52%.courtesy of bipolarhome.orgmedication overviewThe use of medications can be, in many cases, very helpful and sometimes life-changing for a person struggling with a mental illness. However, if a medication is prescribed, if should be used in conjunction with talk therapy until it is determined that the medication is used for maintenance only. General practitioners (GP’s) often prescribe antidepressants, but they are often poorly educated about them, therefore it is important to see a psychiatrist for psychotropic (mood) medications.Be aware that there are almost always side effects with any medication. Some are worse than others. The most important one to be aware of is the potential risk for suicide. Seems ironic, right? Yeah. Sometimes people get soooo depressed they can’t even move, even to attempt suicide, despite having suicidal thoughts. When they start to feel better with a drug, they begin to have the motivation to carry it out. It doesn’t always happen, but it is important to be aware of.The following is all info I have learned along the way.Medications fall into several categories:-Antidepressants are prescribed for, you got it, depression. Many of the SSRI medications are also prescribed for anxiety disorders. Prozac is currently the only med FDA approved for kids 18 and under (I guess that didn’t apply to me when I was a kid). Antidepressants fall into four categories:-SSRIs: Standing for Selective Seratonin Reuptake Inhibitor, it does something science-y involving the neurotransmitter serotonin in the brain, which is a key component in depression and many other mental illnesses. SSRIs are the most commonly prescribed antidepressants, and the most modern. Examples include Paxil, Prozac, Zoloft, Lexapro, and Celexa. One major side effect with Prozac that I had, and that I’ve heard of others having, is acute panic attacks. They stopped when I went off the drug.-MAOIs: Monoamine Oxidase Inhibitors are rarely prescribed anymore because they pose more of a serious health risk than anything else, and there are other meds out there that can help just as well. With MAOIs there are a bunch of different meds you can’t take two weeks before, during, and two weeks after you take the med, and you can’t eat certain foods with them. Doing so will cause serious adverse reactions that could kill you. That being said, MAOIs suck. So keep away from the Marplan, Nardil, and Parnate.-Tricyclics: This class of drugs gets its name because of its chemical structure (there is three molecules or something like that). They tend to be used in more moderate, less severe depressions, where they can be used in lower dosages and have fewer side effects, and still have optimal effect. Examples include Sinequan, Norpramin, Vivactil. and Ludiomil.-Miscellanious: These drugs do something goofy that I don’t really understand, except I know that when I’ve taken them, I’ve definitely felt the difference. They target different neurotransmitters like norepinepherine (that’s a fun one!). Two miscellanies are Effexor and Wellbutrin. Watch out for Effexor. If you skip a dose, it can make you pretty dizzy and nauseous. It’s also notorious for withdrawal symptoms when you go off it. It was horrible when I did it. But it works well if used correctly. Wellbutrin is also known as Zyban, which is used to quit smoking.-Mood stabilizers: These are anticonvulsant/ seizure medications that are recently starting to be used in the treatment of bipolar disorder. Nobody knows why they work, but they help to balance between depression and mania. Some pdocs, like one I had, believe that bipolar should only be treated with a mood stabilizer. Others, like the one I have now, typically use these in conjunction with antidepressants and/or other meds, though carefully because mania could be triggered. For me, I am treated with a mood stabilizer and two antidepressants and without one or the other, I am lost. It is important to find the right med/ combo for you. Examples of mood stabilizers include Depakote, Topamax, and Lamictal (I ♥ Lamictal lol)-Antipsychotics: Used to treat bipolar disorder, schizophrenia and other psychotic disorders, antipsychotics are some pretty strong drugs. They are sometimes used to treat severe depression in conjunction with antidepressants. Examples include Seroquel, Risperdal, Thorazine and Haldol.I highly recommend going to http://www.crazymeds.org and taking a look. Those guys have a plethora of information on every psych med you could dream of, in easy-to-read talk. This is just a brief summary- go there for a much, much more in depth look at meds.This summary was written by me.bipolar & suicideThe most widely prescribed mood stabilizer for bipolar disorder in the U.S. is not as effective as lithium for reducing the risk of suicide, new research suggests.In a study that included more than 20,000 bipolar disorder patients, those taking the drug Depakote had a suicide rate almost three times higher than those taking lithium. The findings are reported in the Sept. 17 issue of The Journal of the American Medical Association.After adjusting for other factors that could play a role in suicide, such as other medical or psychiatric conditions, the researchers also found that the risk of suicide attempts resulting in hospitalization was 70% higher for patients taking Depakote.All but AbandonedLead researcher Frederick K. Goodwin, MD, says the findings should serve as a wake-up call to many psychiatrists who have all but abandoned lithium for bipolar disorder in favor of newer medications, which are heavily marketed by their manufacturers. He adds that this is especially true of younger doctors, who are often not taught about lithium in medical school."Lithium is the number one mood stabilizer in every country except America," he tells WebMD. "If it is really better for some patients, then we really should be rethinking this rush away from it. At the very least we need to make sure that nobody gets out of residency in this country without knowing how to use it."Roughly 1.5% of the U.S. population suffers from bipolar disorder, which was once known as manic depression. Characterized by extreme mood swings with episodes of severe depression, people with bipolar disorder are 10 to 20 times more likely to commit suicide than the general population.The introduction of lithium in the 1970s revolutionized the treatment of bipolar disorder and gave psychiatrists their first effective drug for preventing suicide, Goodwin says. Due to their ability to help stabilize mood, Depakote and several other antiseizure drugs have been used since the mid-1990s to treat patients with bipolar disorder.This study is the first to compare lithium to Depakote for the prevention of suicide. The 20,000-plus patients with diagnoses of bipolar disorder were followed over the course of the seven-year study.After adjusting for other suicide risk factors, the researchers concluded that the risk of suicide and suicide attempts was 1.5 to 3 times greater during treatment with Depakote than with lithium. The findings bolster those of a European study concluding that lithium is better for suicide prevention than another antiseizure drug used to treat bipolar disorder, known as Tegretol.Antiseizure Drugs Better for SomeThough he says that lithium is underused in the treatment of bipolar disorder, Goodwin says the antiseizure drugs, either alone or in combination with lithium, represent a better choice for many patients. Patients who are sicker, he says, and those who also have substance abuse problems tend to respond better to the newer drugs.In an editorial accompanying the study, Ross J. Baldessarini, MD, and Leonardo Tondo, MD, of Harvard Medical School write that preventing suicides among patients with bipolar disorder and other mental illnesses has been too long neglected as a sign of treatment success. The two recently published a review showing that untreated bipolar patients were almost nine times more likely to commit suicide than patients taking lithium long term."Not until this year has the FDA approved any treatment to prevent suicidal behavior -- with the recent approval of [Clozaril] for such purposes among patients with schizophrenia or schizoaffective disorder," the two write. "This approval was supported by a prospective randomized study showing about 32% lower risk of non-lethal suicidal behaviors ... Hopefully, such renewed interest in the potentially treatment-modifiable lethality of major mental disorders will be sustained and increasingly successful."written by By Salynn Boyles
WebMD Medical Newsestrogen & moodYou'd think Psychiatry would know more about this. Everyone knows estrogen has something to do with mood, right? It's amazing how little we know about this. While I'm trying to find research that might guide us clinicians in knowing what to do with estrogen in Psychiatry (measure it? ask OB-Gyn's to start birth control or other forms of hormone replacement? learn how to do so safely ourselves?), here are some basics that seem relevant.First, if you're thinking about estrogen as a hormone therapy, there is a 2005 10-page guide, compiled by the Centers for Disease Control (the authors are all women, as are those at the hospital system which reviewed the guide -- see page 2). They start with some really common-sense questions to help you determine whether hormone therapies are wise, for you. As you know, there are risks involved, just as there are with most of the mood medications we routinely use. This guide will help you evaluate those risks compared to the benefits you might be looking for. For basic information about estrogen therapy, from what appears to me to be a responsible organization, see Project Aware. Their volunteer, non-profit site is quite large, so remember when you're done, if you'd like more on the research on estrogen use in Psychiatry (such as there is), come on back. Here is my collection of relevant research for a psychiatrist interested in mood and anxiety. When there is enough here to write an organized story, I'll be back. At this point these are only "very suggestive" studies, not "tells you what to do" research, except for one conclusion at the bottom.Theme One: The basis of estrogen effects on mood is likely to be extremely complex, not simple In a recent review on of the brain chemistry of reproductive hormones in women, the following estrogen effects were described:
♥ an increase in brain norepinephrine levels;
♥ a decrease in dopamine release;
♥ multiple effects on serotonin, and even an effect on blood tryptophan levels (the amino acid from which serotonin is made);
♥ protective effects on acetycholine systems (possibly thereby protecting against Alzheimer's disease);
♥ effects on the production of neurotrophic factors, the brain's own cell fertilizers, now known to be very directly involved in the mechanism of depression;
♥ an increase in endorphin levels in the brain as well as the bloodstream;
♥ a possible relationship with melatonin, the sleep-regulating hormone (complex relationship, different in different animal species);
♥ promotion of the production of allopregnanolone, a "neurosteroid" with strong antianxiety effects; and
♥ a complex relationship, but clearly affecting the levels of DHEA, another neurosteroid with mood effects. The moral of the story: there is no simple way to explain "here's how estrogen affects mood". While you will often see the implication "too little estrogen leads to depression", and the related claim "estrogen can be a treatment for depression", you should keep in mind that this is a dramatic simplification of a complex relationship, most of which we don't understand.Theme Two: Too much estrogen may also be bad, perhaps associated with anxiety/agitationHowever, even though the effects of estrogen on the brain are clearly very complex, we psychiatrists are still faced with the fact that something about estrogen and progesterone clearly affects mood. For many women, the relationship is so obvious, they want to know if there isn't some way to treat what appears to be the problem, namely their changing hormone levels. After all, if that's the cause, why not treat the cause, rather than the symptoms?Two studies have shown that estrogen can treat depression in perimenopausal women: first came a study from Harvard showing that an estrogen patch worked;Soares and more recently smaller study from UCLA with similar results.Morgan (There is also an "open trial", meaning no control group, from HarvardCohen). However, as soon as you think about estrogen in this role, you have to think about the risks of estrogen. See that 10-page guide from the CDC for a good summary. It gets pretty tricky evaluating the risks versus the benefits; this excellent guide starts by asking you questions about what is most important to you in your health care.But even something so seemingly simple as raising the estrogen levels we know are falling during perimenopause runs into some problems. One research team found that in women with severe mood/anxiety symptoms (so-called borderline personality disorder, an unfortunate term and very complex condition), there was in increase in symptoms when they went on birth control pills, though only if they already had a high level of estrogen.DeSoto Might they have been getting too much estrogen overall this way? Or perhaps the sudden increase was the problem?Similarly, that UCLA study above included three women whose estrogen levels went up a lot when taking Premarin, and they actually got a little worse, including an increase in their anxiety scores in particular. Unfortunately, measuring estrogen levels when using Premarin is not practical when using this form. So we don't know the actual blood levels in this study. I thought this pattern was very interesting though. Here are two key graphs from their data. Careful, though: I'm going to offer you my interpretation of these results, and there could be something I'm misunderstanding. These are very new results (June 2005).graphNote that zero, no change, is in the middle of these scales. So if increasing estrogen levels helped treat depression in these women, you'd expect that their diamonds would fall in the lower right side -- right? Raise the estrogen, lower the depression score. As you can see, it wasn't entirely that way, although there was enough of a result to be statistically significant. To me, the result that might be especially useful to Psychiatry right now, even though it was only two women, are the two diamonds in the upper right. These women had a large increase in their estrogen level, and their depression scores got worse.In particular, what got worse was anxiety, as shown in the same kind of graph system for their anxiety subscale scores (part of the same depression scale that asks about anxiety):graphAgain you see that for the few women whose estrogen level went up quite a bit, their anxiety got worse. For now, then, here's my conclusion about estrogen replacement, which is much simpler than trying to answer the question "does it work for depression?" or "is it worth the risk?". Any woman with high anxiety who's taking estrogen replacement needs her estrogen level checked. If she's taking Premarin, she should talk with her doctor about switching to estradiol so that her level can be checked (because you can't do so on Premarin; here's a description of that problem). According to my OB-Gyn colleagues, in their experience "women seem to feel best when their estrogen level is between 50 and 100". One said he tried to shoot for 75. For now, if anxiety is a problem and the level is higher than 150 or so (in one of my patients switched over to estradiol at what was thought to be an equivalent dose, it was 400), then you should talk to your doctors about trying a lower dose. -----------------Causes of low estrogen: ♥ premature ovarian failure (occurs in women under age 40, who are pre-menopausal)
♥ fragile x syndrome (a genetic disorder)
♥ partial or total hysterectomy
♥ chemotherapy
♥ Tamoxifen (medication used in the treatment of breast cancer)
♥ family history/ genetics of low estrogen (in some, but not all, cases)
♥ thyroid disease
♥ PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome)
♥ anorexia nervosa and sometimes bulimia nervosa
♥ hyperprolactinemia (the overproduction of prolactin which produces breast milk)
♥ hypothalamic/ pituatary disorders
♥ cushing's disease for more info on causes of low estrogen, visit http://www.earlymenopause.com/causes.htmcourtesy of http://www.psycheducation.org/hormones/estrogenbasics.htm Get this FREE MySpace layout and more at MySpaceOrYours.net

My Interests

things to do to distract from SI, binging, etc. ♥ Write in your Journal
♥ Listen to music
♥ Watch a sunset
♥ Color
♥ Play your favorite instrument
♥ Tell one person how you feel
♥ PLay with a child
♥ Pop bubble-wrap
♥ Have a water balloon fight
♥ Paint
♥ Go to the pet store
♥ Take a long hot bath
♥ Go berry picking
♥ Hug someone
♥ Take a long drive
♥ Pack up some clothes for charity
♥ Go to a concert
♥ Take a leisurely walk
♥ Rent your favorite movie
♥ Go to the toy store
♥ Go to a movie
♥ Call an old friend
♥ Fingerpaint, Doodle
♥ Build with blocks. Build a tower and knock it down
♥ Build with Legos
♥ Spend time with your pet
♥ Wash your car
♥ Pick dandelions
♥ Have a water-gun fight
♥ Play Hopscotch
♥ Have a snowball fight with someone
♥ Paint a Room in your house
♥ Read a book
♥ Take a vacation
♥ Take a nap
♥ Count and roll loose change
♥ Throw nerf balls at a wall
♥ Remind Yourself "It'll be Ok"
♥ Take a deep breath, count to 10
♥ Ask your therapist to make a tape with you to use during difficult times
♥ Go to a favorite "safe" location (beach, park, woods, playground, etc.)
♥ Think of advice you'd give someone else... and take it!
♥ Say something good about yourself
♥ Make your own affirmations
♥ Meditate
♥ Call a Hotline
♥ Punch a pillow
♥ Gardening or houseclean
♥ Play your favourite game as a child
♥ Spend time with a sibling
♥ Hold and/or tell your favorite stuffed animal or doll your feelings
♥ Stay in touch with others through contact - don't isolate yourself
ed's and diabetes
warning signs & dangers Anorexia: Refusal to maintain weight at or above the minimal normal weight for height, body frame and age; Lowering or skipping Insulin doses in order to lose weight or maintain weight; Overwhelming fear of becoming fat; Distorted body image; Unusual eating patterns such as fasting, new diet or refusing to eat with others; Amenorrhea (loss of menstrual cycle); preoccupation with food, weight and body image; feelings of isolation, irritability and depression.Bulimia: Repeated episodes of binging and purging (vomitting, laxative or diuretic abuse, excessive exersize); the appearance of being a "normal" eater around others; extreme concerns over body weight and shape; denial of high blood glucose due to binging; feelings of isolation, irritability and depression.Though men make up the smaller percentage of those with Eating Disorders, in should be important to note that a recent study suggested that men with diabetes are at an increased risk for Osteoporosis (the loss of bone mass). The combination of an Eating Disorder and Diabetes would suggest that the risk of boss loss is significantly increased.If left untreated, Diabetes can lead to heart failure, kidney failure, blindness or death, while having an Eating Disorder increases the risks for heart attack, stroke, kidney failure (and many other things), including death.
care of Something-Fishyed's & suicideA study of Swiss women with eating disorders suggests that those who binge and purge are more likely to have attempted suicide in the past, regardless of whether they have been diagnosed with anorexia nervosa, bulimia or another eating disorder.Women with anorexia, however, are more likely to have suicidal thoughts than those with bulimia or other disorders, say Gabriella Milos, M.D., and colleagues at the University Hospital in Zurich, Switzerland. Their study appears in the journal General Hospital Psychiatry.The researchers also found that most of the women in the study had other psychiatric disorders besides an eating disorder, including depression, drug or alcohol abuse or fearfulness or anxiety. Almost 84 percent of the patients had at least one other psychiatric problem.Milos and colleagues say the link between purging and suicidal attempts might be due to a lack of impulse control, which would affect both behaviors.The higher prevalence of suicidal thoughts among women with anorexia could point to a different phenomenon, they say.Women in the study who reported suicidal thoughts tended to be much younger when their eating disorder appeared and were more fixated on their appearance and fearful of weight gain than those without suicidal thoughts.Self-Harming Behavior"Anorexia nervosa patients' starvation is a form of chronic self-harming behavior and continuously maintaining underweight generates considerable distress," Milos says.The two-year study included 288 patients diagnosed with some form of eating disorder. Twenty-six percent of the women said they had attempted suicide at least once in the past, a rate than is four times higher than in the general female population of Western states, the researchers say. Also, about 26 percent of the patients said they were having current thoughts about suicide.Milos and colleagues acknowledge that they did not analyze information on any treatment the women were receiving for their eating disorders, which could have affected the rate of suicidal thoughts.The study was supported by the Swiss National Science Foundation and by the Swiss Federal Department for Education and Science.www.about.comthings you shouldn't say
to someone with an ED"Are you sick?" "You look like you have AIDS"Let's remember that the person with an Eating Disorder ALREADY has a low self esteem. Why would you want to say these things to anyone, let alone someone with an Eating Disorder (and what if the person in question really was HIV positive, or suffering with AIDS)? There's nothing wrong with approaching a close friend or family member you may be concerned about and saying "you've lost a lot of weight and I'm concerned about you" in a caring way, followed by "I'm here to listen if you want to talk," but any comment that comes across as insulting or an attack will be heard defensively and unproductive for what your original intention may have been."Would you just eat already!" "I don't understand WHY you don't just eat..." "You better stay out of the *&%'ing bathroom!"These are not words of love, but of control. Threatening an Anorexic or Bulimic with "take-over" is not a good idea if you're trying to help. Let's try to keep in mind too, like we said earlier, there is a lot of guilt attached to Eating Disorders, so laying it on thick with statements like these only perpetuates that. If you're close enough, there's nothing wrong with a gentle "Want to have some dinner with me?" or "Talk to me" after a meal, but lets keep the mind games to ourselves. With statements like these the person seeking to help is only trying to pacify his or her own guilt in not being able to help, and looking for a quick fix."Why are you doing this to me?" "Would you look at what you're doing to your boyfriend/husband/wife/kids..."Again, with these types of questions you are only perpetuating guilt. You're basically saying "why do you make everyone so miserable" and "why do you burden us with all this worry" which is nothing but selfish, and even if not meant selfishly, will only be perceived as a "don't burden us with your problems" or "look at all the trouble you're causing." If you are close to someone with an eating disorder (and you might be if you're reading this) take it as an opportunity for yourself to learn to communicate more clearly, and to be a more understanding individual. Those suffering with an Eating Disorders are not DOING anything to you, but are struggling tremendously themselves, inside. You need to keep this in mind when posing questions that are selfishly motivated or hurtful (even if unintentionally)."Why are you doing this to yourself?" "You have good things in your life, what's the problem?"Those with an Eating Disorder do not choose to do this to themselves. There is no conscious choice (in most cases) where a person suffering from an Eating Disorder would prefer that lifestyle as opposed to one filled with self-love and happiness. This is a coping mechanism, a means for dealing with depression, stress and self-hate that has been built up over many years. It is a reflection of how the person suffering feels about themselves inside. Wonderful husbands, kids, supportive friends have little influence (other than sometimes temporarily) in creating the true self-esteem required for permanent recovery, to cope with life positively, and to learn to believe that we deserve good things in life and happiness. These disorders are about the person suffering and how they feel about themselves.courtesy of Something Fishywarning signs of ed relapse♥ Apprehension about well-being: a lack of confidence in the ability to stay well emerges
♥ Denial: denial systems become reactivated. They tend to mimic the defenses used to deny the presence of an ED
♥ Adamant commitment to wellness; Convincing yourself you will never be eating disordered again. This decision may be private or public, but once made a recovery program diminishes
♥ Compulsive attempts to impose recovery on others: Private or public attempts about other people's behavior and the quality of their programs. You begin to focus more on what others are doing that what you are doing
♥ Defensiveness: Defensiveness when talking about your recovery program
Compulsive behavior: Behavior patterns become rigid and repetitive. There is a tendency toward overwork and compulsive involvement in activities. Non-structured involvement with people is avoided
♥ Tendencies towards loneliness: Patterns towards isolation and avoidance are increased
♥ Tunnel vision: Focusing on isolated fragments of your life. Being preoccupied with some areas in your life and avoiding others
♥ Depression: Symptoms of depression begin to appear and persist
♥ Loss of constructive planning: Life planning skills and attention to detains begin to diminish. Wishful thinking begins to replace realistic planning
♥ Plans begin to fail: Due to lack of planning, follow through, and attention to detail, plans begin to fail
♥ Idle daydreaming and wishful thinking: The ability to concentrate becomes diminished and is replaced with fantasy. The fantasies are generally of escape or being rescued and an 'if only' syndrome becomes common in conversations
♥ Immature wish to be happy: the desire to 'be happy' or 'have things work out' becomes more common without defining what is necessary to be happy or have things work out
♥ Periods of confusion: episodes of confusion increase in terms of frequency, duration, and severity of behavioral impairment
♥ Irritation with friends: social impairment with friends family, support groups, and therapists become strained and conflicted. This strain is based on confrontations of progressively degenerating behavior
♥ Easily angered: episodes of anger, frustration, irritability, and resentment increase. Overreaction becomes more frequent
♥Irrengular eating habits: the regular structure of meals becomes disrupted. Well-balanced meals often become replaced with less nourishing junk food, overeating, or undereating
♥ Listlessness: Extended periods of an inability to initiate action. These periods are marked by an inability to concentrate, anxiety, severe feelings of apprehension, and feelings of being trapped or having no way out
♥ Irregular sleeping habits: episodes of insomnia, restlessness and fitful sleep occur. Episodes of sleeping marathons occur
♥Progressive loss of daily structure: daily routines become haphazard. Regular habits of sleeping and waking disappear. Meal structure disappears. Social planning decreases, missing appointments become commonplace
♥ Irregular attendance of treatment meetings: Attendance of support groups and therapy sessions becomes sporadic. Treatment loses priority and its effectiveness is discounted
♥ Development of an 'I don't care' attitude: an 'i don't care' attitude begins to mask feelings of helplessness and negative self-image
♥ Open rejection of help: Openly avoiding viable sources of help becomes evident through fits of anger or quiet withdrawal12 steps of EDA1 ♥ We admitted we were powerless over our eating disorder - that our lives had become unmanageable.
2 ♥ Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3 ♥ Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God.
4 ♥ Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5 ♥ Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6 ♥ Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7 ♥ Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings.
8 ♥ Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.
9 ♥ Made direct amends to such people whenever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10 ♥ Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
11 ♥ Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood God, praying only for knowledge of God's will for us and the power to carry that out.
12 ♥ Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.the female athlete triad Competitive athletes, particularly those who compete in low-weight sports like gymnastics, ice skating, and ballet seem to be under more pressure than most to keep an ultra-lean physique in order to perform well. However, any athlete can be prone to the female athlete triad. But what exactly is it?Factor 1: Disordered eating
Athletes with the triad will develop an eating disorder, or at least have some sort of disordered eating pattern. They do this in order to drop weight and improve performance.Factor 2: Amenorrhea
If an athlete is not consuming enough calories due to restriction and/ or too much physical exertion, she will stop getting her period. Or, if she is younger and hasn’t started menstruating yet, her period simply won’t start.Factor 3: Osteoperosis
If an athlete stops menstruating, this causes a drop in estrogen levels, which helps keeps bones strong. If she is also dropping too much weight, she is putting herself at risk for osteoperosis. This destroys athletic careers and creates many problems physically and mentally.Signs♥ weight loss ♥ no periods or irregular periods ♥ fatigue and decreased ability to concentrate ♥ stress fractures (fractures that occur even if a person hasn't had a significant injury) ♥ muscle injuriesAlso look for signs of an eating disorder.This summary was written by me. men and ed'sThe most common element surrounding ALL Eating Disorders, including Eating Disorders in Males, is the inherent presence of a low self esteemIt is estimated that 8 million people in the United States are suffering from an Eating Disorder, and of that number 10% are men. Personally, I am guessing that the percentage suffering that are men is far higher, but because of the old fashioned idea that this illness strikes only women, few men come forward to find the help they deserve.Right from its inception, this whole site has always been aimed at addressing Eating Disorders in everyone, but there are some issues that are specific to the male eating disorder community. As with all sufferers there has always been, and still is, an element of shame in being someone with an Eating Disorder ("I'm disgusting", "look at what I do to myself", "people will think I'm crazy", etc.), but for men and the old misconception that they cannot suffer from an Eating Disorder, the shame they face is often worse.According to Arnold Andersen and the research he did for his book Males with Eating Disorders, while women who develop Eating Disorders feel fat before the onset of their disordered eating behaviors, typically they are near average weight. Men are more typically overweight medically before the development of the disorder. In addition, men who are binge eaters or compulsive overeaters may go undiagnosed more than women because of society's willingness to accept an overeating and/or overweight man more-so than an overeating or overweight woman.Though it is more common for homosexual men to suffer from Eating Disorders such as Anorexia and Bulimia (because of the tendency in the male gay community to place a high level of importance on success and appearance), there are still many heterosexual men out there who suffer. This contributes back into the shameful feelings a heterosexual male sufferer has -- he may be afraid that people will think he is gay -- or that a homosexual and heterosexual male can feel -- that the illness is considered to be a "female's problem". I have often received e-mail from men who are suffering in silence because of these two issues. In addition, there may often be shrouds of secrecy because of the lack of therapy groups and treatment centers offering groups specifically designed for men. They may feel very alone at the thought of having to sit in a group of women, to be part of a program designed for women, and even at the prospect that a treatment facility will turn them down because of their sex.Men who participate in low-weight oriented sports such as jockeys, wrestlers and runners are at an increased risk of developing an Eating Disorder such as Anorexia or Bulimia. The pressure to succeed, to be the best, to be competitive and to win at all costs, combined with any non-athletic pressures in their lives (relationship issues, family problems, abuse, etc.) can help to contribute the onset of their disordered eating.It is not uncommon for men suffering with an Eating Disorder to also suffer with alcoholism and/or drug abuse simultaneously (though many women also suffer both disordered eating and substance abuse problems combined). This may be due to the addictive nature of their psychological health combined with the strong images put out by society of men's overindulgence in alcohol. In addition, men suffering with Anorexia and Bulimia seem to have more sexual anxiety. There may also be a link between ADHD, Attention Deficit and Hyperactivity Disorder, with male sufferers of Anorexia and Bulimia and self-injury. More research needs to be done in this area. For all those who suffer, men and women, there are many possible co-existing psychological illnesses that can be present, including depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder, self-injury behavior and substance abuse, obsessive compulsive disorder, and borderline personality disorder and multiple personality syndrome.The most important thing, overall, to remember is that most of the underlying psychological factors that lead to an Eating Disorder are the same for both men and women. Low self-esteem, a need to be accepted, depression, anxiety or other existing psychological illness, and an inability to cope with emotions and personal issues. All of the physical dangers and complications associated with being the sufferer of an Eating Disorder are the same. A great number of the causes are the same or very similar (family problems, relationship issues, alcoholic/addictive parent, abuse, societal pressure). Most of all, all people with eating disorders deserve to find recovery and the happiness and self-love on the other side.courtesy of something fishy

I'd like to meet:

i'd like to meet you!

Music:

relevent songs♥ addicted : kelly clarkson
♥ ana's song : silverchair
♥ cars & calories : saves the day
♥ mary jane : alanis morrissette
♥ me & mia : ted leo
♥ mirror : barlowgirl
♥ nails for breakfast, tacks for snacks : panic! at the disco
♥ paper bag : fiona apple
♥ perfect : alanis morrissette
♥ question existing : rihanna
♥ sea of faces : kutless
♥ silent all these years : tori amos ♥ this road : ginny owens

Movies:

relevent movies
♥ center stage
♥ for the love of nancy
♥ girl interrupted
♥ marnie
♥ one flew over the cuckoo's nest
♥ ordinary people
♥ thin (hbo doc.)
♥ thirteen

Books:

relevent books
** indicates books i have personally read & recommend♥ ** a grief observed : c.s. lewis
♥ american medical association's essential guide to depression
♥ ** an unquiet mind : kay redfield jamison
♥ a year in the life of bulimia : melanie j. marklein
♥ bipolar II : ronald r. fieve, MD
♥ bloodletting (a memoir of secrets, self-harm and survival) : victoria leatham
♥ bodily harm: the breakthrough healing program for self-injurers : karen conterio et. al.
♥ ** bulimia : a guide to recovery : lindsey hall
♥ ** diary of an eating disorder : chelsea smith
♥ ** gaining: the truth about life after eating disorders : aimee liu
♥ ** life without ed : jenny schaffer
♥ ** prozac nation : elizabeth wurtzel
♥ sensing the self : women's recovery from bulimia : sheila m. reindl
♥ ** stick figure : lori gottlieb
♥ ** detour : my bipolar road trip in 4-D : lizzie simon
♥ ** the best little girl in the world
♥ the monster within : facing an eating disorder : cynthia rowland mcclure
♥ ** the obsession : kim chernin
♥ ** the secret language of eating disorders : peggy claude-pierre
♥ ** the zen path through depression : philip martin
♥ ** thin : lauren greenfield
♥ ** thin enough : sheryl cruse
♥ ** reviving ophelia : mary pipher
♥ silent screams : lori henry
♥ ** skin game : caroline kettlewell
♥ ** wasted : marya hornbacher
♥ yoga from the inside out : making peace with your body through yoga : christina sell

Heroes:

my inpatient treatment team and my peers at montecatini. my outpatient treatment team. They are all absolutely amazing human beings who love what they do.tyra banks : for speaking her mind against the media, embracing her body, and helping others do the same!AUTOBIOGRAPHY IN FIVE SHORT CHAPTERS
by Portia NelsonII walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I fall in.
I am lost ... I am helpless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes me forever to find a way out.III walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I am in the same place
but, it isn't my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.IIII walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in ... it's a habit.
my eyes are open
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.IVI walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.VI walk down another street.

My Blog

epiphany

so i was taking a bath last night.  and i was thinking about how frustrated i was about the weight i've gained because i'm XX pounds above my low weight, and i was wondering how i let myself get ...
Posted by not ed's slave on Mon, 31 Dec 2007 05:39:00 PST

suicide

i came up with this list when i was suicidal and because of this list, i did not do it.  perhaps there are pros of committing suicide.  it will all be over, right?  wrong.  if you ...
Posted by not ed's slave on Sun, 09 Dec 2007 03:57:00 PST

Mental Illness at work

Special thanks to http://www.myspace.com/ga4mh">Get active For Mental Health! for letting me repost this :-)This is a blog I have been meaning to write for some time now. It is something which I feel ...
Posted by not ed's slave on Thu, 06 Dec 2007 05:00:00 PST

Misconceptions about Bipolar Disorder

Misconceptions About Bipolar Disorder Explained, From The Harvard Health Letter -- 31 Oct 2007Portrayals of bipolar disorder seem to be cropping up everywhere -- in the news, in movies, and on televi...
Posted by not ed's slave on Wed, 05 Dec 2007 05:49:00 PST

Depression & the holidays

Stress and depression can ruin your holidays and hurt your health. Being realistic, planning ahead and seeking support can help ward off stress and depression.For some people, the holidays bring unwel...
Posted by not ed's slave on Wed, 05 Dec 2007 05:45:00 PST

Surviving the holidays w/ an ED

from the EDCDon't let your holiday be ruined by fasting, restricting, purging, binging, self-harm, crying....whatever.You deserve BETTER!!!How can someone with an eating disorder healthfully navigate ...
Posted by not ed's slave on Tue, 20 Nov 2007 06:59:00 PST

OUR stories

our stories create hope.  they are our backgrounds, and show that we can and WILL recover.  we are walking this road together! My storyGrowing up wasn't bad.  I had two parents who lov...
Posted by not ed's slave on Tue, 06 Nov 2007 10:31:00 PST

selfishness & other things

late last month/ early this month i was in a manic cycle.  and with that, comes the crash.  i started to crash and this week, i said [stupidly, i might add], fk the meds.  3 days i didn...
Posted by not ed's slave on Sun, 21 Oct 2007 08:39:00 PST

10 Commandments of the Bipolar

Please note that this is meant only as a joke :-)Bipolar 10 Commandments1.  Thou shalt remember there are no other gods but thee.2.  Thou shalt set fire to as many idols and graven images as...
Posted by not ed's slave on Mon, 15 Oct 2007 09:03:00 PST

take a look around you

everyone feels alone from time to time.those of us who suffer from mental illness, self-injury, eating disorders, etc, feel alone all the time.my sophomore year of college, i was telling my therapist,...
Posted by not ed's slave on Mon, 03 Sep 2007 12:10:00 PST