"*WARNING* This may cause you to vomit and or bleed from your asshole"
Your god lies dead in his own shit and gore
Engelkatastrofe
"A land of darkness, I saw it in a dream
a desolate landscape, where evil reigns supreme.
Give to us your life, I lead you to that place
of non existing light beoynd time and space.
I'll take you to the place where they meet, show you where it lies.
Where satan's soldiers gather, where Christians die.
Deep in my subconsious, my enemies fall prey
the twisted and the wicked, serve me and obey." -Naglfar
"I followed the footprints
Around in the snow
I ended up doing circles and came back home
Where I started to find that everyone was a sign
And all that mattered was that this fucking fire's mine
Sometimes you kinda have to die
If you're ever gonna find your way back to where your life is"
It's been a long time since I've rewritten my online "about me" so, here it goes. An updated, mid 2008 version of what people tell me and what I think of myself. If you really want to get to know me, drop me a line.
"Hardship falls heavy on the heart, yet, it can be a blessing if its lessons are learnt."
My name is Melissa. Others call me Metal Melissa and I accept that name very proudly! I move around a lot and I'm back in California for a good long while. I was born and raised in Burbank, California and stomped the grounds of Hollywood for a good portion of my early and late teenage years. I've lived in Florida, Pennsylvania and several other places. I'm not done travelling either, so, I apologize in advance if I take off again. I enjoy new places and going on "adventures" be it through the LA river, to another state, to different cemetaries, cities, hiking Hollywood hills or on an adventure through one of the fine books I'm currently reading. I love driving and going for rides at night. I love to travel by trains and planes.
I read a lot and I love reading. If I don't have a book or magazine in my hands, I'm reading or researching online. I also love cartoons. I watch Adult Swim every night religiously and love waking up to cartoons in the morning. I'll always lay around for a few minutes and see what's going on in one before I get up. My first favorite cartoon (that I can remember) was David the Gnome. I've been watching the episodes all over again on youtube.com. Such a great site! I also enjoy watching foodtv, documentaries and shows about body modification and TABOO!
I am into the darker things in life but they don't completely rule my personality. I'd like to think that I've matured a lot over the years. If you knew me a few years ago, you'd know the difference. All I can tell you is that what was will never be again. I'd also like to think that I'm an intelligent, cultured, polite, caring, decent human being. Pretty normal and maybe even boring to some despite my looks. One of those weird spiritual, occultist people might tell you I'm an animated person, full of life and a dominating energy. I'm not sure I entirely agree with that but I've been too many times not to believe it. I'm calm and collected for the most part. I may be quiet sometimes but I'm not shy. I don't get offended easily but I may offend you. I can be indulgent, I can be stubborn and a bitch but never to those who deserve it. Others say I'm too smart for my own good. Whatever that means... Oh, I love burping. Don't be alarmed and if you think it's gross or wrong for girls to burp, then you're reading the wrong profile.
I'm not your usual grim and necro Metal Head. I smile! Especially, when I get to see my favorite bands. You will find me at Metal concerts all over the place. My most recent have been PAGAN FEST at the House of Blues, Opeth and Dream Theater at the Universal Amphitheater, Visa, Amyst Darkness and Absolution in Hollywood, Down in New Jersey, Prong, Finntroll, Enslaved, Vader, Nightwish, Dying Fetus and Decapitated in Pennsylvania and Celtic Frost in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida. I see Opeth and Dream Theater EVERY time they tour and have for several years now. There is way too much hardcore these days. I LOVE FOLK AND VIKING METAL. I like my Death Metal Death and I like my Black, Black. I don't like this hardcore influenced Metal but I do like music other than Metal. Were you at Pagan Fest? If not, you're gay. :)
ODIN OWNS YE ALL!!!
I broke my leg, ankle, foot and tore my knee into shreds at Destruction's January 24th '07 San Marcos, Ca show. I just had reconstructive surgery and I'll be "out of commission" for a while. I break a lot of bones. I average two a year! Ouch.
I like working a lot. I like working with other people and even with the public. As shitty as retail can get, I can still keep a smile on my face the whole day and do my job probably better than most. My current job just bought me a lap top. What's not to love about working!? I want to be an English major, in band marketing and/or phlebotomy. I'm good at web designing but have yet gone to school for it.
I've calmed down a lot and I used to enjoy being busy and was almost always on the go. I usually hated staying home, wherever home might have been. Lately, even being incapable of going to too many places and doing much since my surgery I've enjoyed being home a little bit more. If you tried to keep me home like this four years ago, I'd have a shit fit, fight with everyone and probably run amuck around town drunk or on drugs.
I've underestimated the lack of intelligence and integrity of people today. I need to analyze things more and pay more attention to those around me. I have a small group of people I can actually call true friends. I can only count them on one hand and I love them dearly. I hang out with and can get along with a wide range of people. I love meeting new people, too. I'm easy to get a long with as long as you're not some egotistical, fake, materialistic douche parade. I'm honest and usually a passive person. Ask me and I'll tell you my honest opinion. I'm a down to earth person and very optimistic. An uninhibited lover and very passionate. I respect those of the same nature. People who are true and loyal to themselves and to their friends. I may be reclusive for the most part but if you can get through my shell and I let you, then to me, you're one hell of a person!
I like Football, Soccer and Hockey. I used to hate sports but within the last couple of years I've really started to enjoy them. I've ALWAYS liked Hockey but Soccer and more recently Football are favorites of mine. I've been to more Baseball, Basketball and Hockey games I can count on my hands and toes. I just wish I had really enjoyed them sooner! My teams are the Detroit Redwings (because they rock), L.A. Kings because they don't entirely suck and because I'm an LA woman! Philadelphia Eagles (the first team I ever got into and just stuck with) and America (because of my Dad). GOOOOOOOOLLLLLLL!!!!
I've been in and out (mostly in) the performing arts since I was in Kindergarten. I've been in professional performing arts classes, drill team, drama and choir. I did drill team in middle school, drama for my first year in high school and choir since sixth grade. I never made a living out of all that, obviously but the acting has sure gotten me through a lot of pickles and eventually into a lot of jobs. HAH I used to be able to sing but I think smoking killed that. I don't sing as well as I used to but I won't make your ears bleed and I can still shake my ass. You'll never see or hear any of that but I think it's something fun to know! *crosses her arms and acts grim and necro*
Oh, yeah. I smoke cigarettes, too. Too many in fact and I want to quit but just not ready, yet. My plan is that when I get better and can go back to work and school, I won't be so bored and will be able to quit easily. I hope! I drink occassionally but I don't do any drugs. The last few times I drank I re-injured my leg, so, I'm keeping it clean for a while. I used to do all of the above. Meth, heroin, psychedelics, pharmeceuticals, you name it and it's not easy kicking any sort of habit. I've been on the streets, in hospitals... if you think I don't know about these kinds of things, think twice. If you need someone to talk to, I may be of some use to talk to.
I AM NOT religious and I HATE it when people try to pray for me in public. I never have been and at this rate, I never will. I do sometimes wonder how we came to be and what will be but for the most part I think we simply rot in the ground when we die. I think our "spirits" or minds are too complex to just die with our bodies, though. So, it sometimes makes me wonder. Sorry, I don't believe some messiah came and created everything with simple requests, had some important child and said he was to lead the world. I know the bibles were awesome stories written by people about their time and over exaggerated about times before theirs. Nothing more. I also wonder why the sky is so beautiful at times and think about how awesome it is that no matter where people are in the world, we can all look up at the same thing. Too cool. I think there is other life among us and beyond our comprehension, beyond what our senses allow us to sense and beyond the distance of the farthest star a naked eye can see. I guess these are all random things I occasionally wonder about but don't dwell in thought about. I don't believe in God or Satan. I believe in myself and that's enough for me.
I love animals, especially monkeys, turtles and cats. I've had cats since I was about 13 and I recently found out that I'm extremely allergic to them. I probably won't have any more after the ones I have now. I've always wanted two dogs and two cats all at once but I guess that might not be a possibility for me later. I talk to stuffed animals but they don't talk back. I have a lot of stuffed monkeys and a turtle I call my children! You can find Monkey baby, Monkeyson, Turtleson in my photo album. A dear friend and I gave them small personalities that I think in most ways resemble (but exaggerate) me. Monkey baby for example is a neo-nazi. He supports national socialism and drinks too much booze for his monkey tummy. Monkeyson is the intellectual, the book smart son with safe, life smarts and *tries* to take care of his little brother. Turtleson lives with his Grandpa. They like to BBQ, watch sports and drink beer.
You probably think I'm insane now. That's ok. :) Lighten up, it's all silly nonsense. It's probably best that I weed people I won't like out now than waste my time and have to do it later and in short...
I like having things go my way but if they don't I won't be too upset about it. I believe I am a race car driver when behind a steering wheel and a mermaid in water. I hate lies. I hate hot weather. I hate conceit and the over egotistical. I hate materialism. I hate insects, bugs and deathly afraid of them. I hate migraines. I hate fake people. I hate homophobia. I hate it when strangers try to pray for me in public. I hate organized religion, period. I hate people that cheat on their significant others. I hate emo. I hate you more than I hate myself.
Last but not least, the ever popular body art...
I have nine tattoos and working on ten. My first real, professional tattoo was Opeth's "O". My second is a star on my right hand that I did myself with a piercing needle. My third and fourth are the letters "E" and "K" which stand for "Engel Katastrofebrann" or "Angel's Holocaust". My fifth is a reaper and my sixth is a slaughtered angel and my seventh is three monkies monkeying around on my right calf. My eighth is a cemetery and voodoo doll covering my entire lower left leg and my ninth is a tribal back piece. I have ten facial piercings, two in my bottom lip, my septum, bridge, right nostril, two in my right eyebrow, one in my left and two micro dermals in both of my temples. My first body mod was a carved star on my lower back by a hippy who's name is long forgotten. The next are brandings on my back done by my friend Erika. I had an inverted pentagram and various designs around it. It's covered up by my tribal now. One hell of a job, though, I'd say. I'm very proud of all of these things and I can't wait to get more.
fin.
