Lali profile picture

Lali

I am here for Friends

About Me

Semi-misanthropic corporate shill who often wonders if not getting that Black Flag tattoo was such a good idea. I resent the kids (youth is totally wasted on youth), I talk about gardening, various archane diseases, and my dogs too much.Conversely I have nothing in common with my fellow corporate shills, I'm not a mommy person (seriously human babies creep me the fuck out) and the idea of going to church every Sunday makes me want to hork. I like my dogs, my house, stale Peeps and love salt water. I require bi-annual (at a minimum) trips to the Gulf to recharge myself and still really love Halo of Flies. The simple sight and sound of a seagull has been known to make me squeal with glee and on multiple occasions I have been told to stop poking that dead thing on the beach by Twistworthy.I obsess over cookbooks, dental floss, house doodads, collect interesting bowls, and have developed a thing for rugs from Azerbaijan, Afghanistan and Persia. I organize the shirts in my closet by color, I'm a better savory than sweet cook. Cinnamon oil in candies makes my tongue thwell. My hair resembles that of an addled field mouse only with curls. I own way more shoes than I need. I have to get all of my pants hemmed. I have developed a compulsive fear of fresh water rapids and smashing my head on underwater rocks. I talk much more in public when I drink.. I like stuff. I believe that no road trip is complete without seeing a least one animal take a crap or hump. I need to read while I eat.Add tonic Add vodka Add lime StirFrankly, I'd rather be snorkeling.Oh and I actually really like grackles. Necesito zapatos nuevo Necesito la pan canela Necesito el mono Necesito la cermica de la vendimia

My Interests

cacti, food, diseases, animal behavior, heirloom vegetables, human behavior, hibiscus, Euro History, pre Vatican II Catholic conspiracies, orchids, loaches, nice clothes, cepholopods and ornithology

I'd like to meet:

Other crank bag folks who appreciate having to get up early for work, like interesting and /or tasty food, Mexican pottery, still like p-rock, and are into succulents. I'd also like to meet someone with a goiter or St. Vitus Dance.

Music:

On recent shuffle: Part Chimp, Toots and the Maytals, Action Swingers, Desmond Dekker, Reigning Sound, Negative Approach, Deadly Snakes, Aereogramme, Hunches, Yardbirds, King Khan & BBQ, Buff Medways, Great Lake Swimmers, Lowercase, 100 Flowers, Floor, Perry Como, Horrors, Dillinger Four, Cosmic Psychos, Birthday Party, 101ers, Cursed, McLusky, Soledad Bors, 400 Blows, Todd, KARP, No Trend, Cheater Slicks, Big Boys, Bastro, Charger, Harlan T. Bobo, Lowercase, Flesh Eaters, Jesus Lizard, Iron Monkey, Cursed, Proletariat, Black Lips, Fearless Iranians From Hell, Black Elk, Kudgel, Milkshakes, Necessary Evils, Pure Country Gold, Goodnight Loving, Bullet Lavolta, Federation X, Cheater Slicks , Martin Denny, Raw Power, Minutemen, Downliner Sect, Gino Washington and just about anything on the Trojan label recorded before 1969.

Movies:

Chances are I haven't seen it so don't bother asking

Television:

Cooking shows not bullshit kooky food person does some whacky hi-jinx around food (i.e. the of late douchey Food Network night time programing) but homest to goodness COOKING, history programs , Masterpiece Theatre, anything with cute animals which will make me go "squeeeee", surgery programs, and any documentary about just about any culture pre WW1. Shows covering Hadrian's wall, facial tumors or candy making are best.

Books:

The Sibley Guide to Birds andBarron's Accounting Handbook Fourth Addition - this week Standard Costs and Variance Analysis for Cost Centers

Heroes:

I like and admire dogs an awful lot

My Blog

Get you and your god damned stretch jeans out of my town

The wisest thing I heard about sxsw came in the form of a text message to Twistworthy, it read "Can’t we just fast forward this goddamn festival and get to baseball season already?" Normally, I ...
Posted by Lali on Mon, 17 Mar 2008 11:51:00 PST

Thank You Uncle Sam

For your generous return of my tax overage, as such I felt the need to contribute to some economic stimulus of my own - and now own six assorted gouramis and a trio of kubotai botias. Hooraw! Two dog...
Posted by Lali on Sat, 16 Feb 2008 10:35:00 PST

Icecapades 2008

First and foremost of the things in life that I truly hate and almost fear being cold ranks in the Top 5. Now I don't mean a pleasant sort of chilly where you bundle up and maybe your face gets cold I...
Posted by Lali on Wed, 13 Feb 2008 11:55:00 PST

"I Heard You Were Dead"

It started off as a simple premise: Fly to CA for work meetings in order to A. attend some all day work meetings in person as there is nothing as painful as a three and a half hour long conference ca...
Posted by Lali on Sat, 19 Jan 2008 07:29:00 PST

Now We Are Thirty Eight

Everyone has someone they work with who brings out the urge to ask this coworker "What the fuck is your problem? Why are you such a useless douche bag? Why? Why? Why?" My job is no different than anyo...
Posted by Lali on Mon, 10 Dec 2007 03:13:00 PST

Corraigh!

Cork I'm sorry I doubted you. We got off on a bad start this time, you and I, what with our bad choice in pubs, lousy internet service at the hotel and a lack of desire to be away from home. I apologi...
Posted by Lali on Tue, 02 Oct 2007 02:38:00 PST

Wanted: some tacos and some diet pepsis

The best call ever happened on Friday when I picked up the phone in the conference room, dialed the corporate travel group and said to the lovely Louise (I think was her name) on the other end. "Hi ha...
Posted by Lali on Sun, 30 Sep 2007 02:30:00 PST

Someday...

...I will make a terrific old man: I adore bad jokes especially ones involving obvious puns, I'm cranky, I love knee length plaid shorts and last night I fell asleep in the hotel pub with a pint and a...
Posted by Lali on Tue, 24 Jul 2007 12:43:00 PST

I need coffee

It's 8:30 am on a lovely, sunny Sunday I've been up for two hours already as part of my new, enforced lifestyle. Gone for a walk, done a load of laundry, sneezed a bunch and started getting life organ...
Posted by Lali on Sun, 15 Jul 2007 07:02:00 PST

please no itching

Busy weekend of limb hacking (tree) and subsequent nose smashing by hacked limb (mine), finger hammering (twistworthy's), and roof fixing. After the two weeks of solid rain a neighbor's tree launched ...
Posted by Lali on Mon, 02 Jul 2007 01:54:00 PST