Retro Guitar Boy - ProfilesArchive

About Me

I'm a guitarist. It's the only thing I'm good at, so I'm pretty damn good at it.
I am available for sessions etc.
Very friendly/easy going with pro-attitude.
Good gear, strong look, big stage presence.
Message me for more information.
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Profile Serving Suggestion: to be taken with a pinch of salt...
Too many people take MySpace seriously... it's actually very rubbish. Spam anyone?
I set a thousand Monkeys to work on a thousand keyboards and this is the best MySpace Profile they could come up with...
In three words, "Art school fop" would be a fairly accurate description of me.
If you are going to add me as a friend and it's not something music related we've been talking about, please send me a message and explain why in god's name you'd want me as a friend?!
"The MySpace Game"
Guys on MySpace: Oh yeah, she's definitely going to message you back with her number if you set your profile picture as you with your top off...
Girls on MySpace: Oh yeah, he's definitely going to message you back with his number if you set your profile picture as you with your top off. Seriously.
My house smells of rich mahogany; I have many leather bound books...
Love vintage clothing. I have much of it sitting in piles on my bedroom floor.
I have a somewhat leftfield sense of humour.
Please visit...
...I contribute inane babble for these lovely chaps.
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MYSPACE CATEGORIES All MySpacers fall into one of the following categories:
- The Pete Doherty Disciple ("He's not the messiah, he's a very naughty boy..." -
- The "I'm into a little bit of everything, except Country & Western" person -
- Emo girls (probably posting pictures of her tatt's/piercings -
- Emo boys (Probably upset about something) -
- Band/muso indie boy losers -
- Metal dudes and goth girls -
- Glamour & wannabe glamour models ("Look! I almost have my breasts out!") -
- Pervy men ("Hey wanna chat on MSN?" - 'Koff!) -
- The "Sorry guys, I'm only looking for girls right now..." Bi-Girl -
- The sexually indecisive girl: Today it's bi. Yesterday it was lesbian. Tomorrow who knows?!
- People looking to amass as many "friends" as possible ("Add me!" they post in every Group) -
- The A.M.S.U. (Average MySpace User - "What's this MySpace thing all about?" -
- The Groupie (male): Here for Glamour Models -
- The Groupie (female): Here for Bands -
- The "My friend invited me, but I don't get it" person -
- The "Bare my soul .." person (often found blogging...) -
- "Bank balance required for add" wannabe OC/Californian models -
- The Loopy Indie Girl who attends every gig by every new band (but never as a groupie though) -
- The new divorcee who read about MySpace in the Guardian -
- The stunning girl with 89,942 friends but no text in her profile -
- The underager (your parents would be so ashamed of those pictures of yourself you posted...) -
- The overager (your children would be so ashamed of those pictures of yourself you posted...) -
- The MySpace serial dater ("cheaper than a dating site") -
- The Indie Disco Predator: Hunting the dancefloor for unsuspecting indie boys/girls -
- Wannabe band boys: taking a picture of yourself with your mates guitar isn't fooling anyone. -
- The fake profile: come on chaps, the only reason that fit girl in the bikini (you know the one with only one picture on their profile, probably stolen from "Hot or Not", has no customised top friends, no interests and nothing but "Thanks for the add" from other blokes in her comments area) added you was to spam your comments box. It's actually a fat, sweaty bloke somewhere in mid-west America. Deal with it.
I'll add to the groups as I find them :op
Whatever group you fall into, you are all special in your own way. :o)
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Support live music in your area!
www.livecircuit.net (Herts)
www.josaka.com (Berks)
www.ukbands.net
Bands
Do yourself and the music scene a favour:
Don't play "Pay To Play" venues - these places and promoters are scum.
Don't enter "Battle Of The Bands" competitions - these nights cheapen live music.
Some things that matter:
www.stopesso.com/why.php
www.makepovertyhistory.org/
www.greenpeace.org/international/
www.oxfam.org.uk/

My Interests

MUSIC!...If the neighbours aren't complaining it's not loud enough. Grubby live music venues. Rock posturing in tight trousers.

From a time when it was cool in indie to know how to play your instrument... watch and learn scenesters:

Due to a combination of laziness and lack of interest/time: I take forever to reply to messages (and I may forget altogether) That comment you sent me - yeah, I might get round to accepting it soon.

I'd like to meet:

People who retain the ability to keep their own head out of their arse.

Musicians.

People who think they'd like me to play guitar for them.

Music:

Melody. *tick*.
Songs. *tick*.
Talent. *tick*

Ability with chosen instrument. *tick*

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**NEW!!**
Band Categories

Following on from my personal profile categories, I felt it was time to categorise all the millions of bands that we deny in our friends request inbox everyday. Don't be shy, find your band and be at peace with what you are. :o)

- The "female fronted clueless modern rock band" -
Female singer?
Sleeveless t-shirts and modern leather biker jackets??
Short, nicely gelled spikey hair all round?
A Drummer that works out down the gym all day and insists on taking his shirt off at every gig?
Over produced songs that sound vaguely like Evanescence?
Welcome to 2007 my friends! How long did you spend waiting in the late 90's?

- The "Shoreditch fodder" band -
Braces & pork pie hat?
Slag off bands who either have nice instruments and/or can actually play them?
Undying love for the Libertines?
Read NME?
More hair than songs?
Inability tune guitars?
Don't be frightened - you can leave East London. The rest of the country doesn't bite.

- The "Self Important/Self Righteous Art Rock" band -
Had your record played by John Kennedy?
Feeling of inflated self importance?
Pompously criticise other bands on the internet because they list a commercially viable band as an influence?
On a record label named something like "Moldy Peach Sprinkle Records"?
Against your religion to be sociable with other bands you don't know?
Don't worry, you can tell your grandchildren you never sold out.

- The "Emo fodder" band -
Identifit emo style (by Topman)?
Songs that go "d-d-d-d-duh / Squeal! / Fast Bit / Slow Bit / Stop / LOUD with inaubilble vocal"?
Record company pay for your tattoos? Groupies unable to identify which one of you they blew off last night as you all look vaguely similar after a few Jagermiesters?
You're not emo, you're hardcore (just don't let the hardcore bands here you say that - those guys are scarey...).

- The "Uber Scenester" band -
The natural evolution of the "Shoreditch Fodder" band.
More hair.
More eyeliner
More attitude.
More groupies
Even less songs
You'll probably do well for about 6 months. Maybe even get your own documentary.

- The "Circuit Fodder" band -
3 piece band with no discernable sound?
Playing at the Dublin Castle soon?
Inability to understand the EQ on your amp?
Dave from accounts at work auditioning for second guitar next week?
You're not offending anyone at least. Well, no one except for the "Self Important/Self Righteous Art Rock" band sitting in the corner whispering amongst themselves...

- The "Contemporary Funk Rock" band -
Battle for the guitar limelight between the Guitarist and Bassist?
Slap solos?
Bass player with as many pedals as the Guitarist?
Set that sounds like a 30 minute funk rock jam with little to indicate the transition of songs other than "Thank You!"?
Drummer with his shirt off (used to be in the "female fronted clueless modern rock band" before being kicked out)? I agree - RHCP are great... but seriously Anthony Kiedis is the only one who can get away with those slightly misogynist lyrics...

..

Movies:

Trading Places (the BEST film ever)
The Naked Gun films Grosse Point BlankHigh Fidelitythe Monty Python filmsShaun Of The DeadThis Is Spinal TapOffice SpaceBlur's StarShaped tour video - not exactly a film but simply one of the best things to ever be captured on film!

Television:

Family Guy
< Spaced, Big Train (anything with Simon Pegg/Nick Frost etc. - these men are utter genius), Simpsons, The Mighty Boosh, Armstrong & Miller, Reeves & Mortimer, Fry & Laurie, Family Guy, American Dad, Snuff Box - basically comedy shows...

...In fact, half of the shows I like don't run anymore :o(

"what have you come dressed like that for... like a Camden Leisure Pirate?"

Books:

Rock Biographies, Factual, Politics. Not a fiction fan.

Heroes:

Bernard Butler
This man is a legend.

Koss

Jeff Buckley
As is this man above... If I could be reborn as any musician it would have to be Jeff.

Johnny Marr

Jimmy Page

Do I need to tell you who this man is??

Nick Zinner is quite an impressive "new" guitarist.

My Blog

Indiana @ ULU - cheers for coming!

Alright all, Cheers to all of you who came down to the ULU gig last Friday (18th Nov). Was a great night with a great atmosphere. Much kudos to The Voxx and The Ascent too. Set was: ...
Posted by Retro Guitar Boy on Fri, 25 Nov 2005 07:07:00 PST

Oh Yes, You Love It - This Was the Cha Cha Cha Music Festival!

In answer to the mails I've had, the all day festival that we were running in Cassiobury Park in Watford was a blinding success! It was tied in with the annual Watcha Film Festival ( www.watchafi...
Posted by Retro Guitar Boy on Tue, 30 Aug 2005 05:46:00 PST