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This Was ME, A Shadow of a Whisper
I Thought I Was Fat
I Let A Number on a Scale
Determine My Self Worth
I Was Never Satisfied
I Felt Proud in a Size 0
Even Though My Heart Rate Dropped
And I Blacked Out Behind The Wheel
On Good Days I Ate 200 Calories
On Bad Days I Just Didn't Eat
I Had A Lot Of Bad Days
On Really Bad Days I Binged
On Rice Cakes Chased with Diuretics
My Kidneys Shut Down
My Hair Fell Out
My Skin Turned Gray, Dry, & Wrinkled
My Bones Grew Brittle
My Breasts Went On Vacation
My Butt Melted, I Sat In Pain
I Stopped Getting My Period
I Lost All Interest In Life
I Ate My Internal Organs First
The Ones That Digested The Food
I Didn't Eat
Then My Muscles, Then My Heart,
Then My Brain, I ate my Brain
I Just Wanted To Be Perfect
I Just Wanted To Be Beautiful
I Just Wanted To Be Loved
I Used To Be Starving For Perfection-
Perfect Took Everything Beautiful From My Life
Perfect Made Me Miserable, Emotional, Irrational
Perfect Made Me Hate Myself
Perfect Seduced Me Into Isolation
Perfect Made Me Live in Absolutes-Black/White
Perfect Nearly Killed Me!
Here is What I Know...
Perfect is a LIE
Perfect is not REAL
Perfect is not Possible
Bones Are Not Beautiful
THIN is Not the Answer
Starving Does Not Numb The Pain
The Hunger Will Not Heal Your Anguish
Disappearing Does Not Make You Invisible
It Is Not Your Little Secret
It Is Incredibly Selfish
It Is a Complete Waste of Life & Energy
It Is Killing Your Loved Ones
It Is Killing You
You Are Not Alone!
There Is Hope!
Recovery Is Possible!
I Am Living Proof of It
It Is not Easy!
Some days It Hurts
Some days It Sucks
Some days You May Slip
But You Will Make It.
You Are Not Alone!
You Will Make It.
You are Warrior.
With the Wings of Loved Ones
Surrounding You
You Are Worth It
Choose Life.
Choose Recovery.
Choose Hope.
The World Is Waiting For You.
If you or someone you love is suffering
from an Eating Disorder, know that you
are not alone! Over 10 million women and
1 million men suffer from EDs in the US.
Eating Disorders are not Lifestyles, they
are Deadly Diseases with Fatal Consequences.
You don't need to feel embarrassed or afraid,
but please know that engaging in Eating
Disordered Behavior is a slow and silent
suicide that you have the power to stop.
You have a Warrior within you, that loves and
values the Beautiful Soul that you are
starving/purging/binging to death. Listen to the
voice within, it is begging you to LIVE.
If you would like more information about Eating
Disorders, or are considering Recovery and need
a place to start, please message me.
I would love to speak with you.