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Sadie Masochist

I have a natural deficiency of moral fiber and a malformed public duty gland.

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FRIENDS

When asked to say a few things about me, my friends have said such things as:

"Angela is the kind of girl that any man would be lucky to have his back in a brawl, behind the wheel of his getaway car and on top of him in bed."

Ian

"Angela and I used to date back in the 60's. We swang, which is what "swingers" do. I would hide in the closet and make sweet love to myself while she had sex with the men she picked up at singles bars. It was an unhealthy relationship to say the least, but we remain friends and we are now partners in a tanning booth franchise that allows us to live like the Trumps. She has a great rack."

Rev. Uncle Laffo Esq.

"Angela never got mad at me for hitting that grocery cart with her car when we left that booty shake club in the ghetto that night. Maybe it's because I never said anything when my neighbor had his car door open while he was unloading groceries and she sped past, hit it and knocked it clean off! One of the most memorable times we spent together was when we got that transvestite fired from a strip club in New Orleans. We kept insisting that it show us his/her penis and when he/she finally whipped it out to shut us up, he/she was caught and subsequently sacked. I will also never forget watching poor Ang getting taken off to jail in the back of a paddy wagon knowing that she had erm..."stuff" hidden in her bra! In retrospect, I can't believe we're still alive!".
Nina

My Gorgeous Guy

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Necrophilia

A girlfriend of mine went out on a date with this guy she met at a bar who happened to be a mortician. They went out and my friend got stupid drunk, thus she went down on him in his car when he droppe...
Posted by Sadie Masochist on Wed, 15 Nov 2006 11:17:00 PST

A Story About a Vibrator

I wasn't going to put this on my blog, but my friend talked me into it.Okay. I went out and spent the entire night at the Star Bar one night and didn't get home 'til dawn, as usual. I came in and sinc...
Posted by Sadie Masochist on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Beard Of Bees

I cant keep plants alive. I have no idea why they choose to commit suicide rather than live with me, but I respect their decision and the grim determination with which they carry out their resolution...
Posted by Sadie Masochist on Fri, 04 Aug 2006 11:54:00 PST

Don't Wank With Nair!

Im not going to say who because he is going to KILL me when he reads this blog, anyway...but he deserves it!!!My friend____ ______ was alone and feeling a bit lustful the other night and decided to er...
Posted by Sadie Masochist on Sat, 20 May 2006 08:10:00 PST

Why MUST I Be An Idiot?

It's just sad that I can't seem to get through a week without doing something mind-numbingly idiotic. I was visiting my friend today at the office where she works so we could eat lunch together and sh...
Posted by Sadie Masochist on Sun, 20 Nov 2005 07:22:00 PST

I LOCKED MYSELF OUT OF WORK...

While I am in school I am working as a waitress at a strip club downtown. It is good money and I make my own hours, so it is actually perfect for me. While waitressing, I wear a little pair of sh...
Posted by Sadie Masochist on Wed, 29 Mar 2006 01:17:00 PST

How To Ace Your Intervention

Thank you to Big Brian for posting this as a bulletin:   I am doing this as a public service, reprinted without permission from www.moderndrunkardmagazine.comIt may have already happened to ...
Posted by Sadie Masochist on Tue, 28 Feb 2006 04:21:00 PST

Decapitated By A Beautician

I am going to Germany in a little less than 2 weeks for the Punk and Disorderly festival and I wanted to get my hair cut before I went. I was driving downtown today and I saw a sign that said "beauty....
Posted by Sadie Masochist on Thu, 12 Jan 2006 01:26:00 PST

I Shut My Nose In The Car Door

This is gonna be quickly written and with many errors because I am in a rush. I just wanted to say, GOODBYE SHIT YEAR! In 2005, (In chronological order NOT in order of importance) I have ...
Posted by Sadie Masochist on Sat, 31 Dec 2005 10:41:00 PST

Pepsi=Roach Cola

I can tell you the exact formula for Pepsi Cola and how it is made. Get a pencil and write this down in case one day you would like to make it yourself at home! First you need a handkerchief. Doesn't ...
Posted by Sadie Masochist on Fri, 30 Dec 2005 08:55:00 PST