dixie

i used to be sad. homeless and helpless. then a beautiful princess rescued me. Her name is Amanda. Now i live off the land. Here is my day: DIXIE’S DAILY ITINERARY5:30 am - If daddy isn’t already awake, rub my cold nose on his arm until he arises 5:35 am - Daddy feeds me and I stare at him blankly as if to say, “you didn’t get up on my account; Did you?” 5:36 am- 5:47 am – chomp on food as loud as I can. Be sure to intentionally bang my collar on the side of the aluminum bowl, creating the loudest sound possible. Also, lap up water with an open mouth; so that it flies across the kitchen floor (mommie will slip on it later). 5:48 am – Watch daddy leave for work and quietly laugh at him on the inside. 5:49 am - Mommies still not up? I guess tomorrow I will chew louder. 5:50 – 7:44 am -Take morning nap #1 7:45 am – I heard mommy move. Time to get up and harass her. 7:46 am – Rub nose on mommies arm. 7:47 am – Make Chewbacca type noises. What I really want, is her to let me out. 7:48 am – Mommy lets me out 7:49- 7:54 am- Pee 7:55- 7:58 am – Sniff the entire perimeter of the yard. Make sure all is normal. 7:59- 8:15 am – Chase lizards, snakes, frogs and bugs out of the yard. This is my turf. 8:16 am – Go back into the house with dirty paws. Blame the wind. 8:17 am – Stand over bowl and give Mommy blank stares, as if to say “Daddy forgot to feed me.” Hopefully it works. 8:18 am – it didn’t work. Time to see what mommy is eating. Beg for that. 8:20 am – She gave me part of what she was eating, but I couldn’t tell what it was, since I didn’t bother to chew it. 8:25- 8:45 am- Take morning nap #2 8:46 am- Kiss mommy goodbye as she leaves for work. “ I love her.” 8:47 – 10:30 am Mommy forgot to close the bedroom door. Sleep on the bed. Nap #3 10:31 am – awake, only to switch venues. 10:32 – 11:54 am- Take nap #4. on the futon. 11:55 am- awake. 11:56 am- 12:01 pm Lap up more water onto the floor. 12:02 – 1:45 pm – Take nap #5. Wherever I fall down. 1:46 pm – awake. 1:47 – 3:25 pm – Await daddy’s return home. 3:26 pm – He’s Home! 3:27 – 3:40 pm – Run in circles like a madman. Knock over or into as much stuff as possible. 3:41 pm- After he checks his e-mail he let’s me out. 3:42 pm- FREEDOM! OUTSIDE! Finally (I am so oppressed). 3:43- 3:49 pm- Pee 3:50- 5:45 pm – Reseal the perimeter. More work than it sounds. 5:46 pm – Greet mommy at the door. 5:47 pm – Back outside. 5:48 pm – 7:15 pm Randomly bark at stuff that isn’t there. 7:30- 8:15 pm – Beg for food. Interrupt dinner as much as possible. Try “drooling” on stuff. I think that will work. 8:16 pm- 9:30 pm- Nap #6. 9:31 pm- Daddy is in bed, so try to steal mommies spot before she can get there. 9:32 – 10:38 pm – Wrestle with mommy to see who gets to sleep next to daddy. 10:39 pm – Find nice comfortable spot above daddy’s head. 10:40 – 3:22 am Sleep soundly after a hard day. 3:23 -3:45 am – Randomly bark at more stuff that isn’t there. 3:46- 5:29 am- Take nap #7 5:30 am- Ahh, Another day in paradise.
I made this layout with help from pYzam , Look at these other Layouts!