lisa profile picture

lisa

oklahoma is diet texas

About Me

Profile modified by: The CricketSoda Myspace Profile Editor i exist. sometimes it is a pleasant existence, sometimes it is not so pleasant. i would say 90% of my clothing has holes in it, and my hair is rumpled, at best. i consistently look like i have just rolled out of either a bar or a bed. in a word, i am dishevelled. yet organized in practice. everyone else in the world thinks audrey is the stylish hepburn, buti have always preferred kate.i want to be a librarian because it makes me feel nice to touch books all day. and i like helping old ladies figure out what email is.i have a dog that is crazy. she looks like a spotted pig covered in dog fur. i want to travel more. i want to go back and fix all the shitty things i have done to the people i love.i want to live on a communal farm one day with as many of my friends as possible and brew the beer for all of us. i also want to learn to shear sheep and make the wool into yarn. how fucking cool would it be to do that? that's so fucking old school it's like pre-school. i am afraid of all doctors and consequently i have anxiety attacks everytime i start to feel ill. in case it is not clear to you yet, i am ridiculously neurotic. but loveable!

My Interests

some times i eat, sometimes i drink, sometimes i smoke, sometimes i masturbate, sometimes i have sex, often i sleep. i like bikes and banjos and tall buildings and taxidermy and ducks and parmesan cheese and singing in the car and driving to random places all whim-like and puns and clever word games and crosswords and reading and learning and progressing as a person and lying in bed all day with someone i love and going to Lake Tahoe and playing craps and coloring books and people with interesting noses and thick eyebrows and going on at least 2 vacations a year and cute sneakers and old t shirts that are super soft and striped socks and pop art and russian art and making out in scandalous places and recycling paper and communes and waiting tables and catherine keener and katherine hepburn and my brother. I don't like manipulative people, immature people or manipulative, immature corporations. i also seem to be very against career politicians, or politicians in general. though i am sort of obsessed with the clintons

I'd like to meet:

radical and/or queer librarians, bitchy bottoms, polite tops, and dirty talkers. people with craftmatic adjustable beds and/or chairs. cute girls with sexy bicycles. train hoppers and mail fraud-ers, or other peeps who like to break the law in harmless ways. neurologists, linguists, dog lovers, and baseball fans who want to explore the fact that baseball is poetry and actually a metaphor for life. people who like to tell a good story and drink a beer, and anybody who is struggling to be a good, strong and interesting human being. oh, and joe mauer.

Music:

um, everything... sort of: snoop dogg, iron and wine, the music machine, the misfits, curtis mayfield, old school rap (le trimm and JJ Fadd 4-evah), mom rock, dolly parton, bluegrass, joy division, belle & sebastian, the magnetic fields, the smiths, this one song by bobby caldwell that BJ got me obsessed with, t rex, brian eno and early david bowie, some tupac songs, the buzzcocks, michael jackson, the talking heads, cat power, rufus wainwright, neutral milk hotel, e.l.o. and styx, the organ, joanna newsom, giant value, and freakwater. i don't like smooth jazz, raffi or enya. or most electronica. and i hate korn.

Movies:

wes anderson's movies, most coen brothers, cabaret, they shoot horses dont they, mulholland drive, christopher guest movies, muriel's wedding, eternal sunshine of a spotless mind, being john malkovich, your friends and neighbors, welcome to the dollhouse, napoleon dynamite, fiddler on the roof, the color purple, cold comfort farm, mystery science theater 3000 the movie, werner herzog's documentaries, return of the living dead, heavenly creatures, and Little Darlings, with the 2 hottest 70's tomboys ever. Sigh.

Television:

buffy, the kids in the hall, the simpsons, the twilight zone, twin peaks, both versions of the office, six feet under, freaks and geeks, it's always sunny in philadelphia, that episode of Flavor of Love when the girl poops on the floor cuz that was totally fucking amazing; basically i like a total spectacle, or something that will rock me

Books:

'everything is illuminated' by jonathan safran foer; 'fall on your knees' by ann-marie macdonald, 'atlas shrugged' by ayn rand (i know i know, it's fucking good though); john steinbeck's 'grapes of wrath' and 'east of eden'; 'oranges are not the only fruit' by jeanette winterson; 'the people of paper' by salvador plascencia; 'to kill a mockingbird' by harper lee (i want scout to be my child); utopian/ dystopian novels; gabriel garcia marquez; vladimir nabokov; 'nausea' by jean paul sartre; 'you shall know our velocity' by dave eggers; 'prodigal summer' and 'the poisonwood bible' by barbra kingsolver; everything i've read so far by robert anton wilson, but especially 'prometheus rising'; 'fingersmith' by sarah waters; 'never let me go' by Kazuo Ishiguro is haunting me still; and crazy conspiracy books about aliens and the reptilian overlords who are controlling our world and our minds

Heroes:

anyone who finds truth in this statement: "you are lost if you forget that the land belongs to no one and its fruits to all" Jean Jacques Rosseau. also, robert anton wilson, and bette midler is the wind beneath my wings.

My Blog

comic brilliance!

oh my god garfield was so FUNNY today!! he ate, like, everything in jon's fridge! i mean, i know he likes to eat, but DAMN!! he ate EVERYTHING!!! when oh when will jon learn? god that joke NEVER gets ...
Posted by lisa on Thu, 23 Aug 2007 07:01:00 PST

patron profile: bruce s.

bruce s. is a 65 year old man. he comes into the library once a week, ocassionally twice. he is always in a nice, conservative suit, no flashiness. he always has a briefcase, and when the weather is w...
Posted by lisa on Sat, 02 Jun 2007 09:41:00 PST

hottest male celebrities, according to my exquisite taste!

in no particular orderMark Ruffalo Blue-Collar-Sensitive-HotBarry Zito Goofy-HotBenicio Del Toro Fucked-Up-HotClive Owen Smoldering-HotGael Garcia Bernal Beautiful-HotIce Cube Angry-TeddyBear-Ho...
Posted by lisa on Sat, 05 May 2007 02:12:00 PST

Hottest Female Celebrities, according to my exquiste tastes

in no particular orderAlicia Keys Nice-Booty-HotAudrey Tautou Incredibly-Cute-HotAudrey Hepburn Old-School-Incredibly-Cute HotChan Marshall (cat Power) Depressed-Alcoholic-Girl Next Door- HotCathe...
Posted by lisa on Sat, 05 May 2007 08:14:00 PST

denice denton rip

i just read an article in San Francisco magazine from March 2007 that has me angry and ashamed of being a UCSC alum. Denice Denton was the chancellor who took over after MRC Greenwood; she's pretty mu...
Posted by lisa on Thu, 03 May 2007 02:56:00 PST

some things that i am very fond of

-when people try to impress me-driving around in a car with friends on a hot day going nowhere in particular, just enjoying music and slurpees and warm wind and each other-going to places i've never b...
Posted by lisa on Mon, 02 Apr 2007 04:24:00 PST

some things i hate

-people who don't let you get off public transportation before they're cramming themselves in-people behind you in a queue bitching loudly about how long the queue is-the passport process--people who ...
Posted by lisa on Sat, 31 Mar 2007 02:43:00 PST

taking it to the EXTREME on the oldies today

today i have been telling those seniors what's the what.   first there was an old man who was staring at the copy machine and mumbling to himself. honestly i wasn't really paying attnetion to him...
Posted by lisa on Fri, 23 Mar 2007 04:36:00 PST

nerd-ity

once, when i was in junior high, or maybe the first year of high school, i owned a really really nerdy t shirt. this was during the era that looney tunes were put on everything, from overalls to mugs ...
Posted by lisa on Wed, 07 Mar 2007 05:36:00 PST

more people

i saw three amazing men today in the span of 3 minutes on 25th street between mission and bartlett. the first was a dishevelled red headed man, who was very twitchy. he smiled at me and kept darting i...
Posted by lisa on Wed, 21 Feb 2007 02:43:00 PST