Dan Swartwout - ProfilesArchive

About Me

Visit My Website: Swarty.com

Buy the 100% Certified
HPA T-Shirt

UPCOMING SCHEDULE

May 29: Columbus, OH @ The Funny Bone
May 30: Ashville, OH @ Dough Boyz
May 31: Columbus, OH @ The Funny Bone

June 3-4: Columbus, OH @ Cash Explosion
June 5-8: Vacation!
June 10: Belleville, OH @ The Dur's Homecoming Show
June 12-15: Richmond, VA @ The Funny Bone
June 21: Sidney, OH @ CUI

July 1-2: Columbus, OH @ Cash Explosion
July 4-5: Greensboro, NC @ The Comedy Zone
July 6: Fayetteville, NC @ The Comedy Zone
July 9-13: Tampa, FL @ The Improv
July 16-20: Des Moines, IA @ The Funny Bone
July 23-27: Kansas City, MO @ The Improv

My Interests

Stand Up Comedy, Drinking Pina Coladas, and Getting Caught in the Rain.

Listen to my podcast at billanddan.com .

I'd like to meet:

The Diamonds. They come from Glasgow.
They're here to play football.
Football's their game.

Music:

Roger Clyne and the Peacemakers/The Refreshments, Watershed, Butch Walker, Rancid, Squeeze, Weezer, Better Than Ezra, Ok Go, The Hold Steady, Cheap Trick, Fountains of Wayne, Green Day, Nick Lowe, Stray Cats, Prince, Aimee Mann, Wheatus, Miranda Lambert, Eric Church, The Clash, The Drams/Slobberbone, The Kinks, Fall Out Boy, 1980s New Wave, Power Pop, 1960s Top 40

Movies:

I have liked the moving pictures much better since they became talkies.

Television:

Did you get your tickets?

Also, there once was an episode of CHiPs where Fred Dryer (TV's Hunter) was in charge of an elite group of LAPD ninjas. It was the worst thing I have ever seen. Just thought I'd mention that.

Heroes:

I love it in the movies when somebody goes from ZERO to HERO. Or from totally GEEK to totally CHIC. Thank goodness the popular kids have time for the rest of us. So, really, aren't the popular kids the real heroes? And...The Men Who Perfected the
Quick Silver Karate Method

My Blog

Less of Me to Love

I didn't want to post anything about my weight until I really got going with my new diet and exercise program. I have had too many false starts in the past, and I wanted to see a real commitment from...
Posted by Dan Swartwout on Sat, 03 May 2008 03:44:00 PST

A Birthday and Two New Videos

Last week was my birthday. My wife got me a bowling ball! Here is a picture of my new 15 pound Brunswick Avalanche, customized for Dan:Awww, yeah! Since I got the ball, I have already bowled a 194 ...
Posted by Dan Swartwout on Sat, 22 Mar 2008 02:29:00 PST

Too Cold For Soda

I have learned a few things during my stay in Ft. Wayne, Indiana. Most importantly, when it's five degrees below zero, do not leave seven cans of Diet Dr. Pepper in your car. They will explode, leav...
Posted by Dan Swartwout on Sat, 26 Jan 2008 08:36:00 PST

Midge, help me out here.

In my second favorite episode of The Simpsons, the residents of Springfield gather at the Simpsons' house to watch the premiere episode of the Itchy and Scratchy and Poochie show. During Poochie's ho...
Posted by Dan Swartwout on Sat, 19 Jan 2008 12:13:00 PST

Ive been here before...

I posted this almost exactly one year ago. And unfortunately it's just as relevant today. Here we go again!Looking at the bright side of an OSU loss....As an Ohio State graduate, I am certainly disa...
Posted by Dan Swartwout on Tue, 08 Jan 2008 09:36:00 PST

Goodbye Gabby

We had to put our dog, Gabby, to sleep yesterday. She was in the advanced stages of kidney failure and had gone really downhill in the last few days.Gabby was a great dog. She was sweet, loving, fun...
Posted by Dan Swartwout on Tue, 04 Dec 2007 06:10:00 PST

You’ll thank me... I promise!

At 1:08 of this clip, my new favorite quote:"Are you kidding? I'd be so embarrassed. Look at how funky he is." ...
Posted by Dan Swartwout on Fri, 14 Sep 2007 02:01:00 PST

REAL Schedule

For some reason, MySpace is not letting me update my schedule. I make the updates, but the changes do not show up on my profile. Until that's fixed, here is my real updated schedule as of September ...
Posted by Dan Swartwout on Thu, 06 Sep 2007 10:47:00 PST

Viva Viagra

Welcome to Football Season 2007!Got me a honey gonna set my soul,gonna set my soul on fire!At the end of the dayI'm not a guy who'll stray'cause she's my heart's desire.Now this lonesome toadis sick o...
Posted by Dan Swartwout on Mon, 20 Aug 2007 12:57:00 PST

Welcome Back, Crap

Growing up, my first favorite show was Welcome Back, Kotter. I still have the Sweathogs poster that graced my various bedroom walls from age three until age twenty-three. In one of the great tragedi...
Posted by Dan Swartwout on Sun, 19 Aug 2007 11:37:00 PST